all good things: keys to happiness

All Good Things started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week.

Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: Let Her Go by Passenger. This is the song that has been stuck in my head all week long... probably because it's playing on the radio almost every time I turn it on. After song of the week, I officially name it overplayed.

2. The Princess Bride. My local Regal Cinema is playing classic movies on Sundays and Wednesdays this winter, and last night it was Princess Bride which is one of my all-time favorite movies and the first thing J and I really connected on when he was still just Coffeeshopcrush. So of course we went to see it for date night and it was really cool to see it on the big screen, surrounded by middle-aged couples who were quoting the movie and laughing hysterically the whole time.

3. New shoes. I signed up for the Spartan Sprint again this year, and I thought a new pair of running shoes would be a good way to kick off six months of training. I got some New Balance trail running shoes and took them for a spin around the neighborhood this afternoon. They are awesome.

4. Opus No. 1 by Tim Carleton and Darrick Deel. I turned on NPR this afternoon on the way back from DSW, and This American Life was on with a story about tracking down a song somebody had stuck in his head endlessly. The song ended up being some obscure hold music from Cisco, and it's super 80s and kind of haunting. I put it on repeat while I ran this afternoon and it has a nice feet-on-the-pavement beat to it... With plenty of synth over top.

5. This article from Slate about the "Do What You Love; Love What You Do" mantra. I rarely read an article and find myself or my perspectives immediately changed. But this article made me think, and while I'm not making any rash decisions about my professional life I suspect I will find myself approaching work, and the way I talk about it, differently.

6. Getting back on the horse. My workout routine came this close to extinction through the end of last year, but this week I went to three classes and ran a couple of times. It feels good to get moving again.

7. We got WiFi! Our friends and family have been very concerned about our lack of internet and cable, particularly since we moved. To be honest, I have really enjoyed not having it; but it does make a lot of things hard, and it makes our house less of a draw for friends to come and hang out. So now we have it, and it's been awesome. Now I just have to work on not letting it take over my life...

8. Cleaning. We're mostly moved in to the new place, but there are of course a few things still out of place. So today I did a bunch of actual cleaning, to make way for organizing and nesting that needed to be done. It's not quite finished yet, but I'm really satisfied with the progress I've made.

9. The New Castle Farmers' Market. This place is a local legend in New Castle County where I live, but I have only ever been there on Sundays 'til now, which means the Amish section has always been closed. This time we went on Saturday, and got some great stuff. This includes a couple of delicious New York strip steaks that J then cooked on the charcoal grill that came with our new house. Yummm.

10. Surprising conversations. I went to church this morning, and had a few surprising and really fulfilling conversations with people. I laughed with two people I haven't laughed with before, and talked about happiness and shared perspectives I never expected to share.



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Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about.

And thanks for joining us every Sunday night! Join the Baby Steps on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for good things every day, and updates on new posts. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for!

Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!

posted from Bloggeroid

all good things: the secret life

All Good Things started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. We both contribute things to the list, so I'll tell you who said what to avoid confusion...

Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: Lake Michigan by Rogue Wave. This song was the musical accompaniment to a gorgeous international travel montage in Walter Mitty. Breathtakingly glorious.

2. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. J and I watched this movie (#8 in the box office as of Wednesday afternoon) for date night this week, and it was beautiful and inspiring and funny. Definitely recommend. -Clara

3. La Fia. A famous Philly restaurateur opened up this little French bakery in Wilmington this summer, and we've been hearing about the gourmet cheeses for months now. Friday night we went there for dinner with J's siblings and the food and drinks were also delicious. It's fine dining, so not cheap, and small portions - but they really take their flavors and ambiance seriously. -Clara

4. Columbus Inn. Another place I've been wanting to visit for months (if not years). Last night a friend stopped by and she was craving Columbus Inn pizza, so we decided to go out with her. This place also takes mixed drinks seriously; the bartender was an artist and made a pretty killer Old Fashioned. We each ordered a pizza: one Kennett Square with mushrooms and caramelized onions, a tomato basil mozzarella, and a roasted pear and prosciutto with balsamic glaze. All amazing. And the inside was beautiful, with comfortable chairs and soft music, so we could actually hold a conversation. -Clara

5. Massages. J's mom gave me a gift certificate for a Swedish massage for my birthday, and I've been saving it for after the holidays. Yesterday morning I finally got up and went in, and it was amazing. I felt like all the bad stuff was flushed out of my body and I was so dazed for the rest of the day (in a good way). Plus it was a great excuse to take some Me-time. -Clara

6. Luke and I rearranged our living room this week, and I'm loving it. It's great how a little change can be so refreshing. -Cassie

7. Changing a hairstyle. A few weeks ago I chopped quite a few inches off of my hair. It's been tough getting used to it, but I'm definitely glad I did it! -Cassie

8. Fitbit. I've been using a Fitbit for the last few weeks (it's a pedometer that also tracks sleep, etc). Using it has made me realize that I sit way too much everyday so I've started taking short breaks to walk around at work. I feel healthier already! -Cassie

9. Finding old cards people have sent you. I was cleaning out a drawer today and found some really great old cards from friends and family. I paused my cleaning to read through them, and they really brightened my day. -Cassie

10. Red lipstick. I bought some this week which is a big deal for me since I've never owned lipstick before! I've only used it once so far, but I feel like I rocked it. -Cassie

BONUS! This is the official blog announcement: Coffeeshopcrush and I are now engaged! I definitely think that counts... but maybe I'm biased ;)


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Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about.

And thanks for joining us every Sunday night! Join the Baby Steps on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for good things every day, and updates on new posts. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for!

Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!

posted from Bloggeroid

all good things: i wanna dance with somebody who loves me

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston. Last night we went to a Korean karaoke place in Alexandria, and had an all-out a cappella jam session to this song in the way there to ramp ourselves up for karaoke. Unfortunately, we had pretty well lost our voices by the time we got there. Plus the video is awesome.

2. Cleaning the closet! Luke and I cleaned our closet today and gave tons of stuff to Goodwill. Not only is it great to have less material things that I don't use, it's great to know someone else will now get to use them!

3. Mom/Daughter dates. My mom came over to have dinner with me, and we hung out for a few hours just talking. A good gab sesh with my mom is really nice sometimes!

4. I picked up Luke from the airport this week and was reminded of the movie Love Actually. People are so genuinely happy to see their loved ones again, and I was no exception :)

5. Woodwick candles are my favorite new household item. I got one for my wedding and am in love with the awesome sound they make!

6. Amy Grant Christmas music!! I never do anything Christmas-y until December. BUT, I always start listening to AG Christmas albums after the first snowfall. Lucky for me that happened this week. Yes!!

7. Conversation starters. I took my Bluetooth keyboard to the Y on Thursday to crank out a few hundred words before class, and two separate people asked me about it. Apparently my typing issues are not unique, and provide plenty of fodder for conversation.

8. Quiddler. My parents had houseguests this week, friends and former coworkers from Woodstock. After our customary rounds of Bananagrams, they brought out a new game we hadn't played before, called Quiddler, which involves spelling but a little less focus. We all enjoyed doing something new, and it was a great new thing to do too!

9. Wilmington Beer Week. Beer week is great, because all these great craft breweries get featured at all these great local restaurants, with featured menus, and I happen to love food, beer, and local restaurants. The only problem with beer week is it's not cheap. So we chose one for the week and went with it. On Wednesday J. and I went to Dead Presidents and got their featured five course meal with 4-ounce beer pairings from Goose Island. De-li-cious.

10. Tea parties. This weekend was Mary's bridal shower in Alexandria, so I drove down on Saturday and picked up Lisa in Baltimore on my way. I always forget how great it is being around people you've been friends with for a long time, even though I know I miss it constantly. The shower was great, with elegant tea cups and saucers from Salvation Army and a great spread of cookies and tarts, put together by Ellen. And then the tea party evolved into dinner, with lots of good people and lots of wine, and a makeshift version of Loaded Questions, and karaoke in a private room at a Korean bar, which is actually not that different from our normal lives together, which involves a lot of constant singing. One of the great things about Oles. And in general, SO good to be with good friends.



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Thanks for joining us this Sunday night! Stick with the Baby Steps on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for updates on new posts and other stuff about new adulthood. Come back next Sunday night for a reminder of 10 good things that haven't happened yet, and on Wednesday night for a more in-depth reflection on post-grad life. Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile.

posted from Bloggeroid

all good things: gold-gilded days

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

There are almost too many good things to count this week. I had a hard time choosing list items. But that's good, right?

1. Song of the week: Counting Stars by One Republic. My sister posted this song on Facebook earlier this week and it's been in and out of my head ever since. Plus, the video is beautiful and gives me the chills.

2. When worlds collide. After Monday morning power yoga, one of the regulars looked at my St. Olaf T-shirt and said with a knowing grin, "Minnesota, eh?" It took me so off guard that I accidentally yelled, "You know it!?" Way too loud and excited for the end of a yoga class. Also I wasn't quite sure even at the time whether it was a question or a cheer...

3. Leftovers (Mom cooking). I am a fine cook, but I think we all know there is nothing like a good dinner cooked by our moms and then packed up and sent home for leftover lunches.

4. Delaware, Small Blunder... Wonder! Small Wonder. This is one of J.'s and his dad's favorite jokes. Somehow it never gets old. There are plenty of jokes about Delaware. Among them, the One Degree of Separation. I went to a networking event this week hosted by the county's top radio stations - immediately ran into someone I knew, and heard a lot of familiar names throughout the night. It's a small state and I actually like that.

5. Surprises. My dad made cinnamon rolls on Monday night and forgot to send them home with me; so my mom dropped off a tupperware full of them on my porch for me to find when I got home from work.

6. Swype. I don't know how I've missed this 'til now, but I discovered a feature on my smartphone where I can just drag my finger around the keyboard and it automatically spells words for me. It's like a super-modern T9. Makes typing very speedy. I am obsessed.

7. The Five People You Meet In Heaven. Another book from Mitch Albom, the author of Tuesdays With Morrie. It is a quick read, or would be, if I used my free moments for reading. I polished it off this weekend, with no shortage of tears, but it is beautiful and inspiring and makes you think about your life, but not too hard. I love that Mitch Albom went from being a sports writer to easily the most recognized writer about life and death in the United States. A topic of endless fascination to me.

8. Bonfires. A bunch of us gathered in my parents' backyard on Friday night for a bonfire. Aside from the fact that I inadvertently told three separate people to bring hot dogs and rolls (we had probably a few hundred for less than 15 people), it was a lovely evening. The weather was crisp and cold, the fire was warm, the cider was spicy,

9. Dressing up. Last night was the Halloween Loop, easily one of Wilmington's most renowned events of the year. It's basically a pub crawl, at least in theory - as it turns out the best way to hit it is to go out early, pick a place and stay there. People get pretty creative with costumes. We had a bunch of people over beforehand, and some of us went all out with our costumes. We made a fun group, and there were plenty of wild and wicked costumes out in the bars and the streets to keep my eyes occupied.

10. Fall weather. I love fall, and this week has been the epitome of what's great about it. All golden slanting sunlight bouncing off golden leaves in the trees and falling from them; those crisp mornings, hot in the middle of the day but with a breeze; smells like fall in the afternoon and like winter at night. Gorgeous. I just want to walk everywhere.

I may be cheating, but I also want to say a quick congratulations to J.'s brother and his fiancee, who got engaged recently! We have been celebrating them lately, so I felt like now was the time to shout out on the blog. So much love in the air!

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Thanks for joining us this Sunday night! Stick with me on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for updates on new posts and other stuff about new adulthood. Come back next Sunday night for a reminder of 10 good things that haven't happened yet, and on Wednesday night for a more in-depth reflection on post-grad life. Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile.

posted from Bloggeroid

all good things: brave little toaster oven

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: The Twist by Chubby Checker. Went out with some friends this weekend (which I rarely do) and checked out the relatively new Jameson Whiskey Bar at Kelly's (the new upstairs venue at Kelly's Logan House in Trolley Square). They had a fun band playing and I finished out the night twisting like nothing else existed. Because it's important to let go every now and then and dance like nothing else exists.

2. Constant Comment. Constant Comment is a classic. Lately it's been the only tea I want to drink. It's warm with the perfect amount of spice for fall.

3. "WE STILL DEVELOP 35MM FILM." Every morning on my way to work I drive past Walgreen's, which has a huge digital sign out front about developing film that for some reason strikes me as hilarious.

4. Ciao. On Friday J. and I went for a walk/run in the park and afterward strolled around Trolley Square looking for houses for rent. We didn't find any rental signs, but we did walk past this tiny, acute-triangle-shaped pizza joint that inspired us to get slices. It was some of the best pizza I've had in awhile.

5. Much Ado About Nothing. We got Joss Whedon's latest from RedBox, mostly because Nathan Fillion is in it, but I don't always have super high expectations for film adaptations of Shakespeare. But I was pleasantly surprised at the whole thing. I had read that Whedon took the whole script as-is, only adding one scene at the very beginning that of course changed the entire tone of the plot... but I didn't hate it. It actually added an interesting spin. I didn't like the black-and-white at first, but by the end it had grown on me. Amy Acker was excellently cast as Beatrice, plus some other members of the Whedon universe. Overall I thought it was pretty great.

6. Toaster ovens. I can confidently name this as the most genius appliance ever invented. You can make toast in it, heat leftovers, bake frozen pizza, keep stuff warm, and make food from scratch (quesadillas, baked potatoes, and fish, to name a few). Just fantastic.

7. One of my Really Important People got married this weekend. I wasn't able to make it, unfortunately; but it's particularly cool because this marriage wouldn't have been legal this time last year. Thanks to Minnesota, the 12th state to legalize same-sex marriages.

8. Reunions. An old family friend from Upstate New York got a sponsorship to do some work this week at Winterthur, a beautiful facility just a few minutes up the road from us. So this week, my mom and I met up with her for dinner at Nirvana, a Fine Indian Restaurant in Independence Mall. It was so good to get to catch up with her, and have some grown-up girl time.

9. Federal Donuts. I was introduced this weekend by J.'s brother, his fiancee, and her best friend, who fondly refer to it as "Fed 'Nuts" and tout the virtues of the donuts, the coffee, the fried chicken. Really, everything was delicious. I ate three donuts total, six different flavors: some more predictable cinnamon-sugary ones, and some like vanilla lavender, blackberry anise, and mango coconut. Plus, the place itself is earthy-cute in a way that places in Minneapolis are earthy-cute, but not many places in Delaware are. I am its latest fan.


10. People like to help each other. I posted a picture of my "save the bottle caps" jar on Instagram this weekend and within a few minutes I had two offers to send bottle cap collections for my project. Pretty cool.


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Thanks for joining us this Sunday night! Stick with me on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for updates on new posts and other stuff about new adulthood. Come back next Sunday night for a reminder of 10 good things that haven't happened yet, and on Wednesday night for a more in-depth reflection on post-grad life. Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile.

posted from Bloggeroid

all good things: arts and culture and local pride!

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and her radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: Glad You're Here by Macy Gray. This song has been on the BodyFlow playlist the past two weeks, and it makes me smile every time. I always feel like closing my eyes and swaying.

2. The Brandywine Festival of the Arts. This is an annual local arts festival with all manner of crafts: clothes, jewelry, home decor, gifts, yard embellishments, ceramics... Beautiful things and great culture. I went yesterday with a friend and the weather was perfect. We also discovered local duo Nalani & Sarina. Twins, my age, with voices like Joss Stone and a vibe like Andy Grammer.

3. Fresh mojitos and soul food. When J. got home in the afternoon I started cranking out mojitos with fresh mint from the backyard. So refreshing! And then we made cornbread, fried chicken and roasted okra from the CSA last week, and corn on the cob my mom got us from a local farmers' market. Yummm!

4. Triple chocolate hill. We rescheduled date night for Friday this week, and made a reservation (which we never do) at Iron Hill Brewery on the Riverfront. The food and the beer are always good there. I had a really rich, delicious triple and J. had a toasty dunkel. But then we splurged on dessert: chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream and peanut butter-caramel sauce. Plus, 75 cents of it goes to NCCF and 75 cents to each location's local charity of choice: in this case, the Be Positive Foundation. Feel good dessert all around.

5. The library. They have free internet, AND books, AND movies, AND full seasons of awesome TV shows I wouldn't otherwise get to watch. For example...

6. Parks and Rec. I caught an episode of this at someone's house, and found the first season at the library, and powered through five episodes on Wednesday night while vegging out HARD. Something I never let myself do... And it's so funny! (Plus, Aubrey Plaza, who plays April, is a native Delawarean!)

7. Figuring out football...bit by bit. It was on at J.'s parents' house today and I was miraculously able to stay focused on it, and it made some sense! It's still not something I would choose to watch, but I like sort of knowing what's going on at least.

8. Going the Distance. A chick flick that J. actually likes, but I hadn't seen in full until this week. Also very funny and feel-good. And Justin Long and Drew Barrymore are a lovely unlikely pairing.

9. Cleaning up the road. My dad's church has adopted the highway in their neighborhood, and we go out once a month or once every other month, and then we have church and breakfast and it's a really nice community event. And today, I got J. up and out and all the church ladies were telling me how handsome he is and how glad they were to see him at church. Which also made me happy.

10. Cassie's bridal festivities! Sadly I missed the parties yesterday but it sounded like there was a good time in store for that girl. And she definitely deserves it!

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Like second set of baby steps on Facebook at www.facebook.com/theBabyStepsSaga! New posts show up there first, plus other articles about post-grad life, plus teasers and other important information. Thanks for reading! Tune in next Sunday for more All Good Things, and come back Wednesday for my latest reflections on being a "new adult."

all good things: brought to you by the letter B

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and her radio co-host Cassie.

1. Song of the week: The Wire by HAIM.  Girl power band with some serious talent... Plus, the video is great. PLUS, men getting broken up with like women. I really do think we do it right.

2. Bonus song of the week: Red Hands by Walk off the Earth.  It's everywhere right now, and hasn't gotten old... At least not yet!

3. Cowboy Monkey Rodeo at the Wilmington Blue Rocks. We already all know how I love the Blue Rocks and minor league, hometown baseball in general... But this took my love to new heights. Hands down, the funniest thing I have seen in months. Legitimately: monkeys dressed in fringe jackets, riding on border collies and herding goats around the field. Priceless. I highly recommend you watch this: http://youtu.be/jGqfQuy14pA

Also, Wilmington was the City That Started It All! Now the Cowboy Monkey Rodeo does shows all over the country.

4. Birthday surprises. A bunch of us gathered at Grotto on Friday for a friend's birthday, and he didn't know we would be there. The look on his face was priceless.

5. Playing it by ear and rolling with the punches. On Friday night I was trying to split my time between two birthday parties, and coordinate with a bunch of different people about who would be where when... And of course nothing went according to plan! But I did get to see and spend time with a lot of different important people. So it all worked out in the end... More or less!

6. Babies! There were babies at the barbecue yesterday. One of them was a rambunctious two-year-old who had us all wrapped around his finger... And then of course there's Jason's niece, who I swear gets cuter every day.

7. Barbecue. We had burgers and dogs every day this weekend. Delicious, of course... But mostly great because it means we're with friends.

8. Beer. Had some homebrew that was good this weekend... Also, pumpkin beer and Oktoberfest season is already starting! Not quite ready for it yet... But I'm definitely getting used to the idea!

9. Caprese salad. The "B" here being fresh basil. I am OBSESSED with caprese salad right now, since Jason grabbed all those local plum tomatoes, and has been nursing his basil plant back to health in its new, much larger pot. It's so delicious, so simple, so light and fresh!

10. Random singing. This is actually a large part of my life in general, but this week it has come up a lot. I'll say this is a sign of good feeling all around, sharing music and laughter with different groups of people, lots of "motor mouth" belting out songs in the car, and "harmonizing" with the radio and with each other.

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Like second set of baby steps on Facebook at www.facebook.com/theBabyStepsSaga! New posts show up there first, plus other articles about post-grad life, plus teasers and other important information. Thanks for reading! Tune in next Sunday for more All Good Things, and come back Wednesday for my latest reflections on being a "new adult."

all good things: history and more heartwarming things

1. Song of the week: London Calling by The Clash. For some reason I've been hankering to listen to London Calling by The Clash this week. It's a completely random urge since I don't normally listen to The Clash.

2. Visiting friends! A friend from St. Olaf just moved to New York for grad school, and she came down to hang out for a weekend. It was really good to see her and get to talk about lots of interesting things. And an excuse to go to all the cool places there are to go to around here, and get people that I like together.

3. Old New Castle. I'm sure this one has made the list before, because I love Old New Castle. (It's also known as Historic New Castle, but I like the contradiction of "old new" right next to each other.) I also like the tours and the museums and just walking up and down the cobbled streets... I could take the old courthouse tour a hundred times (and I'm already well on my way). I like walking past this huge purple house that was up for sale a few months ago, and has since been taken off the market, but I still gaze at forlornly every time I walk past. And I always leave feeling more relaxed than I do at any other time.

4. Baking soda, tin foil, and hot water. We found a few pieces of really tarnished silverware, and discovered that if you line a pan with aluminum foil, set the silverware in there, sprinkle baking soda over it, cover it in warm water, and let it sit, the change is pretty impressive.

5. Puppies and babies. Separately, these things are both really cute. Together, they are unstoppably adorable. I'm not even a big dog person, but today at family dinner there was a new puppy who is SO CUTE and rambunctious... AND a baby that, as we have already determined, is endlessly charming, captivating, and the apple of everyone's eye. Is "too much cute to go around" even a thing? Because if it is, we achieved it today.

6. Someone bringing treats to work! I absolutely love walking into the break room at work and finding some type of treats in the break room. Last week there was a meeting in our building that had an entire tray of leftover desserts! It made my entire day. Nothing like an unexpected brownie, cookie, or bar to make your afternoon go by more quickly.

7. I've been working at my job for a little over a year now, and I got certificate from my boss the other day. It honors my "1 year of service changing lives and communities." Sometimes it can feel like no one notices or appreciates the things I do at work, so little things like a certificate really brighten my day!

8. Bunnies! My friend Kristy is moving out to Massachusetts which is really sad. But until her boyfriend, Mitch, gets back from moving her out there Luke and I get to watch her bunny, Noah! He's chocolate brown and super cute. We're learning his likes and dislikes. Likes: carrots, apples, head scratches, hiding under the coffee table. Dislikes: being picked up, loud apartment noises (slamming doors,etc), and going to bed at night. I want to keep him forever!

9. The National. Luke and I saw them in concert last week, and they were fantastic as always. They played at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium which has the worst acoustics in the world, but they still managed to be so great! At one point the lead singer hopped off the stage with his mic and sang a song while walking through the crowd. Such a lovely time!

10. Writing thank you's. I've been having some bridal showers lately, and my friends and family are so incredibly generous. Writing thank you's to them after the shower I get to really think about how grateful I am to each person and take a moment to explain why I feel so lucky to have that person in my life. When I first start writing thank you's I always feel like it's a chore, but by the end I'm feeling so overwhelmed and happy to have these people in my life!

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Like second set of baby steps on Facebook at www.facebook.com/theBabyStepsSaga! New posts show up there first, plus other articles about post-grad life, plus teasers and other important information. Thanks for reading! Tune in next Sunday for more All Good Things, and come back Wednesday for my latest reflections on being a "new adult."

all good things: sun and sea and good food

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and her radio co-host Cassie.

1. Song of the week: 2am by Slightly Stoopid. Not my favorite band name ever, but the song has been our Zumba cool down song for the past few weeks and it's got a good groove.

2. Patron XO. Jason's parents recently went to Mexico and brought back bottles of this delicious coffee tequila for their sons. Fortunately Jason has been generous enough to share it with me. My favorite way to imbibe it is over ice cream. Yummm!

3. Deep fried Oreos. The best Boardwalk dessert; the kind of thing you look forward to all day long. 

4. The Casual Vacancy, J.K. Rowlings' first adult novel. It's about a tiny town in England and all the political and social drama among its inhabitants. I've talked to a few people who started reading this and gave up when it became clear that there is no magic in it. But I stuck with it, charmed by the details (always a forte of hers in Harry Potter) and, now somewhere around page 300, I'm having a hard time putting it down.

5. Chicken madras. On Wednesday Jason and I ended up going to Maharaja for dinner. Last time we went there we got the entrees with hot spice and I couldn't even eat the food-- impressive, when most Indian restaurants stateside tone it down incredibly. Anyway, we learned our lesson and had recovered enough to go back. And we had mango lassi, garlic naan, aloo palak, and chicken madras, which wins dinner this week especially since I wasn't convinced at first that I even wanted it. Another lesson learned.

6. Wildwood. As I write this I am on my way back from the Jersey Shore with my "roommates." We just spent Saturday and Sunday on the beach, napping and swimming and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and trying not to let the seagulls at 'em. So relaxing, and good girl time. Also, the sand there is so much finer than the sand at the Delaware beaches... Which is good in some ways ( it doesn't get quite as churned up in the waves, for example) but that also means it clings to things and silts into cracks and crevices.

7. Zumba! Katy and I went to zumba twice this week with our favorite instructor. And on Thursday we found out that she will no longer be teaching at the Y! That part is not a good thing, but it does make me not take it for granted. It's just such a fun reason to be super sweaty!

8. Wawa. Stopping at Wawa for breakfast to kick off a road trip has become a bit of a tradition lately. The bagels are just so good! So are most things at Wawa, actually. Hoagiefest is something I am a huge fan of as well. 12-inch subs for $4.79? Yes please!

9. How I Met Your Mother (a.k.a. HIMYM). The modern version of Friends. So funny. So current and relatable. Jason and I are currently in the middle of rewatching the whole series while we wait for season 8 to come out on DVD/Netflix. I just bought season 3 (since we don't actually have internet at home).

10. Good conversations with interesting people. I went out for happy hour on Friday with Jason and a bunch of people he used to work with, all of whom I liked a lot. Good people, warm and welcoming. I also love how my horizons are expanded every time I meet someone new.

Like second set of baby steps on Facebook at www.facebook.com/theBabyStepsSaga! New posts show up there first, plus other articles about post-grad life, plus teasers and other important information. Thanks for reading! And have a good week!

all good things: people and details

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and her radio co-host Cassie.

1. Song of the Week: Listened to Faithfully by Journey today (an All Good Things classic!) It reminded me of our Journey paper in Senior Sem with Tom when he suggested we name our papers after Journey songs/lyrics. I named mine after the Faithfully lyric when Steve Perry sings "Ooo-whooaa-ooooooo-OOO" at the end. I thought it was the funniest thing ever :)

2. Visits from friends. One of my first friends from college, Lisa, came up from Baltimore this weekend and even just spending some really mundane time together recharged my heart and soul.

3. Sisters' night. On Friday night my two baby sisters (and by "baby" I mean they are not far from 20) spent the night. We ate Boston Market and watched Friends and then spent most of Saturday talking about important things and life. My family is really the coolest.

4. Perfect timing. On Wednesday night, after the great blogging fiasco of July 2013, Jason and I raced up to grab dinner before the 8:20 movie. We got to the restaurant at 7:50 and made it to the ticket booth at 8:30... And got decent seats in the theater halfway through the previews.

5. Anthony's Coal Fired Pizza. Delicious smoky-tasting pizza and savory, salty wings. Also beer, interesting decor, good background music, and pleasant, quick service.

6. Making new connections. Saturday night Jason and Lisa and I were talking about going out when I got a text message from a girl I met a few weeks ago at the Electric Run, asking if we wanted to get drinks in Trolley Square. So we went, and met up with her and her crew, and I remembered how much I love getting to talk to new people and expand my horizons. So worth it.

7. Orange is the New Black. (Netflix television show). Luke and I started watching it this weekend, and I really enjoy the show! It's completely different from a lot of the things on television nowadays. I really love how woman who are normally cast as aberrations (lesbians, convicts, ethnicities other than Caucasian) are main characters in this show. We're only 2 episodes in, and the show has been intense, but I like it!

8. Co-cleaning. Luke and I had guests over this weekend and didn't realize how gross our apartment was until like 30 minutes before they were due to arrive. Turns out, when Luke and I put our minds to it we can clean like the wind! It's actually fun to clean with another person, and I think we'll start doing that more often!

9. Napping outside! Spent a lovely afternoon at Lake Harriet Rose Garden on Saturday. I fell asleep on a blanket under a tree and had the most blissful nap ever. Gentle breezes, slow-moving puffy clouds, and fluffy dogs walking past me. It was seriously the perfect afternoon!

10. Baked peaches with brown sugar. In the summer I love cutting peaches (or nectarines or plums) in half, removing the pit, sprinkling brown sugar on them, and baking them. They make the perfect summer dessert with a little fresh whipped cream!

Enjoy the first full week of August, dear readers! See you next time.

all good things: right in the feel-goods

1. Song of the week: Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke. I had a Moment with this song on Saturday, when we walked into a bar and wove across a dance floor where every person was smiling giddy and singing along, word for word. Reason to love pop culture: it creates kinship in strange and beautiful ways such as this.

2. The Electric Run. My roommate and I went up to Philly on Saturday for the Electric Run, which was eventually called off because of lightning (talk about electric). I think our time was pretty good, but more importantly we got there in time to finish it without getting electrocuted. Also the lighting design of the run was really cool, the park was beautiful, and the whole thing was a lot of fun.

3. Reuniting with old friends, and making new ones. I joined the run on an old New York classmate's team - we used to live diagonally across the street from each other in Amsterdam, swam together in high school, and used to hang out all the time back in 5th grade. It was fun catching up. Plus, one of her college friends who also ran with us now lives in Newark, Delaware. So hopefully we can meet up in town down here in the near future. I also randomly saw a classmate from St. Olaf in the starting area... Small world.

4. The Delaware State Fair. J and I drove down to Harrington, Delaware, yesterday for the state fair! I love this kind of stuff. Fried food, sugary drinks and shaved ice, cute animals, plaid shirts, jeans, and cowboy boots... Highlights: picking up chicks (pictured), fried pickles, and a great display about environmental consciousness. I'm getting thermal curtains and changing all my lightbulbs to energy efficient ones. 

(On that note, there was an interesting story on NPR this morning about the energy efficiency of ceiling fans, which finished with a crack at hot air in the Capitol and is full of cheesy wordplay. Love it.)

5. Delaware Shakespeare Festival. A bunch of us went to see The Two Gentlemen of Verona on Wednesday night. Even though it was so hot we were dripping sweat just sitting on the lawn watching the show, the production was excellent as usual, plus Wawa sandwiches, wine, good company, and dogs from Faithful Friends! In the play!

6. Promised Land. J and I got this movie from RedBox on Friday night and watched it. It's a complicated film, but we both enjoyed it. More on that Wednesday (tune in!) Plus, John Krasinski is so cute.

7. Going to the zoo with friends. Luke and I went this afternoon to the zoo with some friends. Though seeing some animals in captivity (gorillas) makes me sad, the zoo is a great place to learn about animals and share a fun experience with friends!

8. Eating dinner outside. It's one of my favorite summertime activities! There is something so nice about sharing a meal on someone's patio, deck, or at a restaurant's outdoor area. Also, I love driving around my neighborhood and getting the whiff of someone grilling.

9. Taking a walk in the rain. It was raining when I woke up this morning, and I decided to walk to the gym in the rain. It was so refreshing and soothing! Of course, the smell is lovely too.

10. At my job (legal advocate working with victims of domestic violence) I see women who have been in a relationship with abusive and just all-around not nice guys. This makes me value my relationship with Luke even more than I normally do. It's a nice reminder to not take things for granted.

all good things: everything of champions

1. Song of the week: Ain't My Friend by Jessica Latshaw, Delaware native. She'll be performing on Market Street for Wilmington's Ladybug Music Festival on Thursday! Also, this video (particularly the smiling thug on the right side of the screen) makes me smile big time, over and over again.


2. I rediscovered The World’s Best Bartender on Wednesday night! He used to work at this creole place around the corner from my house and made a mindblowing mojito I haven’t stopped talking about since last year. I haven’t seen him since. But this week, J and I tried out this new restaurant up the road called Latin Fusion, and he was there tending bar, and he made me two excellent margaritas, and gave them to me at happy hour prices because I told him his mojito is legendary. We got to talk drinks for awhile (one of my favorite topics) and he really GETS it. I’m pumped.

3. Finished the Spartan race yesterday without getting injured! It was about 2 miles straight up a mountain, part of it with a 25-pound sandbag on my back; and about 2 miles back down, through mud and water, under barbed wire, over walls and fire. I did probably 100 burpees for the obstacles I didn't complete, but out of 23 obstacles there were only four I couldn't finish. I'm a little sore now, but it was SO much fun, and so satisfying!

4. The New City View Diner in Allentown, PA. On the way back from the race we were so hungry and tired so we stopped at this "creepy diner" that looked like a 1950s futuristic spaceship model, thinking we could at least get some gross greasy food. But it turns out it has the most extensive and varied menu of any place I have ever seen, and they have a sautee menu that comes with a glass of wine and a salad bar and soup, for between $12 and $18, and they have a full bar, and fresh baked goods made on premises every day, and it's open 24 hours a day! Plus the food was fast and delicious. And they have curly fries! I swear I have glimpsed heaven. 

5. Ginberry slushie. Remember the leftover gin bucket we put in the freezer after the Fourth of July? Well, last night we blended it with some fizzy water and drank it on the porch and it was the best.

6. Impromptu casseroles. Also last night at around 9:00 pm, J and I we realized after running around all over town that we hadn't eaten a real meal in awhile, so we just looked at what we had that was fast and mixed it together. What we ended up with was a veggie-and-whole-wheat rotini and shredded chicken casserole with melted mozzarella on top. Yum. And there's plenty left over for lunch today!

7. Cassie's birthday was last week! So Cassie and Luke drove down to Chicago for the weekend, to eat and see the sights! Sounds like a proper celebration to me.

8. She mentioned specifically Chez Moi, a "fun French bistro that was so good!" I told her I would add her items to the list, since she didn't have internet access yesterday.

9. Brunch at the Blue Parrot. Yesterday I woke up craving French toast, so we walked around the corner to the Blue Parrot. As usual, not disappointed. The French toast was some of the best I've ever ordered out, J's Blue Parrot breakfast had the perfect variety and the homefries were excellent, the coffee was strong and good, and the mimosas were only $3!

10. Delilah's favorite song. Someone called into the show the other night and asked Delilah to play her own favorite song... And she played You Gotta Be by Des'ree. Good choice, D. And a great way to start the week!

all good things reprise: episode 17

Another crazy week. This weekend's post is delayed for a number of reasons, mainly too much (good) stuff going on for both Cassie and I. I'll throw together a list now, though, since it's Monday Monday. And you can bet all our excuses will be on it!

1. Weddings! Cassie had a wedding to go to this weekend, which is super exciting.

2. Friends visiting! Also super exciting: my good friend Cat is visiting the East Coast from San Fransisco for a couple of weeks, and has come down here to visit me for a few days!

3. Milestone birthdays! J and his twin brother (weird, right?) turned 30 on Saturday! We threw them a big shindig and I think we can all agree that they were properly celebrated.

4. Trying anything once. We took the guys paintballing on Saturday, which most of us hadn't really done before. We have a lot of battle wounds, but had a great time.

5. Fake mustaches! On Saturday night we all went to a barcade where J bought a ton of stick-on mustaches from the quarter machines and passed them out. I kind of forgot that I had it on after awhile and couldn't figure out why no one could take me seriously.

6. Beautiful Creatures, new in RedBox this week. A captivating and mildly creepy movie with some profound statements about love, magic, beauty, and the good-and-bad-ness of life in general.

7. The beach! Cat and J and I took a day trip to Rehoboth Beach, left super early and spent the day on the beach. I always find sand and sea water and sunshine super therapeutic and healing. Remember how I've been calling for a healer?

8. Happy hour! This makes the list a lot, but this week we went to a new place: Brio at the mall. They have $5 drinks and small plates of food for $3.95!! And outdoor seating!

9. Man of Steel! Saw it on Wednesday and it was AWESOME! I won't say any more, but seriously, see it. Also Superman is way hot in this.

10. Local beer and local beer-related activities! We went to the Dogfish Head restaurant at the beach for lunch and it was a lonnnggg walk from the Boardwalk, but the food and beer was delicious. J's spare rib sloppy joe won food-wise; all three of our beers were phenomenal. Midas Touch, Bratty Swagger, and Tweason'ale. Check 'em out!

Good things in store this week for you? I hope so! Live it up, enjoy what you can, and make the most of whatever else you are dealt.

<3

all good things reprise: episode 16

Happy Father's Day! Spoiler alert: dads will make the list! But these guys are accompanied this week by a series of other really great things, so hit play and read on...



1. <i>Rock of Ages.</i> I drove up to Philly this weekend to meet up with one of my coworkers for the show. We rushed tickets <i>$22</i> at the Kimmel Center, first row! And the show itself was mind-blowingly, face-meltingly excellent. Everyone around us agreed it was the most fun we've ever had at a show.

2. Philadelphia in general was a great time. Sara tweeted that she was going to convince me to move up there... And I gotta say, I don't hate it!

3. Meanwhile, back in Wilmington, in my neighborhood, in fact, St. Anthony's annual Italian Festival has been in full swing all week (except for the two days it was called off because of extreme weather). The festival features carnival rides and games, Italian food, carnival food (deep fried Oreos, anyone?!), pizza, beer, music, alcoholic water ice, gelato... So many good things all in one place!

4. Speaking of extreme weather, we worked from home Thursday in anticipation of hail and lightning strikes, etc... Which is always weird (particularly since I don't have internet at my house, and my job is social media) but in this case turned out to be a very good thing as our server got obliterated at the office and was out nearly 24 hours! Plus, I got <i>so much work</i> done...

5. Minor league baseball. We got some free tickets from work to go to the Wilmington Blue Rocks game on Friday night. This is great because beer and corndogs cost approximately half as much, on average, as they do at the big league games I've been to. And, after the game, there are fireworks!

6. <i>Cloud Atlas.</i> This movie was not so excellently rated, but J and I RedBoxed it last night and actually really enjoyed it! For a three hour movie, I was actually quite enthralled throughout... That is, after we turned on subtitles. (They tried to use a lot of different dialects and accents, some of which are fabricated, and it was really hard to follow.) I like the theme, though.

7. Alarm songs that make you smile when they go off in the morning. I for one need all the help I can get getting out of bed in the morning!

8. Family. Some of my dad's cousins swung through town on Friday, and came up to where I work to take my lunch break with me! I also got to spend some time with my sister this afternoon; she helped me wash my car and we talked. Also, my grandma sent me a note about healing, in reference to my last post... And J's family is also pretty great. It's always a good time when we spend our afternoons over there :)

9. ...But ESPECIALLY fathers, and grandfathers, and godfathers, and all the other men in our lives! My dad is great and I am lucky to have him. It's nice being around now, too. I'm also lucky to have a lot of other great dads in my life: two living grandfathers, J's dad, his brother-in-law who is celebrating his first ever Father's Day! And more than a few of my friends' dads scattered all over the country and the world. Thanks, guys!

<i>Cassie is taking a break from All Good Things this week because she is spending time with her dad. Totally acceptable!</i>

10. Sunsets like this one can really bring closure to the day.

All Good Things Reprise: Episode 15

Have you spent any time in the fresh air today? It could just be the cure-all you desperately need. Or just some general feel good vitamin D. Give yourself a break, sit back, and enjoy the good things life has to offer this week.


1. The 100 Worst Songs Ever playlist on Songza. On Monday morning one of my officemates discovered this playlist and it got us through the morning. Almost every new song elicited a resounding collective "YES!" from both of us (except for the few truly terrible tunes we didn't recognize).

2. The Wilmington Greek Festival. Best spanakopita, dolmades (stuffed grape leaves -- but I learned how to say it the Greek way), baklava! My favorite dessert ever. Gyros, of course, and ouzo, which I have never tasted before but I really quite like that anise flavor.

3. Brave by Sara Bareilles. It's in the playlist this week, but really it deserves its own number because the song has been boosting me every couple of days lately, whenever I need it, and the video gives me happy-chills.

4. On Friday night my parents took J. and I to a Broadway show for my birthday -- a belated birthday gift, because my birthday is in November. I am definitely not complaining that we got to celebrate my birthday twice in one year... We meant to see Rock of Ages but there weren't any good seats left, so we saw Mamma Mia! instead which we also really enjoyed, especially since I haven't even seen the movie before! Also because I love ABBA. We had some delicious Asian fusion food right before the show, right next door to the theater, and some New York cheesecake for dessert afterward. It was raining so hard on Friday we were all soaked the whole time. Times Square was pretty wild with thousands of umbrellas competing for overhead airspace...

5. Girls night out! Last night my roomies and I went out in Trolley Square, which is sort of the 20-somethings' official going out place in northern Delaware. The three of us are usually so busy that we never have time to actually talk and touch base... So we have to schedule it weeks in advance. And when we do finally get together, it's always so good and refreshing.

6. Summer hours! My job allows us to work more hours on Monday-Thursdays and then have a half day on Friday. It's the best thing ever. It feels like I have a long weekend every weekend! The weekdays can feel long, but it's worth it.

7. Honey Kix. Luke and I picked up a box to try it this week. We finished them in like 2 days because they're so flipping good! You should try them. For real.

8. Letting someone play with/do your hair. I don't know what it is, but when someone plays with my hair or styles it in some way I get so relaxed. I had a practice appointment to try out some wedding hairstyles, and I almost fell asleep!

9. The movie Moonrise Kingdom. I saw it in the theater, own a copy of it, and watch it every time it plays on HBO. It's a movie about two 12-year-olds who fall in love. It's so innocent and lovely that I can't help but smile.

10. Making breakfast for someone. I normally wake up earlier than Luke, and I love surprising him with some type of breakfast (eggs, pancakes, etc). I feel like it's a nice way to show my appreciation for all the great things he does for me.


Until next week, dear readers! Be kind to each other! (The really lpvely closing line from The Ellen Show.)

new territory, and oh, how familiar it is



Jason + Jerk Chicken Tacos = <3

This has been a strange and wild week. I'm spending a lot of my free time getting familiar with my new neighborhood, which has turned out to be a very cool place.

We already know I like Dead Presidents. Good food, good drinks, nice bartenders, great atmosphere and great social media. The...quintfecta? The only thing that could make it better is if they played Call Me Maybe/Gangnam Style mashups.

It turns out there are a lot of other places to like, too. Black Lab Bakery. The Blue Parrot, which was nearly empty on Saturday afternoon except for Chris, the server, who made the best mojito I have ever tasted and was also super friendly and fantastic. I'm not kidding about that mojito and I'm not even inclined to qualify that statement, and you know how seriously I take superlatives. That is, not seriously. But I really mean this one. Also, great creole food. We all know how much I love that taste of New Orleans!

Across from the Blue Parrot is a place smiling underneath a sign that says only "Pastry Shop," and which features a gorgeous display of cakes and pastries, as well as gelato. Just enough flavors not to be boring, but so you know it's pretty much the freshest gelato around.

I don't remember if I already mentioned Rocco's, where I got a gin and tonic (emphasis on the gin) and some delicious gnocchi that lasted me three days -- for only $10.

I know I have mentioned the library. It's still wonderful. The lawn is wonderful. It's the place to be on a sunny Saturday or Sunday afternoon; I've done both.

I also found another farmers' market, which to me seemed like more of a weekly carnival. It's in a park probably a mile from my house, and it had used books, some produce (sweet potatoes!), Thai and Mexican food stands, Philly water ice, and a cover band riffing on Bob Dylan.

Also had beers at Famous Tom's in Hockessin last night. It was a comfortable place, and good company didn't hurt. A bar I could get into. I may also have to start a bucket list of Famous [insert man's name here]'s bars to visit in New Castle County, because I can name at least 5 off the top of my head: Tom's, Jim's, Joe's, Tim's, and...

Well, I can name four.

AND on Sunday, I got to hit up HersheyPark with my roommates! Despite the fact that I started off the day with a bang by admitting that I don't actually like rollercoasters, I had a great time and only sat out one ride: The Comet, gigantic wooden coaster. I also flew solo (almost literally) on the Tidal Force, a log flume of epic proportions which inescapably soaks everyone within a 20-foot radius of the foot of the slide.

The last time I was at HersheyPark, I was in eighth grade and the Great Bear, a dangly-feet rollercoaster, was the big new thang. Some of our group waited in line for 3 hours to ride it; I, terrified of heights, irritated by long lines, and delicate of stomach, opted out. This time, we waited in line for about 30 minutes to ride the now 9-year-old coaster, and I loved it. This season's new ride, Skyrush, was terrifying to the nth degree, with thigh-only restraints and floorless edge seats. Needless to say, I sat in the middle. And I screamed the whole time, with my eyes closed for most of it.

OK, let's be honest, I screamed the whole time, as in, on every single ride. I still haven't completely gained my voice back.

The best part of the outing, though, was getting to spend an entire unbounded day with my roommates. You'd think we would see each other at least once a day, since we live in the same house and all, but somehow I only manage to run into them 3-4 times a week. Turns out they're pretty cool! (Ha ha, like I didn't know that before!)

In all seriousness, it is so important to me that I touch base with my roommates, and even just with my friends. Relationships of all types require maintenance, and it's been an interesting exercise so far figuring out the balance of roomies versus boyfriends versus family versus local and long-distance friends.

This brings me to one of my themes this week: living well. This also happened to be my dad's theme last week. If any of you go to Hope Lutheran Church in New Castle, you heard him preach about how will I feel at the end of my life about the way I have lived. This is partly coincidental.

And, of course, partly not. My dad is coming at this question with a bit of agitation, balancing his insatiable drive to make the world a better place, and wrestling currently with whether it may sometimes be more hurtful to speak out on an issue than to remain silent about it. I reminded him, "The beautiful thing about life is that to say we have lived well doesn't mean we haven't made any mistakes. It does not mean that we will look back and see a life free of missteps. We will look back and cringe, but that doesn't mean we can't be happy with the progress we have made and the things we have managed to figure out."

That being said, my angle of concern right now is balance. I'm struggling to balance routine with spontaneity; I'm finding balance in communication, and balance as I said between my various relationships. I'm really focused on balancing practicality, especially financial practicality, with having fun and doing things that make me happy.

Weirdly, my horoscope last Wednesday read:

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It's normal, but not helpful, to come at financial issues from an emotional place. Pay what you can really afford and not a penny more. Finding the right number will require thought as well as accounting.

I've resolved all the medical and auto-related expenses that had me in such a state of despair over the summer, but I'm now facing another year of doctor and dentist appointments, and adding rent, utilities, and regular groceries into the mix. Fortunately I am fairly responsible and aware, but this takes my personal finance skills to a new level. More to come, I'm sure, on that front.

I'm also suddenly very aware of external forces that factor into the "living well equation". Maybe it's that I have moved into the city; maybe I'm just out of the St. Olaf bubble and getting my feet wet in the real world. Let me tell you, that water is muddy. I'm talking dirty politics; racism, classism, sexism; poverty; violence.

A few days ago I heard a tribute on the radio to the servicemen and women who have been killed in Afghanistan this year. We are also mourning the deaths of our countrymen in Libya last week, and it wouldn't be a stretch to say there's been a shooting a week since the heat hit us a couple of months back. In fact, Wilmington was recently named the most dangerous city in the nation. And this in the face of a year of infamous shootings: Trayvon Martin; Tulsa; the Aurora theater shooting; the Empire State Building; a Pathmark in a town in New Jersey where a colleague of mine grew up.

I could be angry about these killings, but my default emotion is grief. I mourn the victims, I grieve with their families and friends; but I also mourn the perpetrators. To me this endless violence indicates a thinly veiled pathology in our society, locally, nationally, globally. To me each new crime and ensuing public outcry feels desperate, defensive, hopeless. I am too shaken and too small to understand the cocktail of factors that instigate such violence, but I listen to NPR and I talk to people and I'm trying to figure out the small ways that I perpetuate the hurt of the world, and the small ways I can turn those into healing. I take weekly, sometimes daily moments of silence to mourn for my fellow human beings, to treasure the life that I still have, and to muster enough courage for a smile, small talk, maybe a hug, and enough breath to make it to the end of another (wonderfully terrifying) day.

And in the meantime, trying to live well. Whatever that means.

where did you come from, where did you go

I spent today at the Fair Hill Scottish Games watching dudes in tartan skirts play bagpipes and throw logs (theoretically) in flying arcs through the air.  More accurately, kilts and caber tossing.  And as kilts and caber tossing are outdoor activities, and it was a nearly perfect day outside, I spent today in the sun and my brain is fried.  I make bullet points about different blog topics throughout my week, and maybe I should transition my post-grad blog to a "daily thoughts on" format after the 1-year mark.  But I do enjoy reflective essays.

It didn't occur to me until we were waiting in line to pay the exorbitant entrance fee that I have Scottish blood!  Last Christmas, in fact, Granma was emptying out an old Ross steamer trunk and found a tie made of our clan tartan, which she gave to my brother, much to my dismay.  Yes, I am aware that I am not a man and therefore have little use for a tie (since Avril Lavigne slipped out of fashion) but I have a lot of use for heritage, and for the stories often couched in artifacts.

According to the "find your name" booth at the fair, the first Rosses set foot on this side of the pond in 1651 and '52.  Assuming that my Ross ancestors were not unrecognized stowaways, carriers of my blood have been shaping their corners of U.S. History for 350 years.  And now some of us continue to dip our pens in that pot--for example, the pen that inscribed "Ross" in the "middle name" slot on my brother's birth certificate.  Cool.  The clan lives on!  Although sadly it does not appear to have an active faction in the tri-state area.

I've been thinking about heritage and origin a lot since coming back from the Midwest this week, feeling myself lock into place as part of that landscape, and feeling that landscape lock into place within me...  And then being rudely ripped from that landscape, with a pair of psychological bolt cutters, and feeling disoriented upon my return to the Philly airport and to my house and my job and my life in Wilmington.  Jason said I didn't "come back" to Wilmington until Wednesday--2 days after my physical arrival.  Not coincidentally, I think, 2 days is approximately the amount of time it takes to drive (fairly comfortably) from Minneapolis to Wilmington.

Thesis: Jet planes fuck up our biological/psychological clocks.  You know how our eyes take about 45 minutes to fully adjust to darkness?  And the "twilight" part of the day lasts about 45 minutes.  (At least that's what my freshman year senior counselor told me, and I am inclined to believe it.)  There's some beautiful ecological symmetry there.

As much as I would like to dwell on ecological symmetry forever, I'm straying from the crux of the current issue.  Which is, eternally, belonging; originating; coming and going.  Pinpointing the location of my heart at any given moment.

I will probably never find complete security in this realm, and maybe that's just an occupational hazard of being human.  At some point I may also stop realizing new aspects and explanations and solutions to my rootlessness.  But I can never deny value in realizing the same thing over and over and over again: Love is a decision, and homes spring up where you invest in them.

For a second there, back in Delaware and not even able to pretend I was happy about it, I toyed with the idea of cutting all ties and heading back to Sunny V, St. Croix Falls, Wisconsin.  To the physical embodiment of my ideal life.  The place I felt most happy, most at home.

But life is not ideal.  In fact, as we have found, the most beautiful moments are bittersweet.  The most beautiful moments are the ones that mix tears and laughter, the ones that finish chords of sadness, anger, disillusionment, with a flourish of hope.

And I have to remind myself how long it takes to turn a new place, new people, into home.  And how much energy it takes on my part, how many moments of feeling certain I would, finally, once and for all, give up.  Funny enough, it is those moments that make new homes possible.  Those moments slap me in the face and tell me straight to get a grip and work out the situation at hand.

I almost give up a lot.

And those aren't moments of weakness.  They lay the foundation for the moments I look back on and say, "Thank God that happened."  They lay the foundation for moments of glory.