tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13948097402257763552024-03-13T00:23:58.085-04:00second set of baby stepstaking baby steps into the unfamiliar and writing about it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.comBlogger288125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-84066253450412700312015-07-31T21:13:00.000-04:002015-07-31T21:13:31.064-04:00uncertainty<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This week was our second-to-last ceramics class of the session. My sibs and I have quite a lot of clay left, a few unfired pieces, and hardly anything glazed (with the exception of Asha, of course, who already has a handful of beautiful, interesting items). We started to feel the pressure. <br />
<br />
I spent most of the class bopping around from table to wheel to the waxing and glazing area, bopping past Maria who was doing mostly the same thing. When we found ourselves in the same place there was a lot of "I don't really know what I'm doing..." and "uhh..." and "I feel like I should have this more under wraps." <br />
<br />
And then, of course, suddenly -- it was the last half-hour of the second-to-last class and I had barely done anything. I had allowed myself to become paralyzed by uncertainty, and missed out on some potentially valuable time. I'm also pretty certain something awful will happen to my last-minute haphazardly glazed test tiles and experimental pieces. But no sense in worrying about them now. <br />
<br />
* * * * * <br />
This isn't a phenomenon that's isolated to ceramics. I do the same thing at work, when I have an unfamiliar task in front of me; the same thing at a networking event <a href="https://www.blogger.com/2015/07/psyching-myself-in.html" target="_blank">when I don't know who to talk to or what to say;</a> the same thing at dinnertime, when I am making a new recipe and feel myself starting to get hungry; the same thing in relationships when I start to reach a turning point or uncharted territory; the same thing now that I'm planning a wedding and have no idea how to talk to a band or an equipment rental company or a caterer. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EUhWhux6PD8/VbwcvpG1_XI/AAAAAAAAWqM/n5leGVdNh8I/s1600/1363_10151566738257129_2008692664_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EUhWhux6PD8/VbwcvpG1_XI/AAAAAAAAWqM/n5leGVdNh8I/s400/1363_10151566738257129_2008692664_n.jpg" /></a>And yet I consider myself a fearless adventurer. I have done incredible and incredibly stupid things, whether because I couldn't pass it up or to prove a point or just to say I've done it. I have accomplished so many things I'm proud of and crossed into uncharted relationship territory over and over again and whipped up some deliciously interesting dishes and cocktails. How do I get from Point A to Point B? How can I justify my Fearless Adventurer status while being regularly paralyzed by uncertainty and fear? <br />
<br>
* * * * *<br />
I suppose there's always the whole "Courage isn't the absence of fear" thing. And there's <a href="http://10daysofdreams.blogspot.com/2010/05/endluftpause.html" target="_blank">Chris, a Guiding Angel, who used to do things in spite of his fear.</a> I can find my motivation for every situation, prove to myself and whoever else that I can do it, and I will. And there's just procrastinating until I can't put it off any more. <br />
<br />
Fear is a built-in self-defense mechanism, so as long as we are alive we can't really get away from it. We gradually get comfortable with things that used to be unfamiliar, the things that used to scare us. And then a new unfamiliar thing swoops in to take its place. Every next day and next moment is bursting with uncertainty, but every next day and next moment is going to come no matter what we do and we will do with it what we do. For me, I have to allow myself those moments of hesitation, because for every hesitant moment I have another moment where I sally forth into the mental fog. There is no sense in kicking myself for wasting time because I didn't know what to do. All I can do is shrug it off and put another finger down in the next game of "Never-Have-I-Ever." <br />
<br />
Maybe someday my kids, or at least my nieces and nephews and mentees, will look at me and marvel that I always seem to know what I am doing; that I'm not afraid of anything (I'm even working on not freaking out in the presence of bees!) <br />
<br />
Fooled ya.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-56470086575376926162015-07-17T22:14:00.000-04:002015-07-17T22:14:11.033-04:00psyching myself in
Last summer at a writers' conference I happened to meet two missionary kids, a brother and sister who grew up in Grenada.<br />
<br />
M., the sister, and I have kept in touch and started a Meetup group for third culture kids in the area. We had our first meeting last Thursday and it wasn't super well-attended but we had one new person that none of us personally invited! I consider that a success.<br />
<br />
I'm not usually the first person to show up anywhere, but that's one of the things I'm working on... Even if it means setting a start time half and hour beforehand and being 20 minutes late. (Which is what happened last Thursday.) All that to say, I found myself at the coffee shop alone when the only person I didn't know on the RSVP list showed up.<br />
<br />
I used to feel like I was an extrovert; in college, I was engaging, and I could hold a conversation with anybody -- I could hold court. Since moving here and starting my job, I've felt a bit out of my depth. I'm the quiet one again, like I was in elementary school. And lately, I've been feeling pretty stressed out when there's pressure to start conversations with people I don't know very well, or at all.<br />
<br />
But in this case, when the only person on the RSVP list I didn't know showed up, I started asking questions and getting to know him, and it was great. I felt, if not entirely comfortable, as though I had something to offer that was of value.<br />
<br />
* * * * *<br>
This brings me to a few points:<br>
<ol>
<li>J is always telling me he doesn't get why I'm so self-conscious talking about my personal history and my travels -- 'where I'm from.' I just don't ever want to be that person who talks and talks and talks about all the cool places I've visited, all the while stomping down the people around me. But sometimes it turns into me devaluing my experiences and/or psyching myself out about having a conversation with anyone.</li>
<li>Psyching myself out is a very real stumbling block. Most of the time I don't even catch myself doing it, but one of my colleagues once said something about 'listening to the words as they're coming out of my mouth' and I realize I am guilty of doing that: worrying so much about my phrasings and nuances that I lose touch with the actual conversation I'm having and my core message.</li>
</ol>
<br>
Step one is always recognizing the problem. Once I realized I psyched myself out, I put a little bit of energy into psyching myself back <em>in</em>. Focus on listening to the other side of the conversation, not what's coming out of my mouth. Find a core commonality, even if it's something as simple as standing in the same square yard of space. In the case of the TCK group, it's the shared difficulty in answering the question, <em>"Where are you from?"</em><br>
<br>
It's not easy, but I'm learning to 'turn it on' when I need to be engaging, and to push my insecurities to the side. I might not say it right 100% of the time, but who does? We're all human -- and I'm beginning to realize that most people, no matter how old they are, or how apparently charismatic, have some insecurity about starting a conversation with an unknown person, or about holding court in a crowd. Our success at doing so has something to do with training, little to do with personality, but mostly to do with giving it a shot in the first place.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-39281722167209347482015-07-10T20:14:00.004-04:002015-07-11T00:24:30.722-04:00feeding the multitudes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
These days, as my first post-college cohort of married friends and same-aged cousins is beginning to have their babies and post about it on Facebook, I find myself feeling ill-prepared to have children.<br />
<br />
That's not quite the right way to say it; I mean, I definitely <i>want</i> kids at some point... And I don't even think I'd be an awful parent at this point in my life, theoretically. It's just that it feels like enough work keeping my <i>own</i> head above water to imagine being responsible for another tiny little life. And what if I have twins?! (It's on both sides of the family...)<br />
<br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ESMwDCa-9I8/VaBfqnqNSCI/AAAAAAAAWPU/ip-TTBOfpqw/s1600/IMG_20150710_191208.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ESMwDCa-9I8/VaBfqnqNSCI/AAAAAAAAWPU/ip-TTBOfpqw/s320/IMG_20150710_191208.jpg" /></a>I have to give my mom props here. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, <a href="http://blog.babystepsblog.com/2015/06/the-mission-ceramics-101_19.html" target="_blank">I've been taking a ceramics class with my siblings this summer</a>. (We just started spinning on the wheel this week and I'm in love -- but that's a story for another day.) Because I live less than 10 minutes away from the studio, everybody gathers at our place on Tuesday evenings around 5:30 to eat and drive to class together.<br />
<br />
And usually, on Tuesdays, J has bro night -- also at our place. Which means there are 6 hungry young adults hanging in my living room, hot and ravenous, half an hour after I get home from work. And four of us have to eat and wash our plates and leave the house 45 minutes later.<br />
<br />
You probably see where I'm going with this, but let me break it down.<br />
<br />
<b>Week One:</b><br />
I forget this is happening and text Jason before leaving the office: "Just remembered my sibs are coming for dinner tonight and we have ceramics at 6:30..."<br />
<br />
So I rush in from work, throw together a cold quinoa salad which we eat hot because there isn't time for it to cool, and J graciously grills a few extra burgers to share with my siblings. (And by a few extra, I mean ten.) We also split three fresh ears of corn between the six of us. We are 5 minutes late to our first class, and I have a pile of dirty plates to wash when I get home three hours later.<br />
<br />
<b>Week Two:</b><br />
I give Jason a little more warning this time, and ask nicely; so he (again, graciously) makes three extra pounds of grilled chicken, and grills up the last of our potatoes and a sad pile of waning wax beans (i.e. the only thing grillable in our crisper). I'm sure the boys are still hungry, but my hands are tied.<br />
<br />
<b>Week Three:</b><br />
Asha texts me in the afternoon asking if we can have pizza for dinner. I breathe a sigh of relief and reply, "Done. That's exactly what I was thinking for tonight."<br />
<br />
I order two large pizzas online before leaving work, and pick them up on my way home. (I beat <i>most</i> of the people back to my house that night...)<br />
<br />
When J and I order pizza, we spend about $13 and eat it for breakfast AND lunch the next day. I spent more than twice that much on pizza that night, and it was gone within 20 minutes.<br />
<br />
<b>Week Four:</b><br />
Monday night, 9:30 p.m. J and I are on our way home from eating dinner at my parents' house. I remember, in exhausted desperation, that we have to somehow feed 6 people in less than 24 hours, and the only thing in the fridge is Guinness and hard-boiled eggs.<br />
<br />
I wake up early on Tuesday and -- on a whim -- take chicken thighs out of the freezer, chop up some potatoes and dump it all into a slow cooker with a can of diced tomatoes and a bunch of herbs.<br />
<br />
I put on rice when I got home, and it all turns out pretty well. I feel like I nailed it for the first time since ceramics started -- and everyone washes their own plates.<br />
<br />
And then when I open the tupperware of leftovers at lunch the next day, it's all potatoes. The chicken got completely polished off the night before.<br />
<br />
* * * * *<br />
I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining; like most of my life's struggles, I'm looking at this as an exercise. And it's such good exercise that I have to give my mom mad props for feeding us breakfast, lunch and dinner when we were little (four little kids under the age of 6) and, when we got older, coming home from work and making dinner every day and half the time eating only what was left on our plates. And not only that, but a good percent of the time, everything got ready at more or less the same time. It's not as easy as moms make it look.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wSR8oAOVPy4/VaBf3NdTMbI/AAAAAAAAWPc/a4JIxVQLdWM/s1600/IMG_20150710_183712.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wSR8oAOVPy4/VaBf3NdTMbI/AAAAAAAAWPc/a4JIxVQLdWM/s320/IMG_20150710_183712.jpg" /></a>I am enjoying this exercise while it lasts, and it's already made me stronger -- but I will be glad to get back to my regular struggles of worrying about what the two of us will eat every night of the week (except the two nights where our moms still feed us), plus leftovers for lunch. And for the time being, I'm happy <i>not</i> trying to feed a small, brand-new human (or two or three) who will probably refuse to eat and/or will throw most of the food at me. I'm sure I'll be delighted about it someday, but right now I've got enough on my plate.<br />
<br />
This Friday evening, it's a G+T, a pickle, a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie and a PB&J. And Jason made the sandwich for me. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-65744551802954099322015-07-04T14:43:00.003-04:002015-07-04T14:43:24.402-04:00doing 'nothing'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Our beginning-of-the-week conversations for the first few months consisted of, "What did you do this weekend?" "Nothing." "Really? Nothing?" *Shrug*
Before we started exchanging books, hanging out first once a week, then twice, then three or four times and texting in between.
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GVY8Se-ID_M/VZgoC2NsFlI/AAAAAAAAWNw/tgJcV09F6W4/s1600/IMG_20150704_140257.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GVY8Se-ID_M/VZgoC2NsFlI/AAAAAAAAWNw/tgJcV09F6W4/s200/IMG_20150704_140257.jpg" width="200" /></a>Three and a half years later, people are asking us, "What are you guys doing for the Fourth?" And we say, "Nothing."
<br />
<br />
It's been nonstop for months now, the days and weeks and weekends jam-packed with meetings and hanging out and appointments and checking things off the list. I like that, to an extent; but a three-day weekend with no obligations is a rainbow unicorn in my version of adulthood, at least.
<br />
<br />
*****
<br />
Last week I wrote, but my heart wasn't in it. And then Friday evening came around, and our fridge was fresh out of food and we had company coming from out of town. So I decided not to post. I stressed about it for an hour or so, and realized I wasn't being present, and that's the important thing; so I gave myself a get-out-of-jail free card and forgot about it. This is part of being gracious toward myself.
<br />
<br />
It's about what's important.
Celebrating means different things to different people, and has meant different things to me at different points in my life.
Some people like spending holidays in the world's most famous celebration spots, packed up against strangers like the contents of a massive sushi roll. Those people probably think of strangers as future friends.
<br />
<br />
I am working on priorities. It's hard for an overcommitter like me to stay committed to everything, and I'm working on whittling down my commitments, whittling down my priorities and using the important things as a flowchart to decide whether I can take anything else on or not. I'm reading lots of LinkedIn articles about it and testing out methods of keeping my life in order. My biggest central goal right now is finding zen in the rhythm of my life, even when it's crazy and too full of good things. Rolling with it.
<br />
<br />
But my top priority is clear: my relationships with good people - maintaining them, and, more importantly, enjoying them.
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4EmZc5ZKYyU/VZgoZLGYPLI/AAAAAAAAWN8/P3d93rj76DY/s1600/IMG_20150628_112111.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4EmZc5ZKYyU/VZgoZLGYPLI/AAAAAAAAWN8/P3d93rj76DY/s320/IMG_20150628_112111.jpg" style="align: right;" /></a>Last week, when I really thought about it, between my commitment to blogging and my commitment to hosting, the choice was pretty clear.
Today, I am taking a much-needed breather, starting my day with good food and a long conversation, just J and me, with good food and drinks sprinkled throughout. This relationship takes precedence, the health of our relationship and taking time to check in and recalibrate, and while we're at it, putting some care into our mental health.
<br />
<br />
This is a bit of an oversimplification, but so far my big lesson for summer 2015 is prioritizing, and using that hierarchy to make decisions about what I'm committing to.
<br />
<br />
With that in mind, I'm signing off. Happy Fourth (though I hope you all are celebrating with your friends and families, dear readers, and won't see this until the day is over). Until I write again...</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-4178431763282397022015-06-19T18:46:00.000-04:002015-06-19T18:53:35.366-04:00the mission: ceramics 101<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"Are you the Swansons?" - our ceramics teacher as we rolled into class 5 minutes late. (Not bad...) "Are you a band? You sound like a band."
<br />
<br />
Now that's a new one. But it's particularly funny right now since our running joke for the summer is that we're going to start a family a cappella group a la Von Trapp Family Singers. We opted not to share that joke with out new classmates and teacher; best not to get their hopes up.
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/71/Trapp_Family_Singers_1941.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/71/Trapp_Family_Singers_1941.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Trapp Family Singers 1941" by Trapp Family Singers <br />Metropolitan Music Bureau, New York. Photo by Larry Gordon.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
We went around the room and introduced ourselves: the high school English teacher trying ceramics out for fun; three women who took the class before and got addicted; Thom, doing this to hang out with the siblings; me, who made some pinch pots back in first grade and hung out with potters in college; Maria, the music person whose idea it was to take the class in the first place ("so when we all hate it we know who to blame!"); and Asha, who of course got the hang of the clay long before the rest of us could even put two pinch pots together and keep them inflated.
<br />
<br />
By the end of the three hours, Asha had a lion head ready to be fired; Maria made an abstract "war bird"; I had a lumpy eggplant that stands on end and Thomas created and collapsed a pineapple. ("I don't really need a bunch of clay pineapples collecting dust.") After 8 weeks, we're all hoping to have a mug to show for ourselves.
<br />
<br />
This is what my siblings and I do for fun. The other day J and I showed up for dinner and my dad was tiling the upstairs bathroom, Asha was picking up rocks from the creek to line flower beds, Maria was stitching a T-shirt quilt and Thomas had plans for his latest project laid out in graph paper all over the living room. "Now you know why I get so irritated when the TV's on all the time," I said to J.
<br />
<br />
One summer, we scripted, set, and produced an adventure movie filmed across four cities in Northern India. The final product was 20 minutes long, with complicated character relationships and a cast of six.
<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tzNDo0DqY64/VYSa8yFlnVI/AAAAAAAAWE4/tqtGxVq5u3c/s1600/IMG_20150618_072439.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tzNDo0DqY64/VYSa8yFlnVI/AAAAAAAAWE4/tqtGxVq5u3c/s320/IMG_20150618_072439.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">my inspiration: pottery from friends</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I value that creative outlet, and the creative community in growing up that way. It's a hunger I carry with me everywhere I go, even now... Even though I dedicate so little time to creative endeavors these days. I envy people who do art professionally, like my full-time writer friends here in Delaware and my college friends now doing MFAs, publishing chapbooks, selling handmade jewelry or bowls or clothes in towns around the country. I envy people who have the energy after work to do anything more than throw together a (roughly) balanced dinner and maybe a fancy cocktail - my art of choice these days.
<br />
<br />
I caught up with a friend last week who just left her job in preparation for moving and starting grad school over the next few months. She said, "Now that I'm not working, the TV is hardly ever on. I just find a lot of other things to do."
<br />
<br />
Out of desperation, I added that it serves its purpose; it's an easy way to get a story fix at the end of a full day.
<br />
<br />
As a kid, I watched only PBS until I aged out around 10. Sesame Street taught me how to read, and Wishbone taught me how to love it; Mr. Rogers taught me imagination. When we had filled our TV quota for the day, we would run downstairs and build a "magic Barney bag" full of scavenged craft materials, or put on a sock puppet show, or set up our own mini-Olympics in the living room. We built tiny towns of mud-and-twig huts in the backyard, elaborate Lego cities for our plastic animal figurines, box and blanket forts for ourselves. Whatever we saw on TV, we replicated in real life. After a movie, when the credit music came on, we all leaped up from the couch and started dancing. When I read a great book, I started writing what I hoped would turn into a great book.
<br />
<br />
That is the luxury of childhood, and now I see it as such. When I have kids, I hope I can pass that on to them... but in the meantime I'm on a mission to find creativity in the adult world.
<br />
<br />
Readers: let me know where you all find your creativity, and how you make time and space for it!</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-63546542101787020442015-06-12T18:28:00.000-04:002015-06-12T18:29:24.464-04:00hashtag learning (when to stop)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lFD1nkAcykE/VXtZHENlc1I/AAAAAAAAV98/0gNK1DKUfr4/s1600/hashtag-cloud-overwhelmed.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="207" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lFD1nkAcykE/VXtZHENlc1I/AAAAAAAAV98/0gNK1DKUfr4/s320/hashtag-cloud-overwhelmed.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the hashtags of my life lately</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The last few weeks have been a bit insane, with work (where we have a couple of big projects coming to fruition and lots of development going on), volunteer responsibilities, wedding planning, social commitments, conferences, big news events, and all the other extracurricular projects I've created for myself.<br />
<br />
I'm getting a lot out of this laundry list, but am I getting maxed out a little? How much does input feed overload take away from my takeaway? And how do I put on the brakes when most things "can't wait," and I'm trying to establish my place in the world? (Not sure why I even bother, when that place is only going to change every other year, if not more often...)<br />
<br />
I <i>think</i> the answer is: You just <i>put on the brakes</i>; there is no "try." It's like saying, "Excuse me, would you mind please turning this gigantic noisy machine off?" when nobody can hear you and you pretty much have to just walk right up to it and firmly push the EMERGENCY STOP button.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yYMyS6PYF50/VXtbQZFOIuI/AAAAAAAAV-I/_SPu5DW8aWQ/s1600/EMERGENCY%2BSTOP.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yYMyS6PYF50/VXtbQZFOIuI/AAAAAAAAV-I/_SPu5DW8aWQ/s1600/EMERGENCY%2BSTOP.png" /></a></div>
<br />
So (hopefully) that's one lesson learned. Or lesson in progress, anyway. I have a feeling that one is going to take some work.<br />
<br />
<br />
But I'm pulling lots of other things, too, out of the chaos. Here are a few of them:<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GrMcpGb34LM/VXtUlT_6BfI/AAAAAAAAV9w/OF5VCtoKKiU/s1600/IMG_20150528_161444.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GrMcpGb34LM/VXtUlT_6BfI/AAAAAAAAV9w/OF5VCtoKKiU/s200/IMG_20150528_161444.jpg" width="199" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#IWSTEM panel, May 28</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ol style="text-align: left;">
<li><b>I am an introvert (or at least much more so than I thought I was).</b> I need to spend some quality solo-time before and after big networking events or presentations, otherwise I get super exhausted, super fast.</li>
<br />
<li><b>It's okay to feel like an impostor.</b> One of the extremely poised and successful women on an Inspiring Women in STEM panel shared this with us: "I have a hard time sometimes, and I feel like I shouldn't be, and like I can't be open about that." Afterward I thanked her for sharing that, because <a href="https://www.blogger.com/2015/05/graduating-adults.html">I often feel like I should be handling things a lot more seamlessly</a>, and she said, "Do you ever feel like an impostor?" And I said, "YESSSSS!" And she said, "That's totally normal." Score!</li>
<br />
<li><b>If I want to talk to someone, I have to reach out. Don't wait.</b> If I have a few minutes, and I'm thinking about somebody or have something to talk about, I just pick up the phone. Even 10 or 15 minutes is enough to keep a long-distance relationship going.</li>
<br />
<li><b>Focus on what's most important</b>. For example, if I'm stressed out about wedding planning, I try to take a step back and remember why we're doing it: <i>We're getting married to each other, and we want to share the day with people we love.</i> It takes two seconds to think this and it puts everything back into perspective.</li>
<br />
<li><b>Also, share those priorities and values</b>. I've been sharing that central piece with people in conversations, and I've been pleasantly surprised at how it shifts the focus of the conversation. Our culture tends to focus on the <i>wedding</i> more than the actual <i>marriage</i>, but when I introduce marriage into the conversation in that way it opens the floor for other people to share their own deeper thoughts and experiences.
<br />
<br />
This approach also keeps me focused and accountable in other projects, and makes tough decisions suddenly become clear. Putting together a <a href="http://www.meetup.com/Help-Ive-Got-My-Cultures-Crossed/events/222322748/?a=ea1_grp&rv=ea1&_af=event&_af_eid=222322748" target="_blank">group for young third culture kids around Delaware</a> and want to set the precedent for low-key, open conversation? Choose a venue that is quiet and open enough for easy talking.</li>
<br />
<li><b>State my position openly, and if I am confused or ambivalent about something, say that too.</b> A lot of times what I'm not sure about gets worked out as I'm saying it; if not, someone else can usually offer something to help clear it up. If I know what I think (or if it really doesn't matter between choice A or choice B) it keeps things moving and positions me as a person of action. And then when something comes up that I can't figure out, the rest of the group has no problem chipping in because they know exactly where I stand.</li>
</ol>
<div>
I've also learned some other interesting factoids, such as:<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>There is simulation technology being developed for nursing and medical students to practice procedures (surgical and otherwise) on theater students, so that they can get real-life feedback in a much lower-stakes environment. (From #TechTrendsDE, an event in downtown Wilmington that felt like stepping into Silicon Valley.)</li>
<li>Childhood trauma is a major contributing factor to incarceration in adulthood, and housing access is one of the biggest barriers to successful reentry. #DCHJwomen</li>
<li>I have learned a lot about my extended family, and about family dynamics in general, through planning our huge 5-year reunion to be held this summer. #arvidclara15</li>
<li>There are 22 St. Olaf graduates currently living in the state of Delaware. #UmYaYa!</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And lots of other things.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I don't see that slowing down anytime soon, and I have to admit I don't hate it.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-3396807921998769092015-06-05T19:15:00.001-04:002015-06-05T19:59:40.405-04:00we need each other<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My family had two cats.<br />
<br />
The first one, Stella, is the softest kitty you ever saw, with the sweetest, tiniest meow you ever heard -- but her personality is anything but soft and sweet. She's cranky and standoffish, and <i>if you're lucky</i> you can pet her once before she strikes with claws and teeth. She became part of the family the day after my first "date" with J; when asked about the beginning of our relationship, he always brings up the photo I sent him when I came home from work to find her there after picking her out at the shelter. She was about 6 months old, one of the youngest (and most vocal) cats in the social cat cage.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dBSAtDy_eD8/VXI3TlmtsVI/AAAAAAAAV4c/00EuXlp60t4/s1600/20131225_124459.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dBSAtDy_eD8/VXI3TlmtsVI/AAAAAAAAV4c/00EuXlp60t4/s320/20131225_124459.jpg" width="240" /></a>The second one, Furrgus, came to us as a <i>tiny</i> black ball of fur, his eyes barely open. He was found in a gutter and lived in our guest bedroom for 6 weeks in quarantine until he could safely come out and meet Stella. He was goofy and rambunctious from Day One, always sneaking out between our feet, climbing our pant legs, and tripping over himself. He's also fearless; while Stella would shoot off at the slightest noise or disturbance, Furrg chased the vacuum cleaner, the ceiling fan and the buzz saw.<br />
<br />
Later we came to the conclusion that he was also deaf, because have you ever met a cat you could sneak up on?! We kept him inside for a long time, knowing that he wouldn't blink at a passing car or the other gigantic cats on the block (with whom Stella gets into regular altercations) or the neighborhood's crew of bored teenagers. But eventually his cabin fever was getting everyone down, so we let him out.<br />
<br />
And he was so happy! He and Stella started getting along better; he cuddled more, slept more, cried less. He would just sit, for hours, watching us work outside, or having staring contests with Stella's arch-enemy cat from next door. His reflexes got sharper, and he mellowed out, became more affectionate.<br />
<br />
And then on Saturday, my dad called to tell me he'd been hit by a car and died.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
I can't say we didn't all see it coming. We knew he was too full of life to be the kind of cat who lived to a ripe old age of 20, when he would quietly fade away with 8 lives still intact. At two, he'd already burned through his backup lives, and it wasn't slowing him down a bit!<br />
<br />
But I didn't see it coming <i>this particular </i>Saturday; I hadn't planned for it. And I didn't expect to mourn so deeply and immediately. My hurt usually soaks in slowly, over time, so I can deal with it when the time of action is over. Besides that, I'm used to being the Leaver, not the Left-Behind. We've had pets before, but we always moved (to a different country) before we had to make any tough decisions -- and have been miraculously spared a sad event like this one 'til now.<br />
<br />
Furrgus was the kind of pet that teaches you how to be comfortable in your own skin, reminds you not to take yourself too seriously, encourages you to stay curious. He schooled us in living on the regular.<br />
<br />
And, in a sense, he schooled us in death too. He went quickly, sleeping. And then he gathered us together -- even Stella.<br />
<br />
Sharing grief is a powerful thing. It's critical: the element of touch; the way different people in the group trade off the caretaker role; the sharing of stories, that laughing-with-tears-streaming-down-your-face -- you can't do that by yourself so well. And two cups of tea, shared, taste so much better than one.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
What I am left with is this: We Need Each Other.<br />
<br />
We all need a Furrgus... or a few Furrguses. (My other "Furrguses" include my friend <a href="http://10daysofdreams.blogspot.com/2010/05/endluftpause.html" target="_blank">Chris Lund</a>, my Grammi, <a href="http://blog.babystepsblog.com/search?q=morrie" target="_blank">Morrie Schwartz.</a>..) And we all need people to be around when tough times strike.<br />
<br />
There is a lot to cry about in our world: layoffs and breakups and failed tests and pitch after pitch that falls flat.<br />
Delaware (<a href="http://www.politico.com/story/2015/06/joe-bidens-tragedy-is-a-death-in-the-american-family-118517.html?cmpid=sf#ixzz3br7iQEOj" target="_blank">and the rest of the nation</a>) is mourning our well-loved former AG, Beau Biden. The collective pain is palpable here in Wilmington.<br />
People in cities across the country mourn the violence that named Wilmington Murder Capital of the USA last year, and has recently brought Baltimore to a 40-year high in shooting deaths, and strikes almost every city and town in its own way.<br />
There are sunken boats and plane crashes and bombings and wars and extreme weather events.<br />
And although the hype has subsided, the world has been mourning the 9,000+ dead in Nepal's series of earthquakes last month, and the many others affected still by the stricken infrastructure and loss of family, community, and home.<br />
<br />
We have our personal tragedies, and our shared tragedies. Our mourning filters through every aspect of our lives, and adds a gritty complexity and weight to our days. And it intensifies our humanity, which seeks company and community. We teach each other and catch each other and do our best to salve the pain of others and to keep on. It's why we Walk for the Cure and donate or volunteer for relief efforts and community services and clean-up crews. It's why we go to wakes and hold each other while we cry and inevitably stumble over words that we know can never really take the pain away -- because we are human and that's beautiful and we need each other to remind us of what's important and why we even bother slogging through the shit at all. And to remind us to make the most of it, and to do what we can to make the world better, even in very small ways.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-76367003031006253832015-05-29T19:56:00.000-04:002015-05-29T19:56:29.322-04:00graduating adults?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I was talking with some college classmates recently when one of them said, "Guys-- we're seniors of adulthood!"<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sadly, it's not the kind of <i>senior</i> that gets us discounted admission to movies and festivals (in fact, now that our student IDs have worn off we're just getting used to paying full admission for the first time). It is to say, if we had started undergrad the year we finished it, we would be "commencing" right about now.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If you ask me, we're still commencing. I'm still learning how to handle myself, and life throws new things at me all the time. I'm always starting something new: moving to new digs, starting work for a new client or in a different position, making new friends, taking ceramics (starting in about two weeks), visiting new places, getting married in the fall... And I know my classmates are moving, having babies, starting new jobs, getting married, starting masters and doctorate degree programs, finishing med school... The range of experiences we've tried our hand at is astonishing. And we have become all too familiar with the flip sides of these things: breaking up, quitting jobs, leaving our home cities.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm glad for that; I tend to get bored easily if nothing changes. Comfort is my nemesis. I'm the kind of person that frantically creates tasks when the end of my to-do list comes into view. (I'm working on that...)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What makes it hard to deal with sometimes is that these "new things" I'm taking on seem so <i>ordinary</i>. Like I shouldn't struggle so much to get a handle on them: new work in my same company; a new name for the same relationship. I guess I had hoped, a quarter of the way through my life, to have figured more of this stuff out by now.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That said, my latest task? <i>Give myself a break sometimes!</i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
When friends come to me struggling through a degree, or a rough breakup, or a new job, I don't say, "Stop crying, we've been through this before. You should have this down pat by now." </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So why would I hold myself to that unrealistic, harsh, and unhelpful standard? It takes the joy out of the "figuring out," and devalues the amazing progress I <i>have</i> made and what I <i>have</i> accomplished.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Besides that, we can't compare ourselves to each other. We are all different, and wonderfully so. When someone posts an engagement on Facebook, we don't see the mundane aspects of the relationship (i.e. all day, every day), or the relationships that have ended so this one could begin. When someone posts a graduation photo, we don't see the all-nighters and exams; nor do we see the celebratory drinks. And why should we feel worse about ourselves for not finishing med school if we never even wanted to be doctors?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Perhaps hardest for me to face, but most powerful, is that I <i>will</i> make mistakes. Not every life lesson ends with an achievement; many of them are learned by screwing up, by getting lost or, unfortunately, by causing pain to myself or others. It sounds cliche, but I am now learning the reality of this fact more tangibly than ever before.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And it's freeing! Hopefully, the risks we take are calculated, so the messes we make are the kind that can be cleaned up. But if we are always afraid to make them, we will never move from this place, this moment, this state of mind.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's inevitable: the world changes; we change; relationships and situations change. The years pass, and we move and we learn and we come and go from each other's lives, and maybe come back again... </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I, for one, am always working toward something, always building something. I am writing again because those "baby steps" never get bigger. Every day is another set of (sometimes frustratingly tiny, sometimes victorious) baby steps. It's a theme and a mantra in so many areas of my life, and I need the reminder to find joy in the figuring-out. I don't want to take these steps in isolation. I want to document them, work through them, share them.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And I miss the conversations that have sprung up around this space over the years. I write for myself, but I also write for <i>us</i>, for the world. Always moving, always turning.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I hope you'll join me for another set.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<3</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-28535324815572323242014-05-28T18:01:00.001-04:002014-05-28T18:01:13.764-04:00the last post: a commencement address<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>For the last post I thought about writing a reprise of the first post, <a href='http://secondsetofbabysteps.blogspot.com/2011/05/excuse-to-celebrate.html'><i>an excuse to celebrate</i></a>.<br/>
<a href='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-3WMmB8opz_o/U4ZcpZdERiI/AAAAAAAAIjU/ocOl4xHpH2I/s2560/1401314468432.png' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-3WMmB8opz_o/U4ZcpZdERiI/AAAAAAAAIjU/ocOl4xHpH2I/s640/1401314468432.png' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
But when I went back and read it again, it was instantly clear that this, in its simplest sense, would not satisfy me. I don't know why I am surprised, but it felt less relevant. It is not what is needed now.<br/>
<br/>
But it was originally written as a commencement speech. And, lo and behold, we are in the throes of commencement season. And this is a commencement of sorts...<br/>
<br/>
So, given my timeless love for <a href='http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXyIa8VIOAKdNku3ELa1UdqHAbKoA-08Q'>commencement addresses</a>, here is my address to the Second Set of Baby Steps Class of 2014!<br/>
<br/>
<a href='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-z-kdkdXmFD0/U4Zcp2Hox-I/AAAAAAAAIjg/joXC21cwdso/s2560/1401314469910.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-z-kdkdXmFD0/U4Zcp2Hox-I/AAAAAAAAIjg/joXC21cwdso/s640/1401314469910.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
Let me preface this by saying that by no means do I expect us to be done walking these particular baby steps. I suspect that life comes in circles, of confidence and insecurity, of beginnings and endings, and that any of us may find ourselves retracing some steps at any point in our lives. This isn't a bad thing; there is comfort in familiarity, and we can only hope that some things get easier the second time around!<br/>
<br/>
I also have few hopes of avoiding cliches in this commencement. Cliches were something I was determined to avoid the last time around, and giving advice is another. It would have been disingenuous, I thought, to presume to have any answers. Which says a lot about where I was at the time, metaphysically.<br/>
<br/>
What I hoped to leave my audience with in May of 2011 was courage, and permission to enjoy the uncertain days to come. Because this is what I needed to hear. I was overwhelmed with uncertainty and the overwhelming message of the time was, <i>"You will do great things."</i> Not exactly the best combination, and I harbored a lot of resentment toward different people and systems and institutions because of it.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Of course we need courage and good humor now as much as ever, but there are fewer loose ends in my life now, fewer surprises, and I guess I am getting used to the long-term insecurity of being alive and maintaining my middle-class status.<br/>
<br/>
I think that is an important message for graduates: life isn't fun and games, and a lot of it is out of our control. But <i>we</i> are the ones who choose how we approach it, which parts to focus on, which parts to accept and foster. This, I believe, is the difference between a happy person and an unhappy one, and this is where courage and good humor come in handy. And maybe faith as well. The courage to do what we need to do, to overcome hesitations and sally forth into the unknown; the good humor to rise from a particularly nasty fall, <i>especially</i> when everyone is watching; and the faith to believe in ourselves, in what we are doing and the paths we are on.<br/>
<br/>
So here is my hope now: that no matter what happens, we will never let the world steal our souls or crush our spirits; that we never give up on happiness, on the power of good to win out, if only in small ways.<br/>
<br/>
I hope we keep dreaming, and that we put work into bringing these dreams a little bit closer to fruition, even if it takes our lifetimes and our children's lifetimes to happen.<br/>
<br/>
I will continue to pray for peace, in the world and in all of our hearts.<br/>
<br/>
I hope we never give up on finding beauty in the world, and if it ever seems like a hopeless cause, that we set ourselves to the task of creating some.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
We have to be committed to our best life, the best versions of ourselves. Nothing happens, or works, unless we choose it, stubbornly and decisively: not a successful relationship (with human, god, or animal), not a dream job, not a delicious homecooked dinner, not a single post on this blog, or its graceful finish. The things that are important, and meaningful, and worth living for - those things are not mistakes. They cannot be mistakes.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
This is not <i>happily ever after</i>. It's not a happy ending. Life is not that clear-cut. The story doesn't end just because the narrator stops telling it (or pauses to catch her breath). It just calls on the readers for a little imagination, to bring it to life in other ways, beyond the back cover.<br/>
<br/>
Please, readers, graduates, baby step-takers, President of the Board - breathe life into this life. Breathe life into the steps you take beyond this grand finale, beyond the pomp and circumstance. <br/>
<br/>
<a href='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Y1Iys8elm2A/U4Zco6YhPVI/AAAAAAAAIjQ/omu0RwB8o6A/s2560/1401314464122.png' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Y1Iys8elm2A/U4Zco6YhPVI/AAAAAAAAIjQ/omu0RwB8o6A/s640/1401314464122.png' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
I know I will.<br/>
<br/>
Until we meet again...<br/>
xoxo<br/>
Clara<br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-84611149277963942542014-05-25T20:33:00.001-04:002014-05-25T20:33:40.666-04:00all good things: the final countdown<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><i>All Good Things started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. <br/>
<br/>
After a conversation on the phone earlier this week, we suddenly realized that Twitter is the perfect platform to carry on the blog! Don't be alarmed, if you are not on Twitter or don't understand how it works. You don't need an account to keep up with us; just go to <a href='http://twitter.com/10allgoodthings'>our Twitter page</a> whenever you want to catch up on our list, which we will update throughout the week. If you already use Twitter, follow us <a href='http://twitter.com/10allgoodthings'>@10AllGoodThings</a> and tweet your good things at us!<br/>
<br/>
But for now, sit back and enjoy this final week of All Good Things on the blog!</i><br/>
<br/>
1. <b>Song of the week:</b> <a href='http://youtu.be/VcjzHMhBtf0'><i>Don't Stop Believing</i> by Journey</a>. A) because AGT has lasted and continues to last for so long. B) because I found my Soc/Anthro journey paper the other day and was cracking up about titling the paper after a Journey song. (Props to Tom for that awesome suggestion). <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
2. <b>Sleeping in!</b> Melville has been waking me up at dawn for the past few months, but this weekend she's let me sleep in. You know you're living large when 7 am feels like sleeping in. However, now that I don't get to sleep past 6 very often I get to watch the sunrise almost everyday. I do enjoy more sleep, but sitting on a grassy hill watching the sunrise with a furry pup is a great start to my workday. <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
3. <b>Enjoying the little things.</b> Most of my recent good things have been about my dog, and it's because she has made me stop to enjoy many things I take for granted. Car rides are so fun for her that they become fun for me, finding a shady spot to sit down is like winning the jackpot, and she always says hi to everyone. I'm a lot less focused on my small little world and more open to what's around me. <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<a href='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-WGlBuh1ZxS8/U4KL2cDKmkI/AAAAAAAAIeQ/Rz8r2gicniw/s2560/1401064403503.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-WGlBuh1ZxS8/U4KL2cDKmkI/AAAAAAAAIeQ/Rz8r2gicniw/s640/1401064403503.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
4. <b>Taking time to talk with neighbors.</b> Now that we've moved (same neighborhood, closer to Lake Harriet) we have some nice neighbors that like to chat. I was annoyed at first because "I have things to do!" (See above). But now that I've stopped to take the time to chat with them I've realized how awesome people can be. There's Gloria who knows what's going on in everyone's lives, Larry who knows everyone by their pet's name, and Ethan the 3-year-old that likes to randomly knock on our door to say hello. <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
5. <b><a href='http://www.marylandzoo.org/event/bbt-presents-brew-zoo/'>Brew at the Zoo</a>.</b> Every Memorial Day weekend the Baltimore Zoo hosts a big beer festival, with unlimited samples from craft breweries, lots of food, and great summer music. And of course the Zoo is open so you can go see the animals. We tasted lots of awesome beers (some highlights: the jalapeno IPA from <a href='http://www.jailbreakbrewing.com/'>Jailbreak</a>, Dirty Little Freak stout from DuClaw, awesome grilled cheese sandwiches, and everything from <a href='http://www.thebrewersart.com/'>The Brewer's Art</a>). J's friend Dae came up and met us there, and it's been awhile since we saw him so that was nice too. And the weather was perfect! <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<a href='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Cdj0_zXqnZw/U4KL4dYiwBI/AAAAAAAAIeY/FwbT0zUiM1o/s2560/1401064412077.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Cdj0_zXqnZw/U4KL4dYiwBI/AAAAAAAAIeY/FwbT0zUiM1o/s640/1401064412077.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
6. <b>Fresh mint infusion.</b> I took a sprig of mint from our plant this week and put it in a jar with a little bit of honey to make sun tea. When I took it from the fridge later in the week it was the most refreshing thing to drink, cool and fresh and almost tingly. Plus the mint sprigs looked so beautiful in the jar! <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
7. <b>Sodastream.</b> I get bored drinking plain water all the time, but we spend an extraneous amount of money on sparkling water. So when I was clearing out my email inbox this week, I noticed an awesome sale on Sodastream machines at Bed Bath & Beyond and we went out and got one. Now we can carbonate our own water, and we are excited to make homemade ginger ale and strawberry basil soda. Next on my list is to make my own tonic syrup! <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
8. <b>Scrumptious.</b> On Wednesday night as a reward for figuring out how to stream audio in <a href='http://secondsetofbabysteps.blogspot.com/2014/05/an-interview-about-second-set-of-baby.html'>a blog post</a>, I decided I wanted froyo. So we went to a new place in Trolley Square that is super cute and had some nice frozen yogurt.<br/>
<br/>
Other worthwhile eating happened this weekend at Golden West and the Red Canoe, both in Baltimore, and...<br/>
<br/>
9. <b>Grilling out.</b> After Brew at the Zoo we went back to Lisa's to grill brats and pineapple with the gang. I totally forgot to take a picture of it, unfortunately, but it was DELICIOUS (thanks Dae and J for getting the grill going). And of course, even if it wasn't delicious, everything tastes better when you're sharing it with good friends on a holiday weekend. It was such a harmonious food prep situation too, which made it even better. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
10. <b>Bonus song of the week:</b> <a href='http://youtu.be/IGMabBGydC0'><i>Send Me On My Way</i> by Rusted Root</a>. I'm pretty sure this was our last song on KSTO, too. It's just such a perfect fit, and a hands-down classic feel-good jam.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
* * * * * * *<br/>
THANK YOU, readers, for being with us tonight and every Sunday for the past few years. Thank you for your support and your positive energy. It has meant the world to both of us to be able to keep this up, and to have a wonderful community to share it with.<br/>
<br/>
A note from Cassie: "I've been so happy to be able to add my AGTs to this blog. This list has become so important to me. I take a good half hour on Sundays picking things to write about. Some weeks it's really hard: like the week my aunt passed away. Some weeks it's easy: marrying Luke was pretty nice :) But knowing I can always find good things for the list reminds me that I can always find good things out of every situation. I'm so glad this is continuing in another form!"<br/>
<br/>
The Good Things will keep rolling on Twitter <a href='http://twitter.com/10allgoodthings'>@AllGoodThings</a>, so be sure to join us there and share your happy moments and favorite songs with us there! <br/>
<br/>
Also, don't forget to be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile every day :)<br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-23814839374473015982014-05-21T19:37:00.001-04:002014-05-21T19:37:04.191-04:00an interview about the second set of baby steps<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>Three or four months ago my friend Marina and I recorded an audio interview about the blog. Marina studied business and political journalism in Moscow, and hosted a radio interview show when she interned in broadcast media. When she said she wanted to think about starting a podcast, and asked if she could interview me about <i>second set of baby steps</i>, something stirred in me.<br/>
<br/>
A flashback to the KSTO days, maybe, or to conducting interviews for research projects; a chance to collaborate on a creative project; an opportunity for some guided reflection on my blogging experience, just as I was starting to think about wrapping it up.<br/>
<br/>
We got sidetracked in the middle and started talking about gender roles, and the changing experience of gender from our grandmothers' time through our mothers' to ours; because this is a relevant and ever-present element of adult life. But we got back to the blog topic at the end.<br/>
<br/>
I remember driving home, feeling energized by the creativity and interactivity of the process and focused in where the blog was headed in the last few months, in how I wanted to approach it. I really believe that evening was a turning point in this project, and it started to take on a different life for me from that point forward.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
So I am glad, now, at this final moment, on the second-to-last week of the <i>second set of baby steps,</i> to be able to share it with you. A big thanks to Marina for questioning me (constantly, off and on the air, even when I don't exactly welcome it) and for recording and editing our audio to be posted here.<br/>
<br/>
<iframe src='https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/150658750&amp;color=ff5500&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_artwork=true' frameborder='no' scrolling='no' height='166' width='100%'/><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<i>The background music is community audio from http://torley.com/176-lovely-solo-piano-music-pieces-for-your-enjoyment</i><br/>
<br/>
<a href='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-rAQwVtvANjI/U304nNRMLtI/AAAAAAAAIbc/uD_2xFsMkIg/s2560/1400715418056.png' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-rAQwVtvANjI/U304nNRMLtI/AAAAAAAAIbc/uD_2xFsMkIg/s640/1400715418056.png' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-64055702548684174952014-05-18T20:08:00.001-04:002014-05-18T20:08:02.598-04:00all good things: let's get together<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><i>All Good Things started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. <br/>
<br/>
Cassie and I are talking about how to keep the good things rolling after the blog ends. So far we've thought about using a Facebook page or group, but we're definitely open to other ideas! If you think of anything (or any good things!), share it with us in the comments.<br/>
<br/>
But for now, sit back and enjoy this week's top 10!</i><br/>
<br/>
1. <b>Song of the week:</b> <a href='http://youtu.be/BB7R0ZY9w94'><i>Sleeping With A Friend</i> by Neon Trees</a>. Is this the most catchy song on the airwaves right now or what?<br/>
<br/>
2. <b>My brother got married this weekend.</b> It was at Gustavus as that's where he met his wife. The ceremony was really pretty and everyone had a great time. I'm pretty tired after the long weekend, but I'm glad their weekend went so well. <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
3. <b>Grandmas.</b> I'm bringing back an old AGT from the radio days! Grandmas are the best. I stayed in a room with my grandparents this week and before I went to bed she tucked me in and kissed my forehead. It was adorable :) <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
4. <b>The new Beck album.</b> It's really calming, and I've enjoyed listening to it while I work. His music is always best when he's been sad and this isn't different. So don't listen to it to cheer up! <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
5. <b>The new Gmail tabs.</b> I changed my Gmail settings to automatically categorize my emails as they come in, so I don't have to weed through everything to find important emails from friends and family. I might actually start checking my email again now that I can ignore mass emails trying to sell me something... <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
6. <b>Snapchats of cheesy singing and dancing.</b> This week I sent a snapchat of myself singing Prince's <i>Kiss</i> and in response I got one of my favorite snapchats ever from a teacher friend dancing in her classroom to some wild dance music. So I've decided to send more of them and see what I get back! <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
7. <b>We surprised one of J's old friends with a birthday dinner at Red Robin last night.</b> It's been over a year since we've seen him, and in that time he got engaged and we hadn't met his fiancee yet! So she got in contact with J's brother and they set up a surprise dinner for him. We could tell by his face that he was really surprised and really happy to see the guys. And his fiancee was super sweet. We were all glad to meet her. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
8. <b>Hearing stories from a new perspective.</b> On Monday night, at my Grampa's request, my family had J's family over for dinner, and I overheard Grampa and J's dad exchanging versions of the "how the kids met" story. Specifically, there was one time before J and I ever went out that I stopped into the coffeeshop when his parents happened to have also stopped by... And while J and I have told the story tons of times to different people, I haven't heard anyone else tell the story before. It was a new perspective and it was really funny to hear it from a different angle. <br/>
<br/>
Plus plenty of other stories, becauses both of our families have more than enough stories to fill the time. They're all great :)<i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
9. <b><a href='http://woodsidefarmcreamery.com/'>Woodside Creamery</a>.</b> It's ice cream season again! Today we went to the local creamery, said "hey" to the cows, and got a couple scoops in pretzel cones. Yum. Very possibly the most delicious ice cream ever. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
10. <b>Yesterday was J's niece's first birthday,</b> so I pulled out all my stuffed animals and we put party hats on them, and made them sing happy birthday (badly). So funny. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<a href='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-qQMZgFk5Zd4/U3lLXYYSAOI/AAAAAAAAIY4/_T_MU7Hcm24/s2560/1400458008636.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-qQMZgFk5Zd4/U3lLXYYSAOI/AAAAAAAAIY4/_T_MU7Hcm24/s640/1400458008636.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
<i>* * * * * * *<br/>
Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for! <br/>
<br/>
Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!</i><br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-72783281054090874172014-05-14T13:32:00.001-04:002014-05-14T13:32:03.790-04:00the third set of baby steps<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>A writer friend asked me last week, "Why are you ending the blog?"<br/>
<br/>
I gave my standard answer: "It's becoming more of a drain than something productive. I want to open up space for the next thing."<br/>
<br/>
He nodded. "Another phase."<br/>
<br/>
"Right!"<br/>
<br/>
"Well," he said as he walked away, "maybe we can look forward to the Third Set of Baby Steps."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
I can't honestly say that the second set is over, that I'm done figuring out how to be "grown up" in this wild world. I <i>am</i> infinitely more comfortable in my new adult skin than I was three years ago, or even two... And if I've figured out anything it's to let it roll, to not try to control the forces that are beyond my control but make the best of them, to approach everything with a sense of humor, and to make an effort to keep people I like in my life.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
If I am entering a "new phase," it may be one where things don't change as much, or I just don't notice it... And I like it! It's predictable and not exhausting. The other day I said, "Everything that happened used to be so much more earth-shattering."<br/>
<br/>
And my soon-to-be sister-in-law laughed and said, "Welcome to adulthood."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
At the same time, things are starting to change in a big way. We are running out of room on our fridge for all the engagement announcements, save-the-dates, wedding invitations, and birth announcements. <br/>
<a href='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-c66Nq1HjZOs/U3OojFHnsXI/AAAAAAAAIUo/0Mm9A-KsTTE/s2560/1400088707553.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-c66Nq1HjZOs/U3OojFHnsXI/AAAAAAAAIUo/0Mm9A-KsTTE/s640/1400088707553.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a> <br/>
J and I are looking forward to <i>three</i> weddings this year, and one of us is in the wedding party for every one of them. I've got at least one friend looking to buy a house within the next year, and I have at least two cousins whose babies are due in October alone. Some of my friends are starting to <i>finish</i> grad programs (an old friend of mine is actually walking today for her master's) and beginning some serious long-anticipated professional careers. I've started getting LinkedIn notifications for friends changing jobs or getting promotions at a faster pace, and each notification has more people listed in it.<br/>
<br/>
So the third set of baby steps must be marriage and babies and houses and pets and the white picket fence (or our generation's version of it). This is the beginning of a whole new learning curve for me, a new kind of interaction with my family, my friends, my job, with J... and with the greater world. If life in general, and "the new adult experience," now turns up fewer earth-shattering moments, fewer curveballs, fewer issues that need working through, then this blog is about to take a different turn. <br/>
<br/>
Maybe I'll be back online someday, and maybe not. But for now, I'll be busy watching where I'm walking, and taking notes.<br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-16036225562538382142014-05-11T21:59:00.001-04:002014-05-11T21:59:24.214-04:00all good things: the art of living<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><i>All Good Things started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. <br/>
<br/>
Cassie and I are talking about how to keep the good things rolling after the blog ends. So far we've thought about using a Facebook page or group, but we're definitely open to other ideas! If you think of anything (or any good things!), share it with us in the comments.<br/>
<br/>
But for now, sit back and enjoy this week's top 10!</i><br/>
<br/>
1. <b>Song of the week:</b> <a href='http://youtu.be/scHS8YaYoRA'><i>Sing</i> by Ed Sheeran</a>. J has been suggesting this song for weeks now and I haven't really heard it 'til now. But it's definitely a feel-good jam for the ages!<br/>
<br/>
2. <b>Monday morning yoga.</b> I always feel looser and more centered when I start the week with yoga class. Plus the group is really congenial, and there is a surprising number of men in the class. And not your typical yoga men: many of them are retired or close to it, and many of them only started doing yoga a year or two ago. They are doing yoga because it's good for them, and they are acutely aware of how important it is to do things that are good for them, mind and body. It really puts things in perspective for me, and it makes the class fun because nobody takes themselves too seriously!<br/>
<br/>
3. <b>African food.</b> Last week when my mom was away, my parents' houseguest/roommate Smyle (who is from Ghana) made a traditional African meal for my dad and me. It consisted of seasoned rice pilaf, a spicy meat stew, greens, and fried sweet plantains. She made an enormous amount of food and forced me to take a lot of it home, so I finished the last of the leftovers this week and it has been a very savory time for my weekday lunches!<br/>
<br/>
4. <b>Open mic night at the <a href='http://www.newarkartsalliance.org'>Newark Arts Alliance</a>.</b> I've been meaning to go to this for easily over a year now, and finally Marina and I made it - late, of course (my fault), but we made it! The sign-up sheet landed in my hands and I spontaneously decided to read a couple of poems. I was in great company with some other very talented artists, and it reminded me how refreshing and important it is to be in community with people who create things. We will be going back.<br/>
<br/>
5. <b>Yard work.</b> J has been doing a lot of work getting our backyard into presentable shape, and it's starting to show. He even got me out the other day and I must admit that gardening is a really rewarding activity.<br/>
<br/>
6. <b>Rhubarb cake.</b> We got a big bunch of fresh rhubarb and some beautiful asparagus in our CSA this week - a combination that reminded me of Sunny V. So in honor of that first summer I got the Sunny V Rhubarb Cake recipe from Ann's grandmother, and it was just as delicious as it was the first time...with the added seasoning of nostalgia. I know it was good, though, because when I left for the weekend on Friday there was half a pan left, and when I got back it was gone. <a href='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-dL_shRQjub4/U3Aq8jp-2RI/AAAAAAAAIP8/vsIj5vx7fTA/s2560/1399859950292.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-dL_shRQjub4/U3Aq8jp-2RI/AAAAAAAAIP8/vsIj5vx7fTA/s640/1399859950292.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
7. <b>The beach.</b> So where did I go this weekend? We rented a little house in Ocean City, Maryland, for my friend Kristy's bachelorette party. The house was adorable, the weather was perfect, and the weekend was exactly what it should have been. On Saturday we spent a few hours lying on the beach, and even though I didn't bring my bathing suit I decided I needed to go in the water. Really, swimming in the ocean is one of the most cleansing experiences I can think of.<br/>
<br/>
8. <b>The Applebee's in OC.</b> Our first stop on Saturday night was Applebee's for drinks and apps, because the Bride loves Applebee's. It was sort of a joke, but it really couldn't have turned out better. It was the biggest and nicest Applebee's most of us had ever seen, and you would have thought we hired our waitress specially for the event. As soon as we sat down she started cracking jokes and providing a running commentary on everything, like a personal stand-up comedy routine. Plus, the drink I got there won for the night. I forget what it's called, but it's new on the menu. It has Absolut Citron, fresh basil and strawberries, lime juice, and club soda. Super refreshing and delicious.<br/>
<br/>
We also got a photo with the cardboard cutout of the Most Interesting Man. Win.<br/>
<br/>
9. <b>Families.</b> Since it's Mothers' Day, I'll narrow it down to mothers. But I specifically mean the way families come together. This week's Sunday dinner was cooked by the kids in honor of the mothers, and of course the baby was there, and her mom and both of her grandmothers. It's a great group.<br/>
<br/>
And tomorrow, we're having dinner at my parents' house, and J's family is coming over to meet my Grampa, so we will get to doubly celebrate so many moms and it's always good company!<br/>
<br/>
10. <b>Postcards.</b> I came home to an awesome postcard from a friend I haven't heard from in awhile, and it reminded me that I have a bunch of blank postcards waiting to be sent. I love postcards because they are so simple and elegant: a picture, a short note that is not as big of a commitment to sit down and write, and a lovely way to drop a line to say "I'm thinking about you!"<br/>
<a href='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ftPkWoYf6wk/U3Aq-l09TUI/AAAAAAAAIQE/32wvwPgx6P4/s2560/1399859956774.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ftPkWoYf6wk/U3Aq-l09TUI/AAAAAAAAIQE/32wvwPgx6P4/s640/1399859956774.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
<i>* * * * * * *<br/>
Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for! <br/>
<br/>
Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!</i><br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-80748505716670086072014-05-07T17:49:00.001-04:002014-05-07T17:49:09.085-04:00curriculum vitae<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>I'm sure we've all heard about the big "Milennial Problem" of highly educated young people being chronically underemployed - and I know all too well that for some of my closest and most respected peers this phenomenon strikes very close to home. And I have talked to almost every person I know about the infamous Experience Condundrum: You need 2-3 years of experience before you can get the 2-3 years of experience you need to start a career.<br/>
<a href='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-JxA7wb554AM/U2qqUq4DavI/AAAAAAAAINM/Lwq7kOm1JJA/s2560/1399499345552.png' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-JxA7wb554AM/U2qqUq4DavI/AAAAAAAAINM/Lwq7kOm1JJA/s640/1399499345552.png' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
A month or two ago I was talking to one of my good friends about this, and about finding direction. She could be considered in the "chronically underemployed" category, despite the fact that she is brilliant, intrepid, and one of the hardest, most dedicated workers I know. <br/>
<br/>
I'll admit this isn't an entirely fair categorization, because she works at least 3 or 4 very demanding jobs, as well as traveling, volunteering, taking classes, and working on personal projects on the side, and has recently been accepted into grad school. She also lives on her own and supports herself.<br/>
<br/>
But she is not doing what she wants to be doing, and most of her job requirements are not related to her course of study or academic interests. And as someone who has been in the position of evaluating resumes and even making hiring decisions on occasion, I know that having gaps in your resume or having plenty of work experience outside of the field can raise some questions in the minds of interviewers that won't exactly help your cause. <br/>
<br/>
To my friend's credit, she has been going to incredible lengths to flesh out her resume and rack up some really desirable job skills, even if it means volunteering or taking unpaid internships alongside work that pays the bills. She's also managing to keep a really positive attitude about the whole thing, and said to me, "Life is short...but it's not THAT short. We can be strategic. And I'm taking the term <i>curriculum vitae</i> literally." <br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<i>Curriculum vitae</i> translates to something like "the course of one's life," and in the modern American business world it usually refers to a brief summary of professional experience, a little more in-depth or touchy-feely than a resume, maybe (according to <a href='http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curriculum_vitae'>Wikipedia</a>). <br/>
<br/>
But the poetry in what she said struck home for me: She's building a <i>"living resume"</i>, bringing her education to life. I think it's a beautiful phrase to encompass this <i>second set of baby steps</i> that we are all taking out of college and toward the End Goal, whatever that is.<br/>
<br/>
For me I think the End Goal is finding an End Goal. How many of us actually know "what we want to be when we grow up"? Does my ideal job description actually exist? And if so, is it reachable for me, from where I am now? Would another degree or strategic networking or a hefty raise get me any closer to my dream life?<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
It sounds cheesy, but in the meantime I'm slowly working toward a degree in "Life." The important part of my experience has far more to do with the non-linear accounts of the things I do at work, and how I choose to spend my time outside work, than it does with my to-do list or a list of classes I've taken or my official job description(s).<br/>
<br/>
I learn something new every day, whether the source is a human interest story on NPR or a new scientific report; an online article or a book I'm reading or a conversation with a new friend or an old friend or someone in the locker room at the Y; yoga class or work or a writers' meetup.<br/>
<a href='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-LD3B6aterHk/U2qqR36pyzI/AAAAAAAAINA/v6hU-ubtUGg/s2560/1399499331590.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-LD3B6aterHk/U2qqR36pyzI/AAAAAAAAINA/v6hU-ubtUGg/s640/1399499331590.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
And I'm thinking about this, too, as my youngest sister sent her enrollment deposit to St. Olaf for September. It continues to amaze me how that haphazard decision I made when I was 17 has affected the course of my life since then, and the person that I am now. The curriculum vitae for my college experience, the summer after senior year, my current job, and living in Wilmington, are permanently infused into my developing vocation, my writing, and the course of my life from here on out.<br/>
<br/>
<a href='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-w3JHH-SBf_I/U2qqT8eDGDI/AAAAAAAAINI/NNwfFU1x8lM/s2560/1399499338940.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-w3JHH-SBf_I/U2qqT8eDGDI/AAAAAAAAINI/NNwfFU1x8lM/s640/1399499338940.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-85657274029124950042014-05-04T20:30:00.001-04:002014-05-07T11:55:09.401-04:00all good things: the men and women (and dogs) in our lives<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
<i>All Good Things started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. We both contribute things to the list, so I'll tell you who said what to avoid confusion.<br />
<br />
Cassie and I are talking about how to keep the good things rolling after the blog ends. So far we've thought about using a Facebook page or group, but we're definitely open to other ideas! If you think of anything (or any good things!), share it with us in the comments.<br />
<br />
But for now, sit back and enjoy this week's top 10!</i><br />
<br />
1. <b>Song of the week:</b> <a href="http://youtu.be/4Rg58539Rk8"><i>Push the Button</i> by Sugababes</a>. This song was in the movie <i>About Time</i>, which was my obsession a few weeks ago. And since then, I've been hearing this song everywhere. It's just super poppy and catchy.<br />
<br />
2. <b>Melv learned to stick her head out the window this week.</b> There is something about the complete joy a dog has while their head is out the window. It reminds me to enjoy the little things! Also, she is completely adorable and tries to eat the air. I'm laughing just thinking about it. <i>- Cassie</i> <a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-7PPUuyBPMcg/U2bbqhSCoiI/AAAAAAAAIKY/Ziz7YHMHIIs/s2560/1399249833683.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-7PPUuyBPMcg/U2bbqhSCoiI/AAAAAAAAIKY/Ziz7YHMHIIs/s640/1399249833683.jpeg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />
<br />
3. <b>Impromptu friend gatherings.</b> Last night was one of those nights when you plan to do something, that falls through, and something else more fun crops up. Randomly had 3 good friends over for appetizers, wine, and card games. We had the best time. It also combined college and high school friends which is such a fun experience. <i>- Cassie</i><br />
<br />
4. <b>New phone!</b> I'm not much of a technology whiz (read: I depend totally on Luke for techie things). So when I got an iPhone 2 years ago it was a huge upgrade! I was pretty sure I'd always appreciate how wonderful it was. Fast forward 2 years: my phone is slow to access the internet, send texts, and make calls. I'm frustrated :) So my contract expired and Luke surprised me with a brand new phone this week! I'm using it to write this and loving every minute. <i>- Cassie</i><br />
<br />
5. <b>Rooftop deck.</b> My new apartment building had a rooftop deck. For some reason it's always vacant! On Friday evening I spent a few hours enjoying a brisk wind, warm tea, and Middlemarch up there. It's so rare to find an unoccupied, peaceful area in the middle of Minneapolis so I was soaking it up. <i>- Cassie</i><br />
<br />
6. <b>New furniture!</b> When we moved into the new house in November, and couldn't get the queen-sized box springs up the stairs, I asked my dad and brother to adapt the homemade wooden frame that was left by the previous tenants to fit on the headboard that I had. Instead, they designed a whole new modular bedframe/box spring that comes apart and can be carried piece by piece through narrow hallways to be assembled on-site. This weekend it was finished and they came over to put it together and it is beautiful and way more awesome than the old utilitarian frame we had before!<br />
<a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-QAaKWhJjcZs/U2bbms8ItlI/AAAAAAAAIKM/oz3vfkCcUzU/s2560/1399249813998.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-QAaKWhJjcZs/U2bbms8ItlI/AAAAAAAAIKM/oz3vfkCcUzU/s640/1399249813998.jpeg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />
Plus, my grandpa built me a dresser as a graduation present, but it's been sitting in his shop for three years waiting to be carted out here. When J and I got engaged, he built another matching one, so he drove out here last week with the two dressers in tow, and they have now also found their way to our home. They are also beautiful and all the drawers work great! (I'm not used to that anymore!) <i>- Clara</i> <a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Qdl9P0q5oLQ/U2bboSKDryI/AAAAAAAAIKU/KFbn_o-xNsk/s2560/1399249821267.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Qdl9P0q5oLQ/U2bboSKDryI/AAAAAAAAIKU/KFbn_o-xNsk/s640/1399249821267.jpeg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />
<br />
7. <b>The men in my family.</b> So you pretty much got the gist of this one, but my dad, brother, and grandpa are pretty cool dudes. They all thrive on having projects and they all like helping me and other people out with stuff, and coming up with really creative solutions to everyday problems. Plus they are all very smart and interesting and it's really a treat to watch them work and talk to them about stuff. (Sometimes I try to help, but usually they are just running circles around me so I'm not sure how much of a help I really am!)<br />
<br />
Also, it's cool to throw J into the mix and they all seem to get along and get things done together. <i>- Clara</i><br />
<br />
8. <b>There's another Ole in the family!</b> My baby sister (who is now 18) sent her enrollment deposit to St. Olaf this week! I do really want her to choose the place she wants to go, and not feel like she has to go to the same place as both of her sisters, but it has been so cool talking to Maria about St. Olaf and I'm excited to be able to talk to Asha about it too. I think college will be a good change for her. <i>- Clara</i><br />
<br />
9. <b>The women in my family.</b> I have to say, it's not just the men that are great. The women are also smart and interesting and good at a lot of things, so I'm glad to have my mom and Asha back from India safely. Plus now we can hang out!<br />
<br />
I also think I'm allowed to count J's mom in this category now. She's also really smart and interesting and we went over to help in the garden yesterday, which was a cool experience. She was just telling us what to do and I actually learned a lot in just an afternoon. And then she bought us pizza!<i>- Clara</i><br />
<br />
10. <b>Brunch, and meeting new friends over brunch!</b> One of my friends recently won teacher of the month from one of the local radio stations, and the prize is a brunch for four at one of the country clubs. Now, this brunch is famous, and when you go in you see why. There are almost too many stations to count, and everything is delicious. The bloody marys and mimosas are excellent, and even the coffee is above par. And I met someone new, a friend of my teacher friend, who is smart and interesting and actually has a lot of shared interests with me. Great brunch, great company. Can't beat that! <i>- Clara</i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yH9JjhnFq9g/U2pXRmCXKmI/AAAAAAAAIMw/CQlRXkVhpRM/s1600/20140504_120517.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yH9JjhnFq9g/U2pXRmCXKmI/AAAAAAAAIMw/CQlRXkVhpRM/s1600/20140504_120517.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<i>* * * * * * *<br />
Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for! <br />
<br />
Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!</i><br />
<div align="right" style="font-size: xx-small;">
posted from <a href="https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger">Bloggeroid</a></div>
</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-26692995524093287452014-04-30T18:24:00.001-04:002014-04-30T18:24:28.358-04:00the end is nigh<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><a href='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-nE7TTFZOg2M/U2F4DmHJv7I/AAAAAAAAIIg/0evv8veoFf8/s2560/1398896651844.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-nE7TTFZOg2M/U2F4DmHJv7I/AAAAAAAAIIg/0evv8veoFf8/s640/1398896651844.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a> It's April thirtieth. A month from now the blog will be done. After tonight there will be four more Wednesday night reflections, and four more Sunday night All Good Things lists.<br/>
<br/>
I don't know if I'm ready.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
But really, will I ever be ready? I almost wrote the second sentence as: <i>"A month from now Second Set of Baby Steps will be done."</i> But <i>that</i> statement isn't true. The second set of baby steps I've been taking, and writing about, over the past three years are not going to stop when I stop writing about them. In fact, I could argue that life is really just one long series of baby steps. We just learn how to walk in different ways, different contexts. Like learning to walk on carpet and hardwood floor and grass and sand and cobblestones.<br/>
<br/>
I don't feel ready to stop writing, but I'm not filled with anxiety about it, either. It's like shedding an old skin to make way for a new one (not that I know what that feels like, actually; I'm just guessing). I'm a little worried that maybe the new skin won't grow in all the way, or that it will be ugly or uncomfortable. But skins have been shed for centuries and continue to be shed, so chances are it will turn out just fine. <br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<h3>Things I'm Afraid Of In The Post-Blog World</h3><br/>
<br/>
1. <b>Not writing.</b> What will happen when I take away the commitment I've made to write twice a week? What will happen when I no longer have a huge dedicated fan following holding me accountable and waiting for my posts every week? (Shhh, just let me believe what I need to believe, guys...) What if I stop writing altogether?<br/>
<br/>
I know what you're thinking: <i>That's easy, slacker. Stop trying to get out of it. Just make a commitment to keep writing. That's that.</i><br/>
<br/>
2. <b>Losing one of my major coping mechanisms.</b> On a serious note, the blog has been my journal over the past few years. I started it as a venue for working through tough adult issues in a public way, in hopes that it would help me and my fellow graduates, and it has definitely done that, if the responses I've gotten are any indication. And I hoped that it would keep us connected, so we could help each other through it.<br/>
<br/>
What I didn't foresee happening was how the blog helped me stay positive through all the struggles. I felt like I had to end every post on a high note, or at least an optimistic one... And actually managed to convince myself most of the time!<br/>
<br/>
3. <b>Falling out of touch.</b> This one, I think, is most likely to come true. Since graduation, when I meet up with people I went to school with, someone I'm not regularly in touch with will inevitably say, "So, what's up? I mean, I read your blog, but what <i>don't</i> you write about? What do you <i>really</i> think about things?"<br/>
<br/>
Some posts have prompted out-of-touch friends to send me a message or start a conversation. Others brought outpourings of support from all corners. Some even spurred deeper relationships with people who were only acquaintances before.<br/>
<br/>
4. <b>Going dull.</b> Overall, the blog has been the fuel for deep, broad, engaging, life-changing conversations and ideas that I had in abundance when I was in school, but have had a harder time sustaining since. I'm just now starting to find these conversations in person again, here. Maybe it's that I've been here long enough to develop that depth of relationship, or maybe I'm just getting more comfortable starting those conversations myself.<br/>
<br/>
But what if, when I have no regular commitment to explore deeper issues, those habits fade and those parts of my brain start to dissolve?<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
* * * * * * *<br/>
So, here is my commitment to try and prevent these, my worst post-apocalyptic fears, from coming true.<br/>
<br/>
<h3>Things I Will Do Instead Of Blogging</h3><br/>
<br/>
1. <b>Help J cook dinner instead of hurrying up to finish my posts before date night can start.</b> I'm not proud of this, but it happens. Maybe when I have dedicated my Wednesday nights to only <i>one</i> thing (pro tip) I'll be a little better.<br/>
<br/>
2. <b>Check my email.</b> Maybe. Maybe I'll even respond to some of them!<br/>
<br/>
3. <b>Read books!</b> So into this lately. My stack is still growing, but for the first time since high school I'm actually putting a dent in it.<br/>
<a href='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-AlExgKNpMZE/U2F4GUPtJmI/AAAAAAAAIIw/_GmbjFUzyxE/s2560/1398896662366.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-AlExgKNpMZE/U2F4GUPtJmI/AAAAAAAAIIw/_GmbjFUzyxE/s640/1398896662366.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
4. <b>Write letters.</b> Another venue for those "big talks," maybe. Also Skype dates and Google Hangouts.<br/>
<br/>
5. <b>Start going to open mics and Delaware writers' meet-ups again.</b> I've gotten remiss, since most of the other writers have actual writing projects in the works, and I just have a blog that doesn't develop in a way that is easily talked about.<br/>
<br/>
6. <b>Think about taking classes or going to grad school.</b> I can hardly even sink my teeth into this one as things are now... I'm not committing to this, for the record - just to <i>considering</i> it.<br/>
<br/>
7. <b>Plan my wedding!</b> I should probably take this seriously...<br/>
<br/>
8. <b>Work on other projects.</b> I've got a lot of things lined up waiting for my attention, including but not limited to: <br/>
- finally starting work on my bottle-cap dry bar<br/>
- the poetry collection my boss has been pushing me to compile for two years now<br/>
- extending Girl Talk, my senior independent study project about the role talking plays in female friendships<br/>
- other mini/unscientific research projects that keep popping up<br/>
- an essay collection or series based roughly on the <i>baby steps</i> blog<br/>
- maybe actually finishing National Novel Writing Month for once<br/>
- or National Poetry Month<br/>
- building or finding some bookshelves<br/>
- doing art, to hang on my walls or send to far-off friends<br/>
- fixing or reappropriating some things that are broken, like jewelry and broken cups<br/>
- maybe turn the blog into a website<br/>
- put together the T-shirts I've been saving for years into a quilt<br/>
<br/>
<i>("Projects do be done" is always a list of its own...)</i><br/>
<a href='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-NEljShyRtpQ/U2F4FLQVkOI/AAAAAAAAIIk/BM5kjIN1kPg/s2560/1398896657365.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-NEljShyRtpQ/U2F4FLQVkOI/AAAAAAAAIIk/BM5kjIN1kPg/s640/1398896657365.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
* * * * * * *<br/>
It's been a long time coming, this end. And believe me when I say it's not an entirely easy or happy thing for me to do. But I hope it will be productive.<br/>
<br/>
One more month, readers. Let me know what you think about all this, how you feel about the blog ending, and what you want to read about in the final throes.<br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-16783693061326415742014-04-27T20:58:00.001-04:002014-04-27T20:58:53.128-04:00all good things: two hands, one beating heart<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><i>All Good Things started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. We both contribute things to the list, so I'll tell you who said what to avoid confusion.<br/>
<br/>
So set yourself up outside and enjoy this week's good things in the sun!</i><br/>
<br/>
1. <b>Song of the week:</b> <a href='http://youtu.be/5GBT37_yyzY'><i>Girls Chase Boys</i> by Ingrid Michaelson</a>. This one's dedicated to my roommate Katy, whose birthday was this week. She has been playing the song on repeat all weekend, while we prepped for the party and then cleaned up after it. I already love Ingrid Michaelson, but this song is such a feel-good anthem, catchy, poppy, upbeat... and the video is so great too. Obsessed. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
2. <b>My dad gave up his whole Saturday to fix our faucet.</b> The levers on our bathroom sink faucet have been missing since we moved in, which makes it incredibly hard to turn the water on and off when your hands are wet and soapy and slippery. We bought some knobs to try and screw on there, but it didn't work, so my dad spent his entire Saturday running around, finding parts, and installing a brand-new faucet for us. We already knew he was da bomb, but really. This is just beyond awesome. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
3. <b>Nora Lee's French Quarter Bistro.</b> J took me out to Old New Castle for date night this week, and we went to this excellent, pretty legit New Orleans-style restaurant. We drank Abita and ate blackened cajun everything, salmon and tuna and jambalaya and hush puppies. YUM. <i>- Clara</i> <a href='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-gBcpsMqsss4/U12nxqNebVI/AAAAAAAAIE0/NR5H_id88rc/s2560/1398646723088.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-gBcpsMqsss4/U12nxqNebVI/AAAAAAAAIE0/NR5H_id88rc/s640/1398646723088.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
4. <b>Sunday morning breakfast.</b> Luke and I had a lot of moving left to do from our old place today so we decided to get up early and head out to breakfast. We went to Turtle Bread, our favorite neighborhood spot. I had some amazing french toast, and Luke had salmon scramble. It was such a relaxing way to start a day of moving. Also, I'm still full 5 hours later so that's never bad either. <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
5. <b>Rainy afternoons.</b> Now that I have a dog, I'm not such a huge fan of rainy days. It involves lots of wet dog problems that are sort of annoying. BUT, there really is something about a rainy afternoon where the smell of the falling rain wafts in through the window while a Harry Potter marathon plays on ABC family and I sip a homemade latte. Hard to have negative feelings during those moments! <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
6. <b>Hosting family.</b> Luke and I had his parents over to stay for Easter weekend. I was pretty stressed going into it. We have a one-bedroom apartment, Luke's mom doesn't like dogs, and we were also having everyone in his family over for dinner on Friday night. Despite all my anxiety, things went really well! Everyone had a great time, and I really enjoyed having them stay here. <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
7. <b>Having my books with me in the new apartment.</b> During the move we decided books didn't need to be moved right away so we left them behind for the time being. We finally moved them to our new place, and I didn't realize how much I missed them! They add so much color and life to our apartment. <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
8. <b>NOT being on reality TV.</b> My friend Marina and I discovered a terrible reality show this week called <i>BridalPlasty</i>, which gathers 10 women into a house and makes them vote each other out, one by one. That's bad enough, but what they're competing for is a full-body plastic surgery makeover and a celebrity dream wedding completely paid for. Along the way they get to have minor procedures done, and have Botox parties. The one episode we watched was full of lines like, "Who <i>doesn't</i> want to have a few nips and tucks?" Me. I don't. I'm good, thanks. And I'm super thankful that I'm happy with my body just the way it is. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
9. <b><i>Divergent</i> by Veronica Roth.</b> This is our latest book club selection (which I would have tried to read even if we hadn't chosen it for discussion) and I just finished it this afternoon! So good. Can't wait to get my hands on the second book... <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<a href='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-3pZC25D8esw/U12nyrTrhgI/AAAAAAAAIE8/lhlf37RVf6s/s2560/1398646730486.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-3pZC25D8esw/U12nyrTrhgI/AAAAAAAAIE8/lhlf37RVf6s/s640/1398646730486.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
10. <b>Friends you can work with and play with.</b> Last night we had a bunch of people over, people we met at different places and do different things with. Some we work with and/or work out with and/or hang out with. It was cool getting everybody together in the same place with some shared interests (food, drinks, and games) and when I went to church the next morning I saw some of the people that were there and we got to exchange knowing glances the whole time. Lots of good people in my life. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<a href='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/--l_pZjyqsG4/U12nvoqyh3I/AAAAAAAAIEs/jOff0vxX2fA/s2560/1398646712878.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/--l_pZjyqsG4/U12nvoqyh3I/AAAAAAAAIEs/jOff0vxX2fA/s640/1398646712878.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
<i>* * * * * * *<br/>
Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about. <br/>
<br/>
And thanks for joining us </i>every<i> Sunday night! Join the Baby Steps on Facebook at <a href='http://www.facebook.com/thebabystepssaga'>www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga</a> for good things every day, and updates on new posts. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for! <br/>
<br/>
Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!</i><br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-24171643782712323382014-04-23T13:54:00.005-04:002014-04-23T13:54:57.000-04:00some shade of the green life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr">
Happy belated Earth Day, y'all. I've been thinking about "the green life" a lot lately. I think it started two months ago, when I stumbled upon a TEDTalk called "Paper Beats Plastic? How To Rethink Environmental Folklore," by an environmental designer. It's a little long, but I recommend queueing it up to watch when you have a moment. It definitely changed my perspective about a few things.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" src="http://embed.ted.com/talks/leyla_acaroglu_paper_beats_plastic_how_to_rethink_environmental_folklore.html" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br />
<br />
It woke me up to the impact of my little actions, and how they add up. Spoiler: electric kettles in Britain (high tea country) cause the country to have to <i>borrow power</i> from France during commercial breaks; because paper bags are heavier, they add up to a negative environmental impact faster; and refrigerator size has increased a full cubic foot over the past few<i> years</i>. On top of the enormous energy output of our fridges, they are so big food gets lost in there. In the U.S., <i>40% </i>of the food we buy for our homes is wasted.<br />
<br />
This stuff is crazy.<br />
<br />
Other things, too, contribute to my intensifying interest in lowering my impact. The <a href="http://www.fi.edu/" target="_blank">Franklin Institute</a> (named after the illustrious Benjamin Franklin) dedicates an entire room to the study of electricity. (The global warming room leads right into it.) These exhibits feature interactive machines, including one that measures your carbon footprint. I don't remember now what mine was, but I took another <a href="http://www.earthday.org/footprint-calculator" target="_blank">ecological footprint survey</a> yesterday that told me it would take 4.6 earths to support our global population if everyone lived like me.<br />
<br />
And, to be honest, it also has something to do with the fact that I pay the monthly utility bill at our house. 'Nuff said? If the power company offers me a way to cut my usage and cut our bill in the process, I take it.<br />
<br />
<br />
But it is interesting trying to make these kinds of lifestyle changes <i>not</i> at St. Olaf, which is full of people who eat locally (and sometimes even grow their own food) and ride bikes everywhere and recycle or repurpose everything and take infrequent showers (don't worry, Oles, I say that with nostalgia, not disgust).<br />
<br />
Once, on alumni weekend, I met the guy who started St. Olaf's now robust and omnipresent recycling program. It's so omnipresent, in fact, that I was surprised at how young he was. He only graduated in 1998, but his project made an enormous cultural shift on a campus used by over 2,500 people every day. Imagine that impact spread over the past 16 years!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh4.ggpht.com/-_HfWWjf__cw/U1f8OJ4ArKI/AAAAAAAAIBE/x1Rw9VygrIE/s640/20140423_132033.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-_HfWWjf__cw/U1f8OJ4ArKI/AAAAAAAAIBE/x1Rw9VygrIE/s640/20140423_132033.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
That's not to say that every person at St. Olaf was environmentally conscious to the same degree. But it was a pretty big part of the culture there, and for the most part we shared a similar kind of environmental folklore. Now I live and work with people who learned different versions of those stories. These people aren't necessarily in the habit of recycling. We all have different preferences and tolerances for heat and cold. We have different relationships with paper towels and plastic bottles, with screens and with printing. And we have learned differently our role in the world and how to care for it. My roommates, bosses, coworkers and friends don't always go along with my eco-friendly plans (though, to be fair, sometimes they do). At work I'm the crazy hippie who eats greens and convinced them to stop buying water bottles and get a cooler instead; at home, I'm the "unconventional one," obsessed with reusing jars and turning off lights.<br />
<br />
And there are other external limitations. An electric car, for example, is not an option for me right now. Solar or wind power is not available in my neighborhood, in my current home or office. There is no bus or train that runs between my house and my work, and the roads and neighborhoods that take me there are not bike-friendly.<br />
<br />
Maybe I'm just making excuses. But it's never easy to change lifestyle patterns, particularly when I'm running my dollars and my hours down to the quick on a regular basis. There are other things that take precedence.<br />
<br />
But I really would love not to contribute to the downward spiral of this world, so I'll keep plugging away. After awhile, the little things will add up.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
</div>
<!-- Blogger automated replacement: "https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh4.ggpht.com%2F-_HfWWjf__cw%2FU1f8OJ4ArKI%2FAAAAAAAAIBE%2Fx1Rw9VygrIE%2Fs640%2F20140423_132033.jpg&container=blogger&gadget=a&rewriteMime=image%2F*" with "https://lh4.ggpht.com/-_HfWWjf__cw/U1f8OJ4ArKI/AAAAAAAAIBE/x1Rw9VygrIE/s640/20140423_132033.jpg" -->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-15611932779066392822014-04-20T20:12:00.001-04:002014-04-20T20:12:50.295-04:00all good things: i'm no superman<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><i>All Good Things started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. Cassie is celebrating Easter with her family this week, but will rejoin us next Sunday night.<br/>
<br/>
So set yourself up outside and enjoy this week's good things in the sun!</i><br/>
<br/>
1. <b>Song of the week:</b> <a href='http://youtu.be/TxM9-PK7bC8'><i>Superman</i> by Lazlo Bane</a>. The <i>Scrubs</i> theme song: I've been listening to it all day, and I also think the words are a good reminder to me. <i>I can't do this all on my own, / no, I'm no superman...</i><br/>
<br/>
2. <b>Chard sauteed in bacon grease.</b> I made rainbow chard from our CSA twice this week, chopped up and sauteed with bacon grease and just a little bit of pepper. It is <i>unbelievably</i> good, and super quick and easy!<br/>
<br/>
3. <b>New toilet seat!</b> The hinge holding our toilet seat onto the toilet was cracked when we moved in, and it finally snapped all the way off last week... Which means the seat would randomly fall off when you were sitting on it. Not cool. So like adults we went out, bought a new one, and put it on. Seriously one of the most worthwhile things I have done in awhile. It only took about 5 minutes to switch and it makes all the difference.<br/>
<br/>
4. <b>Union Jack's.</b> A pub in Manayunk (Philadelphia) that I've been hearing about for <i>years</i>. It's got a great ambience, great beer, great service, and great company. Apparently the wings are so good no other wings can live up to them, but I'm not a big fan or expert in chicken wings so I'll just pass on the recommendation on that one.<br/>
<br/>
Plus, you can control the jukebox using an app on your phone. Our group definitely took advantage of that.<br/>
<br/>
5. <b>Safe travels.</b> This is something I try not to take for granted ever, but especially now when there have been so many big transportation disasters lately. My mom and sister are in India for spring break right now, and they arrived safely at their destination.<br/>
<br/>
6. <b>Projects.</b> My dad texted me on Saturday morning to ask for help putting together a presentation for the Easter Vigil that evening. I made a version of a Creation story PowerPoint for him sometime in high school, but since then it's deteriorated and the slides got out of order. So I spent a few hours on Saturday putting it back together, and while it wasn't all fun and games, it did feel really good to help my dad in one of the biggest weeks of the church year, and to do something creative like that.<br/>
<br/>
7. <b>Being taken care of.</b> I have felt awful all day today, with a persistent headache and stomachache that laid me out on the couch for most of it. J kindly, and without complaining, gave up his Easter Sunday to camp out in the living room with me, make sure I didn't pass out from dehydration, and keep me company.<br/>
<a href='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-hJTlDb_QPxs/U1RifyzaJzI/AAAAAAAAIAE/5ZWKa1xUeoI/s2560/1398039162255.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-hJTlDb_QPxs/U1RifyzaJzI/AAAAAAAAIAE/5ZWKa1xUeoI/s640/1398039162255.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
8. <b>Lemon honey ginger.</b> This is my drink of choice this week, with the big changes in temperature and feeling sick for most of today. I shred some ginger into a pot, boil it in water, stir in a teaspoon or so of honey, and then at the last minute add a splash of lemon juice. It's so delicious and it has cured many an ill.<br/>
<br/>
9. <b><i>Scrubs.</i></b> This is one of the shows J likes to watch in his spare moments throughout the week, and this morning when I set up shop in the living room that's what he had on. So we watched it for most of the day. It's just so good. There are some dumb parts, but the show actually touches on some real human issues, emotional vulnerabilities and the nuances of relationships that keep us all on our toes, even in the real world. And it's pretty funny too.<br/>
<br/>
10. <b>Spending time just focusing on people, and being flexible.</b> This week I spent a little while hanging out with my sister and talking about college; spent time talking with my friend Jess about a whole range of different big-deal kind of things in both of our lives; worked on a project with my dad (that's our quality time); had two date nights with J, one of them spontaneous; went out for dinner spontaneously on Friday night; and I forgot my phone at home when we went out last night, so I couldn't pull it out to distract myself even if I wanted to. I feel like my time was well-spent.<br/>
<br/>
<i>* * * * * * *<br/>
Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about. <br/>
<br/>
And thanks for joining us </i>every<i> Sunday night! Join the Baby Steps on Facebook at <a href='http://www.facebook.com/thebabystepssaga'>www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga</a> for good things every day, and updates on new posts. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for! <br/>
<br/>
Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!</i><br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-25349124146731599372014-04-16T20:48:00.001-04:002014-04-16T20:48:30.809-04:00grown up magic craft bag<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>Last week I picked up our second farm share, and when I brought it home we took everything out of the bag and spread it out to see what we had to work with, and brainstorm recipes. I had a flashback from my childhood to the magic craft bag from <i>Barney</i>. If ever I wished something from my childhood TV shows would come to life, it was that.<br/>
<br/>
I waited awhile, but I probably appreciate it more now. The CSA, I am certain, is the adult version of the magic craft bag: an unanticipated combination of items that you have to figure out how to combine to make something useful and good. It is the ultimate opportunity to exercise creativity, and in my grown-up life in particular that is a welcome opportunity indeed.<br/>
<a href='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Kam0UzijQ5Q/U08k01VqbbI/AAAAAAAAH_g/A6oeIdDq6d8/s2560/1397695699074.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Kam0UzijQ5Q/U08k01VqbbI/AAAAAAAAH_g/A6oeIdDq6d8/s640/1397695699074.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
We get a new share every other week, and we barely finish it. I have been devouring articles about how to make produce last: how to keep greens from wilting and how to store fruit to keep it perky. And we have become good friends with the AllRecipes app, figuring out which search terms will turn up a recipe that uses the most of our fresh ingredients.<br/>
<br/>
This week I Googled <i>chard smoothies</i>, looking for an inspired mix to use up the leafy greens from last Wednesday. And one of the top results, to my surprise, was a bold blog title telling me <i>"How Green Smoothies Can Devastate Your Health"</i>!<br/>
<br/>
As a social media marketer, I am all too familiar with <a href='http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=clickbait'>clickbait</a>. It's a pet peeve of mine. On the other hand, what if one of my go-to breakfasts is slowly killing me?<br/>
<br/>
So I read it, and the short version is that green leafy vegetables have something in them called oxalates that can crystallize inside the body and can cut or scratch membranes and cause kidney stones and all manner of other issues. It sounded extreme, and not entirely unbiased, so I looked at a couple of other sources and noticed something that was repeated throughout the original article: <i>People who drink green smoothies tend to drink them often, several times a week or every day.</i><br/>
<br/>
First of all, this is an assumption about the behavior of ALL people who drink green smoothies. Secondly, other articles made far more of a point of saying that some people are more sensitive to oxalates and more susceptible to the kind of health problems that they can cause - <i>if you eat too many of them</i>.<br/>
<br/>
(Perfect opportunity to plug my mantra: <i>moderation,</i> people!)<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Here's the thing: my case against this anti-green smoothie post and its brethren is by no means unbiased either. I <i>like</i> green smoothies and they make me feel good, so I'm going to keep drinking them. I am obviously not an expert on oxalates, kidney stones, or even green vegetables. But I have always hated when people tell me that their social diet is better than what I'm eating. It just seems so spiteful, and I can't help but think that people who spend all their time writing these blog posts about what carcinogens are found in their favorite tea bags, and what "14 foods you eat every day that cause cancer" probably don't enjoy eating very much, and probably aren't very happy in general. <br/>
<br/>
Plus, there are probably as many blog posts about the benefits of green smoothies as there are about their dangers; as many posts about why raw veganism is good for you as there are about how bad it is for you; as many posts about how a paleo diet made someone into a new, happier and healthier person as there are about people who became miserable and sick when they tried paleo; and so on. Most of them - on any side of the fence - make some valid points, or are based on something true. <br/>
<br/>
There are things I love to eat that other people hate, things that my friends and family devour that make me feel terribly ill. I paid attention in research class when the professor said that experiential data isn't statistically valid; I know science is based on reproducible testing and results on a large scale. But let's be real. We're human. We don't believe anything unless we have some personal, first-hand connection to it. <br/>
<br/>
I like talking about what foods I like, and what foods you like, especially if we both are passionate about food. I like talking about things people are passionate about. (A friend of mine just wrote a blog post about <a href='http://youve-got-kale.com/2014/04/10/im-comin-for-you-paleo-fx/'>"spreading the paleo love"</a>, which is an approach that actually got me interested in learning more about paleo.<br/>
<br/>
Set that against a different friend who started eating paleo in college and told me regularly that our bodies aren't made to process the kind of food I was eating, and that my diet was going to kill me. You won't be surprised to learn that I didn't try very hard to eat with him from then on.)<br/>
<br/>
When I was talking about all of this, J said, "But you actually <i>like</i> eating healthy." I do. I like home-cooked meals and things I don't have to excavate from their packaging. I feel better when I eat fresh things, and I like the taste of them. I try to buy from responsible sources when I can. And, yes, I do enjoy ice cream and donuts and chips and chocolate and frozen salted caramel cappuccinos every now and then! <a href='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-8mq0cgEpHwg/U08k2yFOQRI/AAAAAAAAH_o/7GZaeY8CkDQ/s2560/1397695703894.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-8mq0cgEpHwg/U08k2yFOQRI/AAAAAAAAH_o/7GZaeY8CkDQ/s640/1397695703894.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
Across the board, I like to do things that make my life better, my relationships better, my community better, and my world better. I'm human, and there are a lot of things I can't control, so I can't hope to have zero negative impact, but I am doing my best to create a net positive. I don't want to read things or be around people who leave a bad taste in my mouth or try to force their views on me, I try to exercise the Golden Rule and not be that for other people.<br/>
<br/>
So, green-smoothie haters, try a gentler approach next time, and maybe you'll be one step closer to saving me from kidney stones.<br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-80779398913825378382014-04-13T15:24:00.001-04:002014-04-13T15:24:18.726-04:00all good things: enjoying the baby steps<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><i>All Good Things started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. We both contribute things to the list, so I'll tell you who said what to avoid confusion.<br/>
<br/>
So set yourself up outside and enjoy this week's good things in the sun!</i><br/>
<br/>
1. <b>Song of the week:</b> <a href='http://youtu.be/w5tWYmIOWGk'><i>On Top Of The World</i> by Imagine Dragons Imagine Dragons - On Top Of The World (Official M…:</a>. Another gem from the <i>Walter Mitty</i> soundtrack: completely uplifting, perfect for sunny days and springtime and a convertible, if you're lucky.<br/>
<br/>
2. <b>Witnessing other people's cute moments.</b> While waiting at a red light on my way to work on Monday morning (running late, of course), I noticed the driver in front of me twisting around in his seat, making a really enthusiastic face and raising his hand. I thought he was waving at me... until I saw a tiny hand reach up from the backseat and high-five him. I smiled so big all the way to work , and I think that guy and his baby did too. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
3. <b>Peppermint tea.</b> My go-to. When I'm tired, it perks me up; when I'm stressed, or if I'm wired at bedtime, it calms me down. It calms my stomach when I feel sick, and tastes delicious if I just want a cup of naturally non-caffeinated tea. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
4. <b><a href='http://www.fi.edu'>The Franklin Institute</a>.</b> Only 40-45 minutes away, the Franklin Institute has all kinds of awesome science exhibits, plus it's a beautiful facility. We went up yesterday with J's siblings to see the Pompeii exhibit (which was not as good as the Titanic exhibit last year, but still cool) and got to spend some time checking out the other parts of the museum. My favorite part was <i>Nat Geo</i>'s 50 best photos ever taken.<br/>
<br/>
Plus, I got a 10% discount off membership, which is only $65 a year for me and a guest! I only have to go up once more this year to make it worthwhile. I'm excited to have an excuse to go up to Philly more often! <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<a href='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-y7UjsgwQUBc/U0rkYCRzDwI/AAAAAAAAH58/L9n313jFTTc/s2560/1397417053154.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-y7UjsgwQUBc/U0rkYCRzDwI/AAAAAAAAH58/L9n313jFTTc/s640/1397417053154.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
5. <b>Finding out that you can get take out from a favorite restaurant.</b> This weekend I wanted a Reuben super bad. A restaurant we frequent (Tavern on France) has a great one, but I didn't want to go out. I bet you see where this is going! Anyway, I was pretty happy to be eating a Reuben in the comfort of my own home. <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
6. <b>Melvie is learning so fast!</b> She learned to sit, sleep through the night, and she finally will go for walks. For a while I was pretty sure we owned the only dog ever who refused to go for a walk. I think we're through that stage now! <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
7. <b>Packing books.</b> Luke and I are finally almost moved out of the old place but have books and shelves left. We started packing them today. I really enjoy going through our book collection. There's so many I have yet to read, and I get excited. <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
8. <b>Engagements and pregnancies!</b> Many of my friends are going through the next stage in their lives. I'm really enjoying chatting with all of them and hearing what their thoughts are and how excited they are. Happy times for good people! <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
9. <b><i>Tengo Ganas De Ti</i>.</b> My friend Marina has been talking about this movie for weeks, and we finally got together this week to watch it. It's a Spanish romantic drama, and we watched it with wine and without subtitles... I know I missed some of the dialogue, but it was still a great movie and I'm reminded that even with a language barrier, there are plenty of human experiences that are shared no matter where we come from. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
10. <b>Warm weather!</b> After the winter we've had, I can't take sunshine and warmth for granted. Today it's forecast to be 82 degrees and sunny, so J and I took our porch chairs out back and spent most of the morning in the sun. I am the happiest girl right now, and I'm looking forward to sprucing up our backyard so we can have a rip-roaring summer! <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<a href='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-akmEs5ukVLE/U0rkWvoY49I/AAAAAAAAH50/zD4KaOFCOiI/s2560/1397417041533.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-akmEs5ukVLE/U0rkWvoY49I/AAAAAAAAH50/zD4KaOFCOiI/s640/1397417041533.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
<i>* * * * * * *<br/>
Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about. <br/>
<br/>
And thanks for joining us </i>every<i> Sunday night! Join the Baby Steps on Facebook at <a href='http://www.facebook.com/thebabystepssaga'>www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga</a> for good things every day, and updates on new posts. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for! <br/>
<br/>
Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!</i><br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0Wilmington, Delaware, United States39.7431481 -75.5793984tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-51462525359196063502014-04-09T18:13:00.001-04:002014-04-10T13:24:16.030-04:00meeting people<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
I just read a post this week called <a href="http://busterandellie.com/10-things-that-happen-after-college/">"10 things that happen in the first year after college"</a>. From where I'm sitting, these 10 things don't seem revolutionary, or even 100% true... But I suspect that if I had read it in my first year after college I would have felt passionately that I had found a kindred spirit. They are, for the most part, very reminiscent of being a very recent graduate. Take #3: <i>Meeting new people becomes way more difficult</i>.<br />
<br />
Look back to my first year of posts. It was a struggle. I was nearly convinced that every 20-something in the state was holed up somewhere, hiding from me.<br />
<br />
I thought about starting an online dating profile, but I decided to try my hand offline first. At first I would catch rides with my family members when they had to go out somewhere, and sit at a bar with a book for an hour or two. <br />
<br />
That didn't work too well, as far as meeting anyone, but it did get me out of the house... <br />
<br />
Until I got two jobs almost simultaneously, so I met two sets of new coworkers, plus the regulars at the restaurant where I hostessed. It turns out working at a restaurant (or a coffee shop, as J and my sister can both testify) is a great way to meet people. I met quite a few interesting people while waiting tables in St. Croix Falls, plus my coworkers there, and a few suppliers of local produce (although those meetings were cemented when we met in other places, like at the Saturday farm market or the local watering hole). You go through crazy rushes with your coworkers and you have your regulars you get to know over time, and then you have random other people who might be just passing through but who you make an instant connection with and maybe become Facebook friends or start emailing back and forth. All of those things have happened to me and to people I know.<br />
<br />
Picking up the story: for sanity's sake it is not a bad idea to have other friends outside of work. Which is what led me to Bishop's Cafe, which is where I met J. I was looking for a place I wanted to hang out, supposing I would meet other people who liked to hang out in the same place, because we had something in common. The rest is history.<br />
<br />
While I was trying desperately to meet people, I also got a membership at the Y and started a borderline obsessive gym habit; went to church every week and became one of the youth leaders; hung out with my siblings a lot; invited neighbor families over for dinner; joined Meetup.com; went to networking events; looked up open mics and connected with local writers online; took frequent weekend trips to other cities to hang with college friends; hounded people I used to know who randomly ended up in the same area; and did some serious Facebook chatting with friends across the world.<br />
<br />
If nothing had changed, I was getting ready to join the DSL (Delaware Sports League) and start volunteering. (Many of the things I tried were mentioned in an article I found today called <a href="http://www.tend.com/11-ways-to-make-friends-as-an-adult/">"11 ways to make friends as an adult"</a>, plus one or two others that apply more to parents than young adults. The writer did mention, though, that the list could also be helpful to people moving into a new area.)<br />
<br />
But then I got hooked up with the Delaware-Maryland Synod's young adult cohort, and went to an event where I met someone who ended up introducing me to a lot of the people I still hang out with to this day. And soon after that I started going out with J, and have met a lot of people in the process.<br />
<br />
<br />
All this to say, it's not easy to meet people as an adult. I've been meaning to write this post literally for years, and it's funny that now is when I'm writing it, when I'm finally starting to feel secure in my local friend group.<br />
<br />
Which brings me to another point: meeting people and cementing relationships are two totally different cans of worms. I've had to remind myself, over and over again, how long it took me to solidify friendships in college, and back even to high school and middle school. It's taken me this long, after a minor breakdown at a wedding in December, about the loss of the weird St. Olaf community, to feel like I have serious ties in this state. Even though I've known the people in my circle over two years at this point. And these friendships are different than the ones I made in college. The history is different, the context is different, the things we do together and the way we approach spending time together is different.<br />
<br />
<br />
How do you meet new people, readers? How did you meet the people you spend the most time with now? And do you have any particularly excellent "how I met this person" stories?<br />
<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-qJl-Cy1nbkA/U0XGBDDVPgI/AAAAAAAAH3Y/zIfC-shdheY/s2560/1397081600720.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-qJl-Cy1nbkA/U0XGBDDVPgI/AAAAAAAAH3Y/zIfC-shdheY/s400/1397081600720.jpeg" style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" width="400" /></a><br />
<div align="right" style="font-size: xx-small;">
posted from <a href="https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger">Bloggeroid</a></div>
</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0Wilmington, Delaware, United States39.7430492 -75.579472tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-76149191568558182862014-04-06T20:05:00.001-04:002014-04-06T20:05:46.889-04:00all good things: when the world is new<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><i>All Good Things started as a one-hour Sunday night radio show on KSTO St. Olaf radio, featuring feel-good music and 10 highlights from the past week. The show, and its current written form, is brought to you by Clara, Second Set of Baby Steps creator, and my radio co-host Cassie. We both contribute things to the list, so I'll tell you who said what to avoid confusion.<br/>
<br/>
So settle in and get ready for this week's batch of good things!</i><br/>
<br/>
1. <b>Song of the week:</b> <a href='http://youtu.be/EFEmTsfFL5A'><i>Ain't It Fun</i> by Paramore</a>. J has been singing this song all week, and it's a pretty feel-good jam if you ask me. Also, it seems relevant to the theme of the blog: "Ain't it fun / Living in the real world..." <br/>
<br/>
2. <b>Yoga and craft beer at the Queen.</b> Now that the weather is warming up everyone feels like doing stuff and making plans. I found an event at a local venue that includes one hour of pretty serious yoga, plus beer, wine, and snacks afterward... All for $15. All good things! <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
3. <b>Roomie game night.</b> On Friday night the three of us got together with a couple of guests, pizza and drinks, and played Bananagrams and Cards Against Humanity. It was a nice, low-key but fun way to spend a Friday night. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
4. <b>The Blue Parrot.</b> My roommate and I have been trying to go out for dinner for weeks now, if not longer... Finally this week we made it out to the local cajun restaurant, where they make some of the best drinks I've ever had out, and also delicious New Orleans-style cuisine. Great food, great drinks, and great company? Can't go wrong. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
5. <b>Day trips to the beach.</b> This is a major perk of living in Delaware: J and I drove down to the beach on Saturday for the day, and walked around barefoot in the sand for awhile... We also visited the Indian River Life-Saving Station Museum, which I thought was interesting (and only $4 admission), and the eternal favorite Dogfish Head brewpub. I tasted their Jin gin for the first time and it was life-changing. Overall it was the most centering, contented days I've had in awhile. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<br/>
6. <b>Homemade ravioli.</b> This recipe took us literally over three hours to make, and since we don't own a rolling pin we used wine bottles to roll out the pasta... but it turned out delicious: <a href='http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Mushroom-and-Spinach-Ravioli-with-Chive-Butter-Sauce/Detail.aspx'>spinach mushroom ravioli</a>. So cheesy, and there is always something satisfying about eating something you made totally from scratch. Plus, it used up everything we had left in our CSA from last week: fresh spinach, mushrooms, and chives. <i>- Clara</i><br/>
<a href='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-rlwHrYYKnh4/U0Hr2Ga_iQI/AAAAAAAAHzA/9yPKPfwVtEw/s2560/1396829115497.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-rlwHrYYKnh4/U0Hr2Ga_iQI/AAAAAAAAHzA/9yPKPfwVtEw/s288/1396829115497.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 288px;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
7. <b>New puppy!</b> Luke and I got a new puppy a week ago. Her name is Melville, and she's a Bernese Mountain Dog. She's a little scamp right now and likes to munch on everything. But I love her already and wish I could quit my job to spend all my time with her. This also leads into my next good thing:<br/>
<br/>
8. <b>Puppies bringing people together.</b> I have met so many people this past week that I would have never met if I didn't have Melvie. People love coming up to me to ask about her, pet her, and get a puppy fix. I can't blame them since she's adorable! It's nice to meet so many people with smiling faces all due to my little Melvie. <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<a href='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-gcnjnepPNrk/U0HruQNlJgI/AAAAAAAAHy4/H2bQEdkvCXs/s2560/1396829096682.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-gcnjnepPNrk/U0HruQNlJgI/AAAAAAAAHy4/H2bQEdkvCXs/s288/1396829096682.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 288px;'/></a><br/>
<br/>
9. <b>New apartment.</b> As if getting a puppy wasn't enough to do this week I also moved! I live in the same neighborhood as before, but live in a way nicer place (example: we have full size appliances in this place. Our old place had an oven that could barely fit a sheet pan the long way). Moving was stressful, but now that we're settling in I can tell we'll be way happier here. <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
10. <b>April snow storms that melt the next day.</b> This past week Minneapolis had a large snow storm. Everyone was crabby about it, but I enjoyed it! It was really warm the next day and melted right away. There's nothing like a late winter snow storm to make me enjoy springtime even more :) <i>- Cassie</i><br/>
<br/>
<i>* * * * * * *<br/>
Thank you, readers, for being with us tonight, and for giving me reasons to write, and things to write about. <br/>
<br/>
And thanks for joining us </i>every<i> Sunday night! Join the Baby Steps on Facebook at <a href='http://www.facebook.com/thebabystepssaga'>www.Facebook.com/TheBabyStepsSaga</a> for good things every day, and updates on new posts. Come back next week for another reminder of 10 more things to be thankful for! <br/>
<br/>
Until then, be kind to each other, and find a reason to smile!</i><br/><p style='font-size: xx-small' align='right'>posted from <a href='https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger'>Bloggeroid</a></p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1394809740225776355.post-40600766994870455262014-04-02T13:31:00.001-04:002014-04-02T13:46:12.878-04:00the ideal "first question"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-8LwGEPdpHVU/UzxJciCkuxI/AAAAAAAAHx8/yleXvEgL0xM/s2560/1396459887149.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="355" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-8LwGEPdpHVU/UzxJciCkuxI/AAAAAAAAHx8/yleXvEgL0xM/s640/1396459887149.png" style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" width="640" /></a>Last weekend I went to a party for a friend in Baltimore, where I had met a few people before but didn't know many of them well. It was an interestingly informal venue to get to know new people, but I have to admit I find small talk exhausting.<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago I was talking to some friends about the differences between the Midwest and the East Coast, particularly the Mid-Atlantic. One of them recounted the story of a female friend from Virginia who married a Minnesotan guy. She said when they meet new people in the D.C. area, they ask what she does for work; in the Midwest, they ask if she is married.<br />
<br />
It's an interesting contrast, one that highlights some stereotypical cultural differences between the two regions. I know there are other contextual factors that influence what "first question" you ask, like the fact that her main contact in the Midwest is more likely family or church people, while in D.C. they are more likely professionals or peers. The question can also be influenced by age differences, whether you are meeting in a big city or a small town or on a college campus, whether you are in a corporate office building or a yoga studio or on a plane... And some contexts, and the questions that come with them, are more conducive to actually getting to know someone on a deeper level.<br />
<br />
Ideally, we agreed, neither of those orginial questions is one we would actually LIKE to form a first impression about us. But what else is there? If we could choose <i>any</i> first question to ask or be asked when meeting someone new, what would it be?<br />
<br />
<br />
One of my friends said, "I always like the Marry/Kiss/Kill with chocolate, bacon, and sweet potato fries." (For those unfamiliar with the game, you have to choose which of the three options you would prefer to spend your life with; which you would like to have a sordid moment with, but not a long-term relationship; and which you would give up forever, if you had to choose one.) <br />
<br />
Before I could ask what someone's answers to that question would tell us, we of course got caught up in our own answers, and how they have changed over time, and what that says about our lives.<br />
<br />
So maybe the question serves its purpose.<br />
<br />
I remember meeting the boyfriend of a friend, back when he was new. She got up to go the restroom, leaving him alone with us. "So," he said, with a conspiratorial grin, "any burning questions you want to ask me while she's gone?"<br />
<br />
"Not really," I replied. "All the important stuff will come up in the course of normal conversation." I didn't say it, but my sense was that what we would find out about him would be truer, more honest, if we let it come out with time.<br />
<br />
But somebody has to ask <i>something</i> to get the conversation flowing. I tried to think of my ideal first question. What do I most want to know about people? What they are passionate about. What drives them. Their main goal in life.<br />
<br />
But asking about those things up front puts a lot of pressure on the conversation. It's likely to either cause the questionee to clam up, or spew a packaged answer. Any deep and lasting relationship has to balance a sense of mutual ease and comfort with an open table for all kinds of discussions, serious or not.<br />
<br />
So I'm a little stuck. I guess if I had to choose betwween <i>"What do you do?"</i> and <i>"Are you married?"</i> I would choose the former, because it is more relevant to my actual personality, and it's more likely to lead into other, more interesting questions like, <i>"What do you like about it?" "How did you get into that?" "Is this where you want to be long-term?" "And what do you do in your spare time?"</i><br />
<br />
<br />
Actually, speaking of spare time, the best luck I've probably ever had with a first question is, <i>"What are you reading?"</i> Which could lead into what you like or dislike about the book at hand, whether you are reading it for fun or for school or for work or for a book club, and even your favorite book(s) of all time. That question has in recent history spurred interesting conversations with a woman sitting next to me on a plane; coworkers; my mechanic; and J, before we started dating! Books also contribute to a good chunk of the conversations I have with people I'm already close to.<br />
<br />
The only problem is, that question only applies to someone who is currently reading, or has a book in their possession. It also is definitely not foolproof in the age of e-readers that could be tablets. (Another argument for actual glue-and-paper books, but that's a discussion for another day...)<br />
<br />
I think I've made my choice anyway, readers: What are <i>you</i> reading?<br />
<br />
But since I already know the answer (ha, ha), I'll leave you with this: what would be your ideal "first question"?<br />
<div align="right" style="font-size: xx-small;">
posted from <a href="https://market.android.com/details?id=pl.przemelek.android.blogger">Bloggeroid</a></div>
</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089210321702717563noreply@blogger.com0