Wednesday, November 13, 2013

november again

November is National Novel Writing Month. I am probably almost 10,000 words behind where I "should" be at this point in the month (out of 50,000) but I'm pretty proud of how much I've done to date. Especially given the fact that I am writing on a bluetooth keyboard and an S3 screen, and the sheer volume of other activities that take up my time. I am not a career writer. This is my crutch and also my salvation.

I am writing a story that's been brewing for over two years now. I failed miserably to get any good writing done the past two Novembers... As in, on day one I gave up. So it is good to see these characters come to life, and good to see some substance forming.

But it is also another checkbox on my daily to-do list, another hour to squeeze out of the already overbooked days, another obligation to feel guilty about.

I got an email from the friend who introduced me to NaNoWriMo back in high school, and he said to give myself a break. "Write 30 words a day if they're good, and 30 words the next day and the next, and count it as an accomplishment," he wrote. And if my guilt outweighed my satisfaction with what I've written, I would cut back. But so far, the 1700-words-a-day goal is just the fire I need to keep it up.

November is also Delaware's Grief Awareness Month. Back in college, when I took Mike Leming's Death, Dying and Bereavement Sociology course, I briefly considered grief therapy as a career. Call me crazy, but I'm nerding out hard on grief awareness this month! I am fascinated by common human experiences: being born and loving and eating and sleeping and being grown up and getting old and dying and grieving. And I think on some level I am convinced that if we as people could focus on those things, we would see eye to eye a lot more often.

But grief, I think, deserves a spotlight of its own. Grief is so important and is also one of those taboo topics. It is seen as weakness, sometimes, and is perpetually misunderstood. And if not properly recognized, grief can be a deep dark hole that just gets deeper and darker and more and more isolating and can sometimes turn into depression.

So Grief Awareness Month is an important thing.

November is also my birthday month. I have always treasured it fiercely for that reason, and because November, not unlike grief, is perpetually misunderstood and underappreciated. It may be sometimes gloomy but it is full of potential and kinetic energy, with Daylight Savings and often the first snow and sometimes the first Sunday of Advent.

I do not think that I am a waste of a Thanksgiving baby. I feel strongly that the mixed blessing of being born around the holidays, and particularly a holiday named for gratefulness, has instilled in me a heightened sense of appreciation for the gifts I do have, and a desire to share them.

...Most of them. Except whiskey, apparently. And sweet fried plantains.

November is also complicated, as the month that starts to weigh heavy on my mood. I don't like cold and dark. I am starting to lose momentum more quickly, and find it harder to pick it up again. I am making a concerted effort to seek out things that energize me: stepping up my game at work, 1700 words a day, creating a living space that makes me happy, reading good books and learning new things and meeting new people and nerding out.

What do you think about November, readers? What makes it important and what does it signify to you? Maybe I'll write about that someday.


posted from Bloggeroid

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