Sunday, December 29, 2013

all good things: holiday sparknotes edition

Since I'm in transit tonight, and since it has been a week of widespread celebrations, I'm going to do the List a little differently. A song, a photo, a holiday, a party, and a challenge for you, readers, as we get ready for a new year this week.

Song of the week: Timber by Pitbull and Ke$ha. The pump-up anthem in the bride's room before yesterday's wedding. Also what kept me from getting motion sick during landing on the homebound flights. This short video in particular makes me smile every time.

A wedding! As you may have guessed by the mention of the bride, there was a long-anticipated wedding this weekend! The couple brought a lot of incredible people together for a few days of wonderfully intense eating, drinking, and being merry/married (har har)... And to be witness to an incredible event for two people we love with all our hearts.

Christmas! This has been a cause for celebration all over the world this week. Families gathered, shared food and gifts and quality time together, and people spread happy holiday feelings all week long! Plus, my dad played a part in a real-life modern day Christmas story this week, which I hope to share when I get back to my same-old.

...And a beautiful photo to say goodnight! Taken just before landing in Atlanta on our way home:


Thanks for tuning in this week. Share your good things and stories in the comments. Make the most of what's left of this year, make some good resolutions, do the celebration justice, and I'll see you in 2014!

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, December 22, 2013

all good things: the fourth candle

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson. Yesterday on the train I kept hearing someone singing this song and finally realized it was my sister. We all got a good laugh out of that. And then it got stuck in all our heads, and on the way back the guy next to us started whistling the song too. Contagious feel-good jams!

2. Full house! I'm not talking about the TV show right now, nor a winning hand in Poker or Yahtzee. This week is the first time since August that all four of us kids are home, and I have thoroughly enjoyed spending a lot of quality time with my crazy-awesome sibs.

3. Taking the train to Philly! Yesterday we went up to Philadelphia's Christmas Village, and instead of braving the ridiculous holiday traffic we took the SEPTA train to Center City, right from Wilmington! It was only $10 round trip, per person, and we kinda got to sleep on the way home. We will definitely be doing that again.

3. The Christmas Village. This is awesome every year: the hot spiced wine, cute artisan shops and crafts, holiday spirit... And good company! Plus, this year we ran into Jamal playing Christmas carols on his saxophone. :)


4. Holiday parties. Wednesday was our work party in Philly, which is always fun. I work with really smart, interesting people so it's good to spend some non-working time with them. And then last night was the first holiday party of the year (officially ending my birthday season) and it was a lovely gathering of lovely people, in a house that smelled like Christmas spices. We also did a girls' lunch today, and the church Christmas pageant this afternoon, and roomie Christmas tonight. The next week and a half will be full of more parties and festivities and I am so excited for it all.

5. RadioLab this afternoon. RadioLab is this psychology show on NPR on Sunday afternoons, and I nerd out to it as often as I can. Today they were talking about hero psychology, what makes people risk their lives to help other people. I was totally captivated, but I literally felt a weight off my shoulders when the guy who runs the Carnegie Hero Fund said this: "We are fortunate to be living in a society, regardless of what you might hear elsewhere, we are fortunate to be living in a society where people do look out for others, even strangers."

6. Football in the snow. Watching the Steelers play Green Bay in the snow today was somehow so magical. And it looks very cold. And it's bizarre, when it's been over 70 degrees here for the past two days...

7. The dress came just in time! My bridesmaid dress for the wedding this Saturday was snatched off my porch last month, so it had to be reordered from the style that was in stock at the designer in China. We weren't sure it was going to come in time, but it turned up on Thursday - with barely enough time to get it altered before Christmas. Phew! Crisis averted.

8. Being done Christmas shopping. J and I are pretty much done with our shopping, and done wrapping too!

To be clear, I am done wrapping. I wrapped all the gifts, because if he did it they would all be in DSW bags with no tissue paper.

9. Reading. I have been making a point of reading lately, since I got Ender's Game from the library. So far it's awesome. Also, since we finished reading Big Fish together we haven't been reading, but just yesterday J picked up the Chronicles of Narnia (a Christmas gift from last year) so we're reading that now and I think I'm enjoying it even more this time than I did the first time I read it.

10. Happy holiday encounters. This year I have so far not come face-to-face with stressed-out thoughtless people in holiday zombie mode; on the contrary, I have had one pleasant encounter after another. (Knock on wood...) I am determined to make it to the new year this way: may good cheer abound!



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Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about.

And thanks for joining us every Sunday night! Join the Baby Steps on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for good things every day, and updates on new posts. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for!

Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, December 19, 2013

a real christmas story

Last night, instead of blogging, I made a bunch of stops to hammer out my Christmas shopping. I had a list of four places to go - an ambitious goal for a weeknight. J. did offer to help, and cut it down to three stops, and I had left place #2 telling him I'd be home within a half hour. I was breezing through my last stop, the craft store, and feeling optimistic about my ETA when a man approached me, looking concerned, and asked, "You read English?"

I said I did, and he beckoned for me to follow him. "Español? Poquitito?"

"Sí," I responded.

He led me into the educational toys and books aisle and asked me to read for him the titles and features of different books. "In English. Slow." He was determined to get the perfect book to help his young daughter learn how to read - in English. Something he couldn't do.

"Your Spanish is good," he said with a smile, so I started using more Spanish words in our conversation. He told me I didn't have to translate the book descriptions, just read them. Slowly.

Gradually, though, our conversation switched almost completely to Spanish. He started asking about beads, the ones you arrange in little designs and then iron together. "What's the age limit on this?" he asked. We started exchanging vocabulary words: bucket. Cubeta.

Then he asked me to write down the names and prices of the different bead kits, so his wife could come back later and choose one. He only had fifteen dollars with him. He didn't make it to the bank before it closed.

When he had made his decision, he smiled broadly and thanked me profusely. "You should come here more often," he laughed, and told me he has been looking for a fire truck toy for his little son. I remembered the wooden fire trucks in my grandparents' house, and the elaborate toys that used to appear under our Christmas tree with my brother's name on them. My heart broke, just a little.

"Feliz navidad," he said, more than once, smiling like crazy. "Jorge," and reached out to shake my hand. "Clara." "Mucho gusto." "Mucho gusto."

"Feliz navidad to you too, and your family," I said.

He couldn't stop smiling. "And to yours as well!" And he gave me a hug, and thanked me again, and said merry Christmas one more time, and we went our separate ways.

Happy holidays to you and yours. I hope the holiday spirit touches you in some way this season.

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, December 15, 2013

all good things: winter wonderland

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey, Jimmy Fallon and the Roots. Another reader request! Thanks to you guys, All Good Things is really getting in the Christmas spirit!


2. Girls With Slingshots. My brother gave me the print Volume 2 of this web comic, hoping to get me hooked... And it worked! I blazed through the 200 strips and wish the book was so much longer. Guess I'm on to the website now...

3. Cookie baking for Christmas. My mom, grandma and I pick a Saturday before Christmas and bake all day while listening to Christmas music. It's so fun!

For me (this is Clara now) cookie baking is also becoming a great tradition: J's sister has a bunch of people over every year to bake and package a TON of cookies in cute tins. It's a great opportunity to try out new recipes and hang out with great people. This year we made over 300 cookies (not counting the ones we ate in the process), and at least 8 different kinds!


4. My (Cassie's) wedding photos just came back and I'm having the best time going through them!

5. Law & Order SVU marathons. I could probably watch them for days :)

6. Video G-chat. It's kept me in touch with some of my favorite people who are very far away. Love it!

7. Snow days. We had two big snowstorms (by Delaware standards)this week, which closed a lot of the city including my office and J's coffee shop on Tuesday! So we got to stay home, bake, make chili, watch movies, and cuddle all day.


8. Potluck. Like the good Minnesota Lutheran girl that lives somewhere inside me, I love a good potluck. We have them every now and then at work, and there are always interesting exotic dishes like authentic homemade chicken tikka, good English shepherd's pie, chili, Caesar salad, and pierogies.

9. Longwood Gardens. This has become a bit of a tradition, since my roommate goes to great lengths to get a group of us to the gardens every spring and every Christmas. It's always beautiful, peaceful, centering.


10. On Saturday morning I finally got to chat on the phone with an old friend. We've been trying to find time for a good long talk for months now. We spent two hours (give or take) on the phone just talking about everything in our lives, and it was so easy and important. She's never sounded happier, and I've never been more comfortable in my life. These are big steps for both of us, and it's so heartwarming to be able to share our lives even over a long time and great distance.

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Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about.

And thanks for joining us every Sunday night! Join the Baby Steps on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for good things every day, and updates on new posts. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for!

Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!
posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

devo: the people in my life

I was toying with the idea of taking the blog on vacation this month, but I decided to just do something simple instead. I've been really inspired by Gettysburg Seminary's advent calendar photo challenge, and Organic Faith Online's DIY advent devotionals. It's reminding me how important it is to pause for reflectipon, to put some serious intention behind thought or action.

Yesterday my mom and I had a long conversation about worry, which turned into a conversation about relationships. The turning point was when she said she's been managing her worry a little better lately, in large part due to regular Skype conversations with an old friend from high school. These conversations always end in prayer.

Speaking of intentional reflection.

To me there is something worshipful in routines like this one. Like Wednesday morning breakfast with my friend Mary, all four years of college. We get together and are present together. This is a critical part of being human, and relishing in our humanity instead of being discouraged by it. My mom mentioned this too.

As I get more familiar with my new phone, I am learning how to use Google Now, which in my opinion is an incredibly useful, somewhat creepy program with an explosive amount of potential. I could go on forever about this, probably, but the interesting part in today's context is that last night my phone gave me directions and a travel time to Marina's house, where I went last Thursday evening for movies and tea. Although there is a definite element of creepiness to this, I like that this encourages routines of getting together, eating together, laughing together, and talking about things that impact our lives.

I am feeling deeply appreciative lately for the people in my life. I have a great family and great friends all over the world, and they are doing incredible things, and have enriched my life in ways that continue to amaze me.

This is my devotional this week. Love. Be thankful. Be a part of the lives of other people, and I mean be active about it. Don't take anything for granted, and if you're ever thinking of someone, for any reason, send a message. It makes a difference.


posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, December 8, 2013

all good things: headlong into december

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Songs of the week. This week I have been remembering the mood-boosting power of loud, un-self-conscious karaoke-style singing... Or maybe "singing" in quotes would be more accurate. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays was a reader request (!) this week, so I decided to go back to the good old playlist days and kick off a feel-good lineup with this generation's favorite Christmas song :)

Incidentally, that N'SYNC hit featured heavily in the fifth grade Christmas concert at Clara S. Bacon Elementary School. Most of my friends had solos in it, and there was a lot of step-clapping on the risers.

Welcome to 1999...

2. World's End. I wasn't entirely expecting to like this movie, but I've heard from a decent number of people that it's a must-watch, and J. wanted to buy it. So we went out and got it (and beer, which we heard is necessary while watching this film) and watched it for date night this week, and I actually loved it. Really what did it for me, although it was funny and a relatable plot, was the end. Without spoiling it, I will just say that the overall message, of humans being flawed and that being ok, is something I loved.

Plus, it's about a pub crawl. I mean, come on.

3. Masamoto. My roommate took me out to this BYOB sushi place for my birthday (which took me into birthday month #2. I don't hate it). We had to cross the border into PA but it was only 15-20 minutes away - one of the perks of living in this small state. The restaurant was super cute too and the sushi was delicious, and we finished it off with a chocolate ice cream/mousse/cake ball. Good company definitely made the night, though. :)


4. Girl time. This week I spent a couple nights with my girls - sushi with Katy, holiday movie night/tea party with Marina and Watson the Scottish terrier, and Friday night in Trolley Square with Annie. It has been so refreshing, a good change of pace, to spend quality one-on-one time with a good friend and just get to talk about whatever is going on. I don't do that very much these days.

5. Taste the Holidays. Annie and I went (late, as usual) to an event at the Delaware Center for Horticulture (DCH) on Friday night. We bought drink tickets and sampled some beer, wine and spirits. The best ones were a blueberry vodka from Maine, and tonic syrup, which neither of us knew was a thing but tastes like Christmas. The guy manning the liquor table was really interesting and knowledgeable, so we spent awhile talking to him and getting samples of the blueberry vodka. We also discovered a local alpaca farm, which had really cute warm hats and gloves and ear warmers, and we spent a few minutes talking to the ladies manning that booth as well. Sometimes the two of us feel like the only hippies in Delaware, but events like this remind us that there is an underground artisan culture in the area. Also, neither of us had been to the DCH before so we took a peek around the facilities while we were there.

6. Hummingbird to Mars. After the event we headed back to the Square, parked, and buzzed in to Delaware's only speakeasy-style bar: Hummingbird to Mars. I've been hearing about this place for months (years?) now but haven't ever gone. Since we were looking for somewhere quiet to sit and talk it was perfect, and the menu (bearing only drinks) was a work of art. I didn't see any cocktails for less than $10, which is more than I normally like to pay, but for a once-in-awhile kind of thing it was a fun experience.

7. Gettysburg Seminary's Social Media Advent Calendar. I haven't seen many churches or religious groups use social media to its full potential, which is sad to me since I know how perfectly suited churches and social media are for each other. Anyway, the Lutheran Seminary at Gettysburg is taking the classic advent calendar digital this year. It's a 25-day photo challenge, where each day has a theme, and participants post a photo for each day's theme on pretty much any social network, just using the hashtag #watchandwait. It's a really cool way for somebody like me to get involved and do advent stuff.


8. The Neverending Story. I have never seen this movie before, but J, being a child of the 80s, pulled it out today and we watched it... And it is great. When the empire of Fantasia is explained as the hopes and dreams of humans, and being threatened by The Nothing, I got really excited and happy because it actually gives me hope that people were concerned about the demise of human hopes and dreams in 1984... And thirty years later we are still worried about the same thing. We haven't totally lost it yet!

9. Ginger snaps. I think this is the Official Cookie of the 2013 Holiday Season. Our project manager at work brought in a big bag of de-li-cious ginger snaps, and when those were gone we got a bunch of packages of ginger thins, and then today I found a recipe for whole wheat ginger snaps and of course they made the house smell like ginger and cloves and are crunchy and yummy as all get out.

10. Snow day! This morning we were getting all geared up to drive up to Philly and do the Christmas Village... But right at 11a.m. when we were getting dressed, it started snowing, and within 20 minutes we had an inch, and by noon we couldn't finish clearing off our cars because there was a thick layer of snow on it by the time we got all the way around... So one by one, everybody bailed and we ended up just staying at home and making cookies and watching movies. Now, those readers who live in Upstate New York or Minnesota need to understand that in Delaware we don't get snow like that. Some reports said 11.5 inches over the course of the day! It reminded me of home back in New York and the lake effect. Plus, we went out to scrape off our cars before they iced over, and the neighbor came out to shovel her walk at the same time, and we got to talking to her a little. The new neighborhood really is wonderful.

And so is snow!


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Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about.

And thanks for joining us every Sunday night! Join the Baby Steps on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for good things every day, and updates on new posts. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for!

Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

healthcare and the affordable care act

If you have been following the blog for awhile now, you might have picked up that healthcare is an area of great interest for me. (See the Wisdom Teeth Saga of 2012 for a taste.) I don't think I'm alone in this, either. In many cases, new adults like myself have been used to the college healthcare plan that includes: squeezing all our doctors' appointments into Christmas break; mediocre campus health services; or perpetually self-medicating.

And now things are a little different. We make our own doctors' appointments. I, for one, am eternally grateful that I am now covered by my dad's insurance coverage until I'm 26, and I can say even more confidently that I'm not alone in that! A few of my classmates and friends have been faced unexpectedly with bigger medical issues: traffic accidents, surgeries, food poisoning, and even cancer.

I know that, at least in my circles, a cheer went up when Obama won the presidential election in 2008, and again when the Affordable Care Act (ACA) passed. Affordable healthcare options are a weight off our shoulders, once we've seen our monthly student loan payments, the discouraging job market, plus the cost of a data plan/rent/gas/car insurance (which we need to be able to drive our cars to work).

But this is all theoretical, right? October 1 is now infamous for the launch of Healthcare.gov, which more or less collapsed under the apparently colossal demand. Perhaps that demand in itself testifies to the importance of accessible healthcare options. And now, the December 15 enrollment deadline is rapidly approaching. I thought it was high time I address this topic.

Now, I have gone out of my way to learn about this Obamacare business. I have been collecting intel on it for months. In the summer and early fall, there was a lot of talk about healthcare and insurance marketing to millennials. (My take? Stop messing around and be real with us. We've got an eye for real value. Just tell me: what am I getting out of this? It'd better be good!) Then, after October 1, and after the government shutdown fiasco blew over, it was all about the broken website. There has been a disturbing undercurrent of what I can only see as propaganda, trying to convince young people in particular to defy Big Brother and forgo coverage. And now everybody's in a panic, because we don't really know what's going on, but we know it's important and it probably impacts us in a big way.

So I tried to talk to a bunch of people to get a feel for the personal experiences of the ACA an the changes to the healthcare system. I didn't get to talk to any newly married couples, but I will say that most of us who are under the age of 26 are just sticking with our parents' plans until we can't anymore. My lucky 30-ish friends who already have jobs with benefits are set, and their spouses are also OK. Some of them are batting around the idea of fast-tracking their upcoming marriages to get uninsured spouses covered before 2014. I also have friends who have switched jobs in the past year, with benefits being a major motivating factor. There are a few who don't have insurance at all, don't have a way to get it, and simply can't afford the monthly premiums. That is a real thing, and a problem.



I work for a small company, which hired an insurance consultant to discuss our needs and options with each of us individually. This guy told me about the bronze, silver, gold, and platinum level plans, how much each of them costs, my deductible for each and what's covered under every level. He said the factors that influence the cost are my zip code, my birthdate, and whether or not I smoke. So, my coworkers who live in a different state will have different options. I will tell you that the plans ranged in price from $190 to $330 a month.

I balked at this. To be honest, I just don't have that kind of money left over in my monthly budget. That would eat up my emergency fund - the dollars that would cover healthcare expenses up to my deductible amount, for example. Even splitting that cost with my employer, I would be hard-pressed to keep those payments coming for a sustained period of time.

Now, don't get me wrong; I completely buy into this system. I count it as a victory that people with pre-existing conditions, poor people, and single-parent families now have a shot at being insured, and I would chip in for that in a heartbeat - if I could. For now I am heaving a sigh of relief that my dad's plan will still cover me at no extra cost to him or to his employers. (For the record, this is something I'm not clear about: the healthcare advisor said that under a family plan, each additional member costs extra; but most of the people I talked to said it makes no difference for their family how many people are on the plan. There's a premium and a deductible for a family, no matter how many members are covered by the plan. For this reason, most of my peers are staying on our parents' plans as long as we can.)

It's not a perfect solution, by any means. I have heard time and time again that the success of this new system depends on the buy-in of 20-somethings, and this could be a problem. Because we feel invincible (not me, definitely, but that's the stereotype). Because we are in many cases unemployed, or in the Peace Corps. Because we just can't afford it. Because we don't understand it and how it works, and we don't understand how to look for the information we need.

(FYI, in Delaware, there is a service called Choose Health Delaware created to help people navigate the system. I have no testimonials on whether or not it works, but they're marketing it pretty hard.)


It's not a perfect solution, but it is an answer to a very real problem. The healthcare and public health situation in this country is horribly broken, and we're paying for it as a nation - financially, culturally, emotionally. It has very serious side effects on our economy, and more importantly, on our national psyche.

I have been encouraging my peers to participate in the exchanges, if they can. I have been encouraging them to seek out information. I have been asking questions and trying to understand the strengths and weaknesses of this new system. I believe we need this, as a nation, whether it works or not. Our public health system is sorely lacking in comparison to that of other developed nations, in most areas except one: spending. That should be enough to grab our attention.

I strongly believe that this is a step in the right direction. Our healthcare system is a mammoth monster and it will take time and probably many stumbles for us to overcome it and find a system that works. I quote a friend of mine who is working on a master degree in social work:

"This very imperfect system (The ACA) is a step toward really really important universal coverage. Because the UN and lots of people view universal healthcare as a human right, I think the ACA is an important step forward. I think the Obama admin. (despite handling things like the website horribly) is really trying to offset costs for young people but the insurance reality remains that healthy people subsidize sick people and young people are overall healthy."

All this being said, readers, if you're still with me - I urge you not to give up. Do not be discouraged. Keep thinking critically, as we were raised and educated to do, about the problem that faces our country and the bodies that constitute it, the bodies both healthy and ill. Let's be constructive and creative, and while we do what we must do for the time being, take note of what works and what doesn't, and what we need to be better and stronger and healthier as a nation. It's not impossible. We just don't know how to do it yet.

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Readers, I'm still curious. I know I still have a lot to learn about our healthcare system and the changes that are taking place. What are your thoughts and experiences with all of this? Share them with me in the comments.

And thanks for reading!

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, December 1, 2013

all good things: whelmed.

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: Christmas is All Around by Billy Mack/Bill Nighy. The first scene of one of my all-time favorite movies and hands-down my favorite holiday movie, Love Actually, catchy, terrible/great, now classic. I feel it in my fangers...

2. The Happy Light. J got me a set of full-spectrum mood-boosting lights for my birthday, so I've been trying them out and so far I do think they are making a difference!

3. Days off. I am very grateful that I had a few days off this week after moving to get the house in order. It will cut back on stress when I have to go back to work next week.

4. Holiday movies. 'Tis the season! I have watched Love Actually and Rent so far. Next up: The Holiday. What is your favorite holiday movie? Tell me in the comments and maybe it'll make a future Good Things list!

5. Deep breaths. Lately I have been feeling more anxious than usual and last night I couldn't get to sleep! I remembered how at peace I feel at the end of yoga or BodyFlow when we just lie there on our backs breathing deeply, feeling like I'm melting into the floor. So I tried to call that feeling to my bed by taking some serious inhales and exhales, and I actually smiled because it made such a difference!

6. Decorating! We aren't totally unpacked yet, but I have been switching between putting practical things in their place and putting pretty things in their place, like on the walls or in frames... And of course, Christmas lights! I also spent some time today working on a piece of wall art I started last year, and I really needed that catharsis. This is what really makes it feel like home.

7. Frozen. My family has this tradition of going to see an animated movie matinee for everyone's birthday, and there are almost always good movies out for mine because of Thanksgiving weekend. The first theater we went to was sold out! But I bought tickets from my phone on the way to the second theater, and we actually got six seats together, and the movie was pretty great! The snow and ice animation was excellent, and the twist on "an act of true love" was five-star.

Plus, there was a snowman named Olaf (um ya ya!)

8. My family. Speaking of my family, they really deserve a special shout-out this week.

First, because we have awesome traditions - but we don't get anxious about them.

Second, because I consulted my dad and brother on a box spring/bed frame problem we encountered while moving into the new house (a queen-sized box spring doesn't fit up the stairs), and they went to work building a modular bed frame with built-in storage units, that will be easy to move and will make it through any doorway and staircase.

Third, because my mom got two separate birthday cakes on two different days, and they completely enabled me to finish off my Birthday Month with a bang.

I'll include J's family in this too, if you'll bear with me, for all their help and moral support in our moving process - and a housewarming gift of lasagna from J's future sister-in-law, which has fed us all week, along with other leftovers that grace our fridge and our lunchboxes on a regular basis.

We are very, very lucky.

9. Cars. J went to start his car on Thanksgiving and it wouldn't start. So I drove him to work on Friday, he borrowed my car on Saturday, and then we went out and got a new battery to replace the old one. The car is now running just fine!

So the good things here are: having backup, being handy, and good luck that it wasn't something more complicated or expensive. And it really has made both if us grateful every time our cars start without a problem!

10. Thanksgiving! No, I didn't forget! Thanksgiving is a great and important holiday, because food is great and important, and good food even more so; and because our society desperately needs to focus on spending time with family, and upholding our nuclear traditions, more and more every year; and because we can always use a reminder to give thanks, to say thanks, to be thankful!

Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about.

And thanks for joining us every Sunday night! Join the Baby Steps on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for good things every day, and updates on new posts. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for!

Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

baby steps: the home edition

Since last week, I have officially given up on reaching 50,000 words. But I crossed the 20,000 threshold goal I set for myself, and I'm happy with that.

Today is the end of my short work week, which is good because I don't know if I would make it through the week. There is too much in November. Monday was my birthday and, as J. said to me, I managed to make it my birthday month.

Besides, this week we moved to a new house in a new neighborhood. And I have learned, in the process, that "living together" and "moving together" are two totally different things. But so far, things seem to be going smoothly.

As smoothly as they can, anyway. I have also learned that there never seems to be that much stuff until you try to move it. Then you find out real quick how much stuff you really have.

And a house seems clean until it's empty and you go to clean it. Then you find the dirt and the leftover cat hair and the grime on the walls.

But bit by bit we are chipping away at it. The old house is getting cleaner and emptier, even though the power is out and the days are dark, and it's really hard to clean by the grey evening light of winter. And the new house gets a little more organized every day, even if I have to get up really early to make sure it happens. Sooner or later, it will turn into home.


posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, November 24, 2013

all good things: people who make weeks beautiful

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: Knock Knock by Mac Miller. J&J (the twins) were stunning this song after we dropped off the Uhaul truck today and it got stuck in our heads. It's really catchy and the video is funny and actually kind of beautifully done.

2. Car wash. It was getting really sad how dirty my car was. I've been driving past the Greenhill Car Wash on my way home from work for over a year now, but haven't got up the guts (or the $8) to try it out. Finally yesterday on my way home from work I decided I couldn't put it off any longer... And it was kind of relaxing, actually, sitting inside my car, hands off the wheel, foot off the brake, surrounded by gigantic soapy brushes. And now my car is so clean!

3. Bokwa. My roommate and I tried out this new dance fitness class at the Y on Saturday. It has a series of steps in the shapes of different letters, and a lot of room for personalization. Plus, I couldn't help smiling by the end of class. I will be trying that again.

4. Having friends you can laugh with. This one pretty much speaks for itself. To me, this is a sign of good solid friendships.

5. Humidifier. We started running the humidifier in our room while we sleep and every since I've been breathing much better. Coincidence? I think not!

6. Emails from my grandparents. They live in California and we're not in super close touch... But whenever they email me it's always good, and makes new really happy. This week it was a birthday email which is double good.

7. Eating when you're super hungry and tired. You know the feeling. Yummm. Plus, a few people made food for us this week so we don't have to worry about cooking when all our kitchen supplies are boxed up somewhere.

8. Clean sheets. I probably enjoy this a lot less often than I should, but maybe that makes it all the more satisfying...?

9. J. and I had to go get the flu and Tdap shots this week so we could kiss the baby, and if course it cost almost $100 for each of us to get both shots. J. doesn't have insurance and mine only covers Walgreens in South Dakota and Wisconsin for some reason, so the pharma tech went to great lengths to find us a discount or make my insurance cover some of it. We ended up getting a few dollars off, and especially right now while we're moving every little bit counts. It just meant a lot for a person to make such an effort to help somebody else, even someone he had never seen before and may never see again.


10. Feeling at home. Today my two roommates and I had a bunch of friends over and moved all our stuff (almost) to a new house in a new neighborhood. And already I feel more comfortable and happy here. :)

We had a good crew of helpers today, which made the whole project that much easier and more bearable.

Thanks everyone for making this week beautiful!


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Thanks for joining us this Sunday night! Stick with the Baby Steps on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for updates on new posts and other stuff about new adulthood. Come back next Sunday night for a reminder of 10 good things that haven't happened yet, and on Wednesday night for a more in-depth reflection on post-grad life. Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

oversleeping, and baby steps

Mid-November has come and gone. It's cold, and the holiday season is approaching. I've been sick for going on two months now, things are pretty crazy at work, I'm moving this week, and I haven't done any of my Christmas shopping which I vowed to get done before Thanksgiving. I think it's safe to say that's not going to happen.

It's funny, though, that two and a half years after graduating college, this is the summary of my life. I'm feeling more and more settled into this groove, and to be honest I like it. I have a lot more leftover emotional energy than I had at other points in my life, enough to keep in closer touch with old friends, for example. (Snapchat doesn't hurt, though, I'll tell you that.)

This week, though, I'm resisting the early wake-up. I do love starting the day with yoga, or with 1500 words, but my body just is not having it this week. On Sunday night, I checked my alarm for Monday morning and somehow completely failed to register that I didn't have one set. Predictably, then, I overslept, and missed yoga.

Monday night I double-checked my alarm, but come Tuesday I slept through it. Same this morning. And I haven't even been going to bed past ten o'clock!

The great thing about this is: I don't even care! At other points in my life, even other months this year, I would have been thrown off, anxious, certain that the odd start to the day set the tone for the rest of it. This week, I'm like, "I hear you, body. Thanks for laying down the law."

There are certain things not worth worrying about: things outside my control, and things that have already happened.

Except to the extent that they can inform my future actions and responses.

Does the same thing apply to NaNoWriMo? I've pretty much fallen off the horse and my novel is listing in the doldrums. I'm a little more anxious about how far behind I am on my word count, and how many days this week I haven't written, and how many of my writing days only produced a couple hundred words.

But I'm proud of how far I've come, and I have a good base. A better base than I've ever had for a novel. And I've learned a ton about how to approach the project, and prepare for it, nexth time I tackle WriMo. Yes, there will be a next time!

Baby steps, friends. I'm living it.



I want to hear from you. What are the baby steps you find yourself taking, readers? What are you struggling with? What are your victories? What do you want to know more about? What do you want to read about?

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, November 17, 2013

all good things: so much love in this room

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: Let's Go Crazy by Prince. Prince featured heavily in this weekend's adventures, and this song seems particularly fitting. The best video I found was actually Janelle Monae's convincing cover, which is great because her song Tightrope was a close second this weekend thanks to my favorite movie: Friends With Benefits.

2. What Would I Say? Suddenly on Wednesday this was my Facebook news feed and it was wonderful. Normally I don't like Facebook apps but this one is worth it. SO worth it.

3. Twelve Years a Slave. I saw it yesterday afternoon and was really impressed at how well they adapted the movie from the book. Super powerful

4. Getting to the washer and dryer in my apartment in the morning on Sunday before anyone else. I always feel super triumphant!

5. I went to a going away party for my friend Megan this weekend. She's going to China for a year! I love going away parties because I get to see so many friends at once.

6. BJ's. A lot of people may not have heard of this, but it's pretty much the same thing as CostCo and it's awesome. I hosted a birthday shindig this weekend, which literally lasted all weekend, and we were able to feed a lot of people food and beer so cheaply. Plus, we are now well-stocked on frozen pizzas and corndogs and beer.

7. Networking. I know you are confused by this, since I recently wrote a post about what I dislike about networking, but I went to an event on Wednesday morning that was so energizing. I met a lot of smart, interesting, successful people and spent the rest of the workweek feeling super inspired.

8. Getting things done. Thanks in part to that inspiration, the second half of this week was so productive both on a personal and professional level. At work I checked so many things off my list, and I also forced myself to get around to things at home that I've been putting off for eons. It's a weight off my shoulders.

9. You know you are a nerd when you and a bunch of your friends sit down and start drinking beer and it devolves into doing imitations of NPR personalities, and it seems like the funniest game you have ever come up with. Seriously though, it was hilarious and it's all I wanted to do all night.

10. Being in a room with a lot of people I love. Like I said, this weekend I hosted people at my house, and this is one thing that never fails to make me happy: having great people around me and hearing constant laughter and good conversation.


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Thanks for joining us this Sunday night! Stick with the Baby Steps on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for updates on new posts and other stuff about new adulthood. Come back next Sunday night for a reminder of 10 good things that haven't happened yet, and on Wednesday night for a more in-depth reflection on post-grad life. Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

november again

November is National Novel Writing Month. I am probably almost 10,000 words behind where I "should" be at this point in the month (out of 50,000) but I'm pretty proud of how much I've done to date. Especially given the fact that I am writing on a bluetooth keyboard and an S3 screen, and the sheer volume of other activities that take up my time. I am not a career writer. This is my crutch and also my salvation.

I am writing a story that's been brewing for over two years now. I failed miserably to get any good writing done the past two Novembers... As in, on day one I gave up. So it is good to see these characters come to life, and good to see some substance forming.

But it is also another checkbox on my daily to-do list, another hour to squeeze out of the already overbooked days, another obligation to feel guilty about.

I got an email from the friend who introduced me to NaNoWriMo back in high school, and he said to give myself a break. "Write 30 words a day if they're good, and 30 words the next day and the next, and count it as an accomplishment," he wrote. And if my guilt outweighed my satisfaction with what I've written, I would cut back. But so far, the 1700-words-a-day goal is just the fire I need to keep it up.

November is also Delaware's Grief Awareness Month. Back in college, when I took Mike Leming's Death, Dying and Bereavement Sociology course, I briefly considered grief therapy as a career. Call me crazy, but I'm nerding out hard on grief awareness this month! I am fascinated by common human experiences: being born and loving and eating and sleeping and being grown up and getting old and dying and grieving. And I think on some level I am convinced that if we as people could focus on those things, we would see eye to eye a lot more often.

But grief, I think, deserves a spotlight of its own. Grief is so important and is also one of those taboo topics. It is seen as weakness, sometimes, and is perpetually misunderstood. And if not properly recognized, grief can be a deep dark hole that just gets deeper and darker and more and more isolating and can sometimes turn into depression.

So Grief Awareness Month is an important thing.

November is also my birthday month. I have always treasured it fiercely for that reason, and because November, not unlike grief, is perpetually misunderstood and underappreciated. It may be sometimes gloomy but it is full of potential and kinetic energy, with Daylight Savings and often the first snow and sometimes the first Sunday of Advent.

I do not think that I am a waste of a Thanksgiving baby. I feel strongly that the mixed blessing of being born around the holidays, and particularly a holiday named for gratefulness, has instilled in me a heightened sense of appreciation for the gifts I do have, and a desire to share them.

...Most of them. Except whiskey, apparently. And sweet fried plantains.

November is also complicated, as the month that starts to weigh heavy on my mood. I don't like cold and dark. I am starting to lose momentum more quickly, and find it harder to pick it up again. I am making a concerted effort to seek out things that energize me: stepping up my game at work, 1700 words a day, creating a living space that makes me happy, reading good books and learning new things and meeting new people and nerding out.

What do you think about November, readers? What makes it important and what does it signify to you? Maybe I'll write about that someday.


posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, November 10, 2013

all good things: i wanna dance with somebody who loves me

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston. Last night we went to a Korean karaoke place in Alexandria, and had an all-out a cappella jam session to this song in the way there to ramp ourselves up for karaoke. Unfortunately, we had pretty well lost our voices by the time we got there. Plus the video is awesome.

2. Cleaning the closet! Luke and I cleaned our closet today and gave tons of stuff to Goodwill. Not only is it great to have less material things that I don't use, it's great to know someone else will now get to use them!

3. Mom/Daughter dates. My mom came over to have dinner with me, and we hung out for a few hours just talking. A good gab sesh with my mom is really nice sometimes!

4. I picked up Luke from the airport this week and was reminded of the movie Love Actually. People are so genuinely happy to see their loved ones again, and I was no exception :)

5. Woodwick candles are my favorite new household item. I got one for my wedding and am in love with the awesome sound they make!

6. Amy Grant Christmas music!! I never do anything Christmas-y until December. BUT, I always start listening to AG Christmas albums after the first snowfall. Lucky for me that happened this week. Yes!!

7. Conversation starters. I took my Bluetooth keyboard to the Y on Thursday to crank out a few hundred words before class, and two separate people asked me about it. Apparently my typing issues are not unique, and provide plenty of fodder for conversation.

8. Quiddler. My parents had houseguests this week, friends and former coworkers from Woodstock. After our customary rounds of Bananagrams, they brought out a new game we hadn't played before, called Quiddler, which involves spelling but a little less focus. We all enjoyed doing something new, and it was a great new thing to do too!

9. Wilmington Beer Week. Beer week is great, because all these great craft breweries get featured at all these great local restaurants, with featured menus, and I happen to love food, beer, and local restaurants. The only problem with beer week is it's not cheap. So we chose one for the week and went with it. On Wednesday J. and I went to Dead Presidents and got their featured five course meal with 4-ounce beer pairings from Goose Island. De-li-cious.

10. Tea parties. This weekend was Mary's bridal shower in Alexandria, so I drove down on Saturday and picked up Lisa in Baltimore on my way. I always forget how great it is being around people you've been friends with for a long time, even though I know I miss it constantly. The shower was great, with elegant tea cups and saucers from Salvation Army and a great spread of cookies and tarts, put together by Ellen. And then the tea party evolved into dinner, with lots of good people and lots of wine, and a makeshift version of Loaded Questions, and karaoke in a private room at a Korean bar, which is actually not that different from our normal lives together, which involves a lot of constant singing. One of the great things about Oles. And in general, SO good to be with good friends.



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Thanks for joining us this Sunday night! Stick with the Baby Steps on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for updates on new posts and other stuff about new adulthood. Come back next Sunday night for a reminder of 10 good things that haven't happened yet, and on Wednesday night for a more in-depth reflection on post-grad life. Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile.

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, November 3, 2013

all good things: crazy life, crazy love

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: Crazy Love by Paul Simon. I woke up with this song stuck in my head almost every day this week. It's catchy and makes me feel like I can stand up to all challenges, while staying positive.

2. NaNoWriMo. November is National Novel Writing Month and I am determined to finish it this year... Despite "trying" to do it for years and years now, starting as far back as high school. I'm already farther along than I have ever been. I haven't written yet today but as of yesterday I have a solid head start. And it's still fun!

3. Kitties! My parents spent Friday night and Saturday at the beach, so I went over Saturday to feed and cuddle the kitties. I looooove them.

5. Homemade bread. Apparently J. is famous for his bread, but after almost two years I still hadn't tasted it. This week, though, I came home to a hot loaf of crusty garlic herb bread and it's all I wanted to eat all week. Plus it made the house smell toasty and yeasty and herby.

6. Yesterday was my good friend's birthday, which meant we got to eat pizza and cake and go bowling with her and her husband and family. We bought two hours of bowling for six people, which turned out to be too long to bowl; so after two games we still had almost a half hour left and decided to just do silly throws out of turn to try and "play" as much of a game as possible. Then she and her husband and J. and I just sat around 'til ALL hours of the night talking and playing card games. It's good to have good friends, and to celebrate them.

...And speaking of celebrating good friends, Cassie has rejoined the list after taking some time off to get married! So I'm pumped about that.

7. My friend Emily moved in to an apartment building only 5 minutes from me! I'm really happy we'll get to see each other more often.

8. Making dinner with friends. I love chatting while chopping and eating!

9. Bringing back an old school one: Grandmas!! My Grammy (as I call her :) ) came over yesterday to spend some time with us and brought a homemade apple pie. I'm spoiled!

10. Squash soup. One of my favorite parts of fall!



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Thanks for joining us this Sunday night! Stick with me on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for updates on new posts and other stuff about new adulthood. Come back next Sunday night for a reminder of 10 good things that haven't happened yet, and on Wednesday night for a more in-depth reflection on post-grad life. Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

7 ways to get ahead of the sad

The days are getting shorter, colder, and darker, and maybe that explains why the other day I caught myself in a semi-perpetual state of irritation. This happens every year and I like to think that every year I get better at coping. A list of ways to get ahead of the SAD season seems like an appropriate post for today.

1. Cry intentionally about things that don't matter. This may sound counterintuitive, but hear me out. The other day I sat down to finish The Five People You Meet In Heaven (destined to have some sad parts in it) and ended up crying pretty much straight through the last two chapters. It was beautiful. And I felt so much better afterward! Lighter. Of course, it helped that the message of the book was not a depressing one. It was about love and human connection. Which is something worth crying about, if you ask me.

2. Find something to smile about. I don't mean just smile, but think of something that legitimately makes you happy. There is an urban legend that simply smiling is a mood booster, but I recently read a study showing that smiling for a reason is much more effective at bringing you closer to true happiness. Besides, we've all seen Peter Pan, right?

3. Indulge your guilty pleasures - just a little bit. This could be anything: romance novels, Miley Cyrus, chocolate... Enjoy something you really enjoy, guilt-free. Not to the point that it makes you feel gross, but just enough now and then to make you smile.

4. Exercise. This is a pretty common one, but I can't stress enough how much it actually does help. Get into a routine. Find a class that makes you feel good. Of course I recommend BodyCombat, if you find yourself often frustrated; or Zumba - "ditch the workout and party!" Set goals for yourself, especially if they're small, because achieving something always makes you feel good. And once you add in the natural endorphins and carving out time to do something you like, that's a triple boost.

5. Get out your slippers! They'd better be soft! Line up your fuzzy slippers, robe, hoodie, flannel and fleece! (I should have added Snuggies to the guilty pleasures list!) Get out your warm things. Wear whatever make you feel cozy, fabrics you like to feel next to your skin. Get out your baby blankets and Grandma afghans and gigantic comforters and fleece throws. You can't let your body be cold if you want to keep your mind and your heart warm.

6. Take alone time. Don't let yourself be afraid of being by yourself. You need to have time to breathe. That being said, fresh air doesn't hurt either. Take a solo stroll, or a drive, maybe. I went grocery shopping by myself the other day and it felt ridiculously liberating. Read a book. Have a cup of tea. Write letters. Plug in your headphones on the treadmill. Or just take a nap. But set a timer; don't let yourself get into that place where the sun goes down and suddenly you look around and realize you're all by your lonesome. It starts to feel real dark right about then.

And that brings me to...

7. Make dates. Make sure you look somebody in the eye, give a hug, exchange pleasantries or have a good conversation, at least once a day. Make plans to visit someone who lives a little father away. We need human connections to get by, and making dates gives you something to look forward to. I guess I should also add that it's crucial to be around people who lift you up, make you laugh, make you feel good about yourself and about the world. No room for Debbie Downers and Negative Nancys and Pessimistic Pollys this time of year. Pollyannas might not be the best thing either, actually. The best thing is someone who knows you and accepts all your sides, dark and light, and understands your world.

It takes a lot of effort for me to stay positive year-round, and I know I'm not the only one. I get scared and anxious and I get scared and anxious about being scared and anxious. But I'm figuring out what I can do to make it better, smoother, no matter what month it is, no matter how many hours of daylight turn my face to the sky.

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, October 27, 2013

all good things: gold-gilded days

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

There are almost too many good things to count this week. I had a hard time choosing list items. But that's good, right?

1. Song of the week: Counting Stars by One Republic. My sister posted this song on Facebook earlier this week and it's been in and out of my head ever since. Plus, the video is beautiful and gives me the chills.

2. When worlds collide. After Monday morning power yoga, one of the regulars looked at my St. Olaf T-shirt and said with a knowing grin, "Minnesota, eh?" It took me so off guard that I accidentally yelled, "You know it!?" Way too loud and excited for the end of a yoga class. Also I wasn't quite sure even at the time whether it was a question or a cheer...

3. Leftovers (Mom cooking). I am a fine cook, but I think we all know there is nothing like a good dinner cooked by our moms and then packed up and sent home for leftover lunches.

4. Delaware, Small Blunder... Wonder! Small Wonder. This is one of J.'s and his dad's favorite jokes. Somehow it never gets old. There are plenty of jokes about Delaware. Among them, the One Degree of Separation. I went to a networking event this week hosted by the county's top radio stations - immediately ran into someone I knew, and heard a lot of familiar names throughout the night. It's a small state and I actually like that.

5. Surprises. My dad made cinnamon rolls on Monday night and forgot to send them home with me; so my mom dropped off a tupperware full of them on my porch for me to find when I got home from work.

6. Swype. I don't know how I've missed this 'til now, but I discovered a feature on my smartphone where I can just drag my finger around the keyboard and it automatically spells words for me. It's like a super-modern T9. Makes typing very speedy. I am obsessed.

7. The Five People You Meet In Heaven. Another book from Mitch Albom, the author of Tuesdays With Morrie. It is a quick read, or would be, if I used my free moments for reading. I polished it off this weekend, with no shortage of tears, but it is beautiful and inspiring and makes you think about your life, but not too hard. I love that Mitch Albom went from being a sports writer to easily the most recognized writer about life and death in the United States. A topic of endless fascination to me.

8. Bonfires. A bunch of us gathered in my parents' backyard on Friday night for a bonfire. Aside from the fact that I inadvertently told three separate people to bring hot dogs and rolls (we had probably a few hundred for less than 15 people), it was a lovely evening. The weather was crisp and cold, the fire was warm, the cider was spicy,

9. Dressing up. Last night was the Halloween Loop, easily one of Wilmington's most renowned events of the year. It's basically a pub crawl, at least in theory - as it turns out the best way to hit it is to go out early, pick a place and stay there. People get pretty creative with costumes. We had a bunch of people over beforehand, and some of us went all out with our costumes. We made a fun group, and there were plenty of wild and wicked costumes out in the bars and the streets to keep my eyes occupied.

10. Fall weather. I love fall, and this week has been the epitome of what's great about it. All golden slanting sunlight bouncing off golden leaves in the trees and falling from them; those crisp mornings, hot in the middle of the day but with a breeze; smells like fall in the afternoon and like winter at night. Gorgeous. I just want to walk everywhere.

I may be cheating, but I also want to say a quick congratulations to J.'s brother and his fiancee, who got engaged recently! We have been celebrating them lately, so I felt like now was the time to shout out on the blog. So much love in the air!

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Thanks for joining us this Sunday night! Stick with me on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for updates on new posts and other stuff about new adulthood. Come back next Sunday night for a reminder of 10 good things that haven't happened yet, and on Wednesday night for a more in-depth reflection on post-grad life. Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile.



posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

hashtag remember the sabbath

There are suddenly so many things to write about. I am feeling a constant creative surge lately that distracts me from my own comings and goings and makes me restless. I guess the feeling is perfectly timed because this year I'm really going to try National Novel Writing Month and will need plenty of creative energy to crank out 1700 words a day through the month of November.

I get notifications every day from this Facebook group called Organic Faith Online, which is run by an old friend of mine. I typically don't get deeply involved in the group, since its offline community operates out of the Buffalo, NY, area, but this week's theme is Sabbath, which happens to be an area of great interest and ongoing turmoil for me.

And, given my current state of mind, I thought it wouldn't be a bad topic for a blog post. Rest is an incredibly important but underdiscussed issue in our society, and particularly for new adults.

Sabbath is God's day of rest in the Biblical Creation story, the seventh day after creating the world and everything in it. Historically Judeo-Christian belief systems have kept the Sabbath in tribute to this (and because it's in the 10 commandments - good luck getting out of that one).

But for a girl who grew up in a strong Lutheran household in suburban America, Sabbath was confusing. We didn't go shopping on Sundays. For the longest time I wasn't allowed to go the mall with my friends on Sundays. We didn't go out after church, most weeks. Saturday was the day for chores, because we tried not to do anything resembling work on Sunday. And even that was weird to me, too, because church was my dad's job and he always had to work on Sunday... So didn't that sort of defeat the purpose of the "Sabbath"?

(Of course half the stories in the Gospels are about Jesus healing on the Sabbath and everyone getting all hung up about it, and Jesus saying, "Y'all are really missing the point." But I was 10. I hadn't put that together yet. I guess God's work is exempt...)

The thing that really got me was when I said I didn't have anything to do instead and my parents said, "We need time to Just Be." In my head it was always capitalized and italicized.

And it still is, to this day. I eventually (if somewhat reluctantly) found an appreciation for a Day of Rest, and for Just Be-ing. In college I assigned myself one day of the week where I would not do homework, and wouldn't feel guilty about it either. And on Sunday nights Cass and I ran the All Good Things radio show (now a blog feature) which forced me to put on a zen voice for my listeners. The zen voice is surprisingly convincing, even to myself.

After college, when I was living in St. Croix Falls with Ann, our only day off together was Sunday. We ran most of our errands on our separate days off, but Sunday was the day we didn't have to wake up or get dressed if we didn't want to (which we usually didn't). It usually involved some kind of elaborate ritual of making and eating brunch, usually involved romping around outside or biking around town, reading in our hammocks and experimenting with mixed drinks. We talked about trying to go to church in town at some point, but never made it. Considering ourselves complete and unsalvageable heathens, we joked about "remembering the Sabbath" in our own non-religious ways.

I've become a lot more serious over the two years since then, in some ways I like and some ways I'm less excited about. #RemembertheSabbath has become a saving grace to me as I worry about money, about time, about becoming too immersed in the daily grind, about losing my conscience, my creativity, my ability to appreciate simplicity. (I worry a lot.) The hashtag keeps me centered now.



And I realize the importance of rest, and of simply having a moment to enjoy something. Now I get what my parents were talking about when they said we needed time to Just Be. Now I realize what we as a culture have lost by turning Sunday - half of our too-short weekend and our last hurrah before returning to the work week - into a day for running errands and shopping and hanging out at the mall. I guess football kind of takes back Sunday... depending on how angry your buddies get when the game turns sour.

It doesn't have to be Sunday, either. This is what I drew from the discussion on Organic Faith: we can find moments of Sabbath in each day. I'm taking one now. The Blog (usually) centers me and gives me an outlet to process the days that move too fast otherwise.

How do you #RemembertheSabbath, readers? Or do you at all?

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, October 20, 2013

all good things: brave little toaster oven

All Good Things is a weekly feature on the blog. It started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Sit back and enjoy!

1. Song of the week: The Twist by Chubby Checker. Went out with some friends this weekend (which I rarely do) and checked out the relatively new Jameson Whiskey Bar at Kelly's (the new upstairs venue at Kelly's Logan House in Trolley Square). They had a fun band playing and I finished out the night twisting like nothing else existed. Because it's important to let go every now and then and dance like nothing else exists.

2. Constant Comment. Constant Comment is a classic. Lately it's been the only tea I want to drink. It's warm with the perfect amount of spice for fall.

3. "WE STILL DEVELOP 35MM FILM." Every morning on my way to work I drive past Walgreen's, which has a huge digital sign out front about developing film that for some reason strikes me as hilarious.

4. Ciao. On Friday J. and I went for a walk/run in the park and afterward strolled around Trolley Square looking for houses for rent. We didn't find any rental signs, but we did walk past this tiny, acute-triangle-shaped pizza joint that inspired us to get slices. It was some of the best pizza I've had in awhile.

5. Much Ado About Nothing. We got Joss Whedon's latest from RedBox, mostly because Nathan Fillion is in it, but I don't always have super high expectations for film adaptations of Shakespeare. But I was pleasantly surprised at the whole thing. I had read that Whedon took the whole script as-is, only adding one scene at the very beginning that of course changed the entire tone of the plot... but I didn't hate it. It actually added an interesting spin. I didn't like the black-and-white at first, but by the end it had grown on me. Amy Acker was excellently cast as Beatrice, plus some other members of the Whedon universe. Overall I thought it was pretty great.

6. Toaster ovens. I can confidently name this as the most genius appliance ever invented. You can make toast in it, heat leftovers, bake frozen pizza, keep stuff warm, and make food from scratch (quesadillas, baked potatoes, and fish, to name a few). Just fantastic.

7. One of my Really Important People got married this weekend. I wasn't able to make it, unfortunately; but it's particularly cool because this marriage wouldn't have been legal this time last year. Thanks to Minnesota, the 12th state to legalize same-sex marriages.

8. Reunions. An old family friend from Upstate New York got a sponsorship to do some work this week at Winterthur, a beautiful facility just a few minutes up the road from us. So this week, my mom and I met up with her for dinner at Nirvana, a Fine Indian Restaurant in Independence Mall. It was so good to get to catch up with her, and have some grown-up girl time.

9. Federal Donuts. I was introduced this weekend by J.'s brother, his fiancee, and her best friend, who fondly refer to it as "Fed 'Nuts" and tout the virtues of the donuts, the coffee, the fried chicken. Really, everything was delicious. I ate three donuts total, six different flavors: some more predictable cinnamon-sugary ones, and some like vanilla lavender, blackberry anise, and mango coconut. Plus, the place itself is earthy-cute in a way that places in Minneapolis are earthy-cute, but not many places in Delaware are. I am its latest fan.


10. People like to help each other. I posted a picture of my "save the bottle caps" jar on Instagram this weekend and within a few minutes I had two offers to send bottle cap collections for my project. Pretty cool.


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Thanks for joining us this Sunday night! Stick with me on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga for updates on new posts and other stuff about new adulthood. Come back next Sunday night for a reminder of 10 good things that haven't happened yet, and on Wednesday night for a more in-depth reflection on post-grad life. Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

what nobody ever says about networking

Well, dear readers, life gets in the way again. Or, life sidetracks. I have had this post about Meeting People in my Idea Bank for months, and was inspired to write it this week by a really great fleeting romantic encounter involving one of my friends... But then tonight happened and I have to switch tack. Keep an eye out for the Romantic Encounters post in the near future, though. (Also, I have been trying for years now -- plural! -- to get someone to write a guest post about online dating and for the life of me I can't get anyone to write it! So, dear readers, if any of you would like to take a stab at it I will love you forever.

...Speaking of romantic encounters.)

On to my story for this evening.

A week or two ago, I saw a Facebook post from an old family friend from the Upstate New York days, the mother of a girl I studied abroad with in high school saying she was going to be working at Winterthur for a few days. I commented that Winterthur happens to be just a few minutes up the road from where I am currently situated, and she messaged me right away and gave me her phone number and said she would love to meet up while she is in town.

So after work today she met my mom and me at Nirvana, an Indian restaurant in Independence Mall (fitting, since the circumstance of our meeting was the study abroad program in India).

Sidenote: Positive dining experience at Nirvana. We had a lovely combination of dishes: chicken madras, dal bukhara, and malai kofta with rice and raita; also the veg pakora were delicious. I would say it's on the underspiced side, especially compared to the fiery Maharaja Palace in Newark. The decor was also nice, and we got some joy out of the music. In the two hours we were there, I think there were only two other tables so it was pretty quiet on a Wednesday night. And now, back to the main event.

It was fabulous, to catch up after what has easily been seven or eight years, to share and to hear what we have all been up to, and to get a fresh perspective on things from what feels like another time and place. You know that feeling of introducing a high school friend to a college friend, like two versions of yourself are sliding together at least for a moment? Or the feeling of explaining a current situation to someone you knew very well in middle school, as if they can tell you how your middle school self would react to what is happening now, and reveal some sort of truth or wisdom you have since lost sight of? It's affirming.

Meeting up with this friend was also an opportunity to share updates on the lives of mutual friends, particularly a lot of the girls I went to school with on this program. That part was a little sad to me, because I have done a terrible job of staying in touch with most of them, and have mostly watched from afar as they all graduated together and visited each other around the world and traveled together. I will say that I am inspired now to drop a few notes to say hi and I hope you are well. Because I do. This is something I have never quite come to terms with: how can I ever express how often I think of people that have crossed my path throughout my life, and how important they are to me even if I have nothing really to say to them at this point in my life. I don't know. Staying in touch is a bit foreign to me. But I think I'm getting at least a little better at it over time.

I have, in fact, been in touch with at least one of these mutual friends in the past week or two, and I have been very happy to exchange a few words (and snapchats) with her.

Also in the last week I have exchanged messages with two really important people from my college days. And I've written some letters too. And all of these exchanges mean more to me than I can even comprehend or explain to myself.

So this all brings me to something I think about on a pretty regular basis, being a contributing member of society and spending so much of my time engaging with the working world: networking.

It's like a dirty word. It's what you have to do if you want career success. There is a right way and a wrong way to do it. The general feeling about it is reluctant and everybody has anxiety about it and to be honest I always associate the word with slimy and/or pretentious behavior and, at the very least, some fibbing and embellishment.

Which is really sort of silly, because I actually "network" all the time and I do legitimately enjoy making interesting connections with people. I like staying in touch with old friends who are doing interesting things; I like meeting new people who are doing interesting things and talking to them about it, and catching up with them later to find out what has changed and how the whole thing is going.

I met this woman on the plane coming back from MSP two weeks ago, who is an organizational change officer for her company. That means she travels around helping different branches of the company transition smoothly into using new systems and incorporating new policies into their basic operations, and making sure everybody is on board with what's going on. She talked a lot about the "people side of change."

I loved that! I wanted to ask about a billion questions, and I wanted to know how things turned out for her in the latest round of changes, and I wanted to talk to her about the impact of social media on organizational change and about the perspectives she gained from her studies in communications, in the context of what she was doing for work. I almost asked her if she had a card, or for some contact information, but I liked her so much I didn't want her to think I was being opportunistic, so I didn't ask. And I have been kicking myself ever since.

And I really think the reason I didn't ask is because that is a pretty standard "networking" technique and it seems opportunistic and not genuine and like just what I'm supposed to do. (We all know how I feel about things I'm just supposed to do.)

That may be more of a side effect of my stubborn beat-of-my-own-drum attitudes than the social stigma of networking, but I still think it's worth mentioning. Why can't I just think someone is cool and maybe want to talk to them about work, especially if we both like what we do and can inform each other's perspectives, without having it tainted by the veneer of corporate traditions? And why does something so pure, like an interesting conversation or a potential future friend or mentor or colleague, have to be cheapened by a term that carries so much weight of self-interest and personal gain?

I would love to hear other thoughts about the whole networking thing; I am pretty open to the idea that my resistance could easily be a byproduct of nervousness about putting myself out there, but I have always felt the whole "you have to do this to be successful" dialogue to cheapen connections between people that might otherwise be effortless and mutually enriching.

And to bring it back around to my original thought: I love catching up with you, classmates, friends, relatives and other readers. If I get around to sending you a personal message, it means I'm thinking about you and that I think you are probably doing something interesting and that I have respect and admiration and fond memories of you.

And if I don't get around to actually sending a message... I'm probably still thinking a lot of those same things.

Be well, readers; and be real.


posted from Bloggeroid