Thursday, January 2, 2014

not there yet

A few weeks ago my boss called the office on his way into work. Before I picked up the phone to speak with him I took a deep breath, sat up straight, smiled, and pushed some pep into my voice.

He hesitated for a split second and then said, "...Clara?" "Yes, it's me." "Is everything ok? You sound so... upbeat."

"Yeah, I'm working on it," I said.

"But it's not New Year's yet. You didn't want to wait 'til the new year?"

"Nah. I just make resolutions whenever I want. And then when I reach one of them, I make another one."

The Happy Phone Voice is in progress; it's not natural yet, and even with effort I don't quite muster it every time. But I have noticed a change, in the way I feel when I pick up the phone, and in the way people respond to me, and in my general mood.

But I haven't made any "New Year's Resolutions," per se. There are at least a million projects I want to do, and my routine could use a little refresher. I probably have a couple of habits that could get the boot.

I have learned that it is far more effective to do one thing at a time. I'm not always very good at it, but I have noticed a change, in my general productivity and in my success at actually achieving things on a larger scale. I can take care of the thing that is most holding me back first, and then the next step falls into place.

To be fair, with my personality type the work is never done. There is always bettering that can happen, there is always something that could change. Hopefully, I will get better at tackling larger, more impossible tasks. It would be cool for something I do, someday, to make a major impact for a larger community. But I'm not there yet.

You know what else I need to get better at? Sitting still sometimes. Not having something to do for once. Enjoying down time without being nagged by the endless list of To-Do's.

And speaking of being present, this may be the last year of the blog. I know I've been saying this for awhile now, but I'm really running out of things to say. And after being mildly overwhelmed by NaNoWriMo this year, I decided I wanted to save energy for other creative projects, other writing, building, decorating. I'll finish out the third year of baby steps, in May.

And rest assured, I will not go silent.

Thanks for sticking with me this long, friends. Happy New Year. I wish you all contentedness in the year ahead.

posted from Bloggeroid

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