Wednesday, May 28, 2014

the last post: a commencement address

For the last post I thought about writing a reprise of the first post, an excuse to celebrate.

But when I went back and read it again, it was instantly clear that this, in its simplest sense, would not satisfy me. I don't know why I am surprised, but it felt less relevant. It is not what is needed now.

But it was originally written as a commencement speech. And, lo and behold, we are in the throes of commencement season. And this is a commencement of sorts...

So, given my timeless love for commencement addresses, here is my address to the Second Set of Baby Steps Class of 2014!



Let me preface this by saying that by no means do I expect us to be done walking these particular baby steps. I suspect that life comes in circles, of confidence and insecurity, of beginnings and endings, and that any of us may find ourselves retracing some steps at any point in our lives. This isn't a bad thing; there is comfort in familiarity, and we can only hope that some things get easier the second time around!

I also have few hopes of avoiding cliches in this commencement. Cliches were something I was determined to avoid the last time around, and giving advice is another. It would have been disingenuous, I thought, to presume to have any answers. Which says a lot about where I was at the time, metaphysically.

What I hoped to leave my audience with in May of 2011 was courage, and permission to enjoy the uncertain days to come. Because this is what I needed to hear. I was overwhelmed with uncertainty and the overwhelming message of the time was, "You will do great things." Not exactly the best combination, and I harbored a lot of resentment toward different people and systems and institutions because of it.


Of course we need courage and good humor now as much as ever, but there are fewer loose ends in my life now, fewer surprises, and I guess I am getting used to the long-term insecurity of being alive and maintaining my middle-class status.

I think that is an important message for graduates: life isn't fun and games, and a lot of it is out of our control. But we are the ones who choose how we approach it, which parts to focus on, which parts to accept and foster. This, I believe, is the difference between a happy person and an unhappy one, and this is where courage and good humor come in handy. And maybe faith as well. The courage to do what we need to do, to overcome hesitations and sally forth into the unknown; the good humor to rise from a particularly nasty fall, especially when everyone is watching; and the faith to believe in ourselves, in what we are doing and the paths we are on.

So here is my hope now: that no matter what happens, we will never let the world steal our souls or crush our spirits; that we never give up on happiness, on the power of good to win out, if only in small ways.

I hope we keep dreaming, and that we put work into bringing these dreams a little bit closer to fruition, even if it takes our lifetimes and our children's lifetimes to happen.

I will continue to pray for peace, in the world and in all of our hearts.

I hope we never give up on finding beauty in the world, and if it ever seems like a hopeless cause, that we set ourselves to the task of creating some.


We have to be committed to our best life, the best versions of ourselves. Nothing happens, or works, unless we choose it, stubbornly and decisively: not a successful relationship (with human, god, or animal), not a dream job, not a delicious homecooked dinner, not a single post on this blog, or its graceful finish. The things that are important, and meaningful, and worth living for - those things are not mistakes. They cannot be mistakes.


This is not happily ever after. It's not a happy ending. Life is not that clear-cut. The story doesn't end just because the narrator stops telling it (or pauses to catch her breath). It just calls on the readers for a little imagination, to bring it to life in other ways, beyond the back cover.

Please, readers, graduates, baby step-takers, President of the Board - breathe life into this life. Breathe life into the steps you take beyond this grand finale, beyond the pomp and circumstance.


I know I will.

Until we meet again...
xoxo
Clara

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, May 25, 2014

all good things: the final countdown

All Good Things started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie.

After a conversation on the phone earlier this week, we suddenly realized that Twitter is the perfect platform to carry on the blog! Don't be alarmed, if you are not on Twitter or don't understand how it works. You don't need an account to keep up with us; just go to our Twitter page whenever you want to catch up on our list, which we will update throughout the week. If you already use Twitter, follow us @10AllGoodThings and tweet your good things at us!

But for now, sit back and enjoy this final week of All Good Things on the blog!


1. Song of the week: Don't Stop Believing by Journey. A) because AGT has lasted and continues to last for so long. B) because I found my Soc/Anthro journey paper the other day and was cracking up about titling the paper after a Journey song. (Props to Tom for that awesome suggestion). - Cassie

2. Sleeping in! Melville has been waking me up at dawn for the past few months, but this weekend she's let me sleep in. You know you're living large when 7 am feels like sleeping in. However, now that I don't get to sleep past 6 very often I get to watch the sunrise almost everyday. I do enjoy more sleep, but sitting on a grassy hill watching the sunrise with a furry pup is a great start to my workday. - Cassie

3. Enjoying the little things. Most of my recent good things have been about my dog, and it's because she has made me stop to enjoy many things I take for granted. Car rides are so fun for her that they become fun for me, finding a shady spot to sit down is like winning the jackpot, and she always says hi to everyone. I'm a lot less focused on my small little world and more open to what's around me. - Cassie


4. Taking time to talk with neighbors. Now that we've moved (same neighborhood, closer to Lake Harriet) we have some nice neighbors that like to chat. I was annoyed at first because "I have things to do!" (See above). But now that I've stopped to take the time to chat with them I've realized how awesome people can be. There's Gloria who knows what's going on in everyone's lives, Larry who knows everyone by their pet's name, and Ethan the 3-year-old that likes to randomly knock on our door to say hello. - Cassie

5. Brew at the Zoo. Every Memorial Day weekend the Baltimore Zoo hosts a big beer festival, with unlimited samples from craft breweries, lots of food, and great summer music. And of course the Zoo is open so you can go see the animals. We tasted lots of awesome beers (some highlights: the jalapeno IPA from Jailbreak, Dirty Little Freak stout from DuClaw, awesome grilled cheese sandwiches, and everything from The Brewer's Art). J's friend Dae came up and met us there, and it's been awhile since we saw him so that was nice too. And the weather was perfect! - Clara


6. Fresh mint infusion. I took a sprig of mint from our plant this week and put it in a jar with a little bit of honey to make sun tea. When I took it from the fridge later in the week it was the most refreshing thing to drink, cool and fresh and almost tingly. Plus the mint sprigs looked so beautiful in the jar! - Clara

7. Sodastream. I get bored drinking plain water all the time, but we spend an extraneous amount of money on sparkling water. So when I was clearing out my email inbox this week, I noticed an awesome sale on Sodastream machines at Bed Bath & Beyond and we went out and got one. Now we can carbonate our own water, and we are excited to make homemade ginger ale and strawberry basil soda. Next on my list is to make my own tonic syrup! - Clara

8. Scrumptious. On Wednesday night as a reward for figuring out how to stream audio in a blog post, I decided I wanted froyo. So we went to a new place in Trolley Square that is super cute and had some nice frozen yogurt.

Other worthwhile eating happened this weekend at Golden West and the Red Canoe, both in Baltimore, and...

9. Grilling out. After Brew at the Zoo we went back to Lisa's to grill brats and pineapple with the gang. I totally forgot to take a picture of it, unfortunately, but it was DELICIOUS (thanks Dae and J for getting the grill going). And of course, even if it wasn't delicious, everything tastes better when you're sharing it with good friends on a holiday weekend. It was such a harmonious food prep situation too, which made it even better. - Clara

10. Bonus song of the week: Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root. I'm pretty sure this was our last song on KSTO, too. It's just such a perfect fit, and a hands-down classic feel-good jam.


* * * * * * *
THANK YOU, readers, for being with us tonight and every Sunday for the past few years. Thank you for your support and your positive energy. It has meant the world to both of us to be able to keep this up, and to have a wonderful community to share it with.

A note from Cassie: "I've been so happy to be able to add my AGTs to this blog. This list has become so important to me. I take a good half hour on Sundays picking things to write about. Some weeks it's really hard: like the week my aunt passed away. Some weeks it's easy: marrying Luke was pretty nice :) But knowing I can always find good things for the list reminds me that I can always find good things out of every situation. I'm so glad this is continuing in another form!"

The Good Things will keep rolling on Twitter @AllGoodThings, so be sure to join us there and share your happy moments and favorite songs with us there!

Also, don't forget to be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile every day :)

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

an interview about the second set of baby steps

Three or four months ago my friend Marina and I recorded an audio interview about the blog. Marina studied business and political journalism in Moscow, and hosted a radio interview show when she interned in broadcast media. When she said she wanted to think about starting a podcast, and asked if she could interview me about second set of baby steps, something stirred in me.

A flashback to the KSTO days, maybe, or to conducting interviews for research projects; a chance to collaborate on a creative project; an opportunity for some guided reflection on my blogging experience, just as I was starting to think about wrapping it up.

We got sidetracked in the middle and started talking about gender roles, and the changing experience of gender from our grandmothers' time through our mothers' to ours; because this is a relevant and ever-present element of adult life. But we got back to the blog topic at the end.

I remember driving home, feeling energized by the creativity and interactivity of the process and focused in where the blog was headed in the last few months, in how I wanted to approach it. I really believe that evening was a turning point in this project, and it started to take on a different life for me from that point forward.


So I am glad, now, at this final moment, on the second-to-last week of the second set of baby steps, to be able to share it with you. A big thanks to Marina for questioning me (constantly, off and on the air, even when I don't exactly welcome it) and for recording and editing our audio to be posted here.