Wednesday, February 5, 2014

closure

A few weeks ago, when Hannah sent me her guest post, I got to the end and thought, There needs to be something more conclusive at the end.

But as I thought more about what, exactly, it would be, I realized: it said everything it needed to say. Any clincher would sound like we were trying too hard.

As a writer I think I have always been obsessed with finality. In 9th grade we had to write a short story for an assignment and I wrote mine about a Miss Universe pageant where one contestant actually turns up from another galaxy. It was sort of a dystopian piece, or cultural criticism, and I finished it with a great schism and a moralistic speech by the alien contestant.

Mrs. Nickson's comments, which I found scathing at the time, basically said the story should have ended before the soapbox. "Your message is clear enough without that," she wrote, "and the speech makes the ending feel too moralistic."

In 11th grade, when I was studying abroad, I joined a creative writing group that culminated in a portfolio contest. One of my pieces (a short essay about learning to brush my hair) finished with a quote from an Amy Grant song. The judges recommended I cut the quote and end with my final paragraph. In retrospect, I see what they meant. But at the time, I wanted a flourish.

As a reader, though, I prefer more open endings, with some hope or flexibility. I like for the characters to leave off imperfectly so we can all go on with our lives as real human beings. I do need some resolution, but I don't like when everybody lives happily ever after, or, alternatively, dies when the world explodes.

As I'm thinking about "finishing" the blog in May, I have a lot of mixed feelings. I've got a checklist of posts I've been meaning to write that I haven't yet written. I'm realizing the host of new adult issues that I haven't covered, some that I've experienced and not processed (at least not publicly), some that I haven't yet experienced that are on the horizon, some things my peers have experienced that I haven't: extended job searching, online dating, wedding planning, grad school, marriage, parenthood, starting a business.

And those things are going to continue happening, new things, new obstacles and new victories, whether I blog about them or not. So how can I end the blog, knowing that the subject matter will not end? How can I, the Closure Queen, bear to put a knot on the blog when life remains definitively un-knotted?

But I'm going to do it anyway. I'll write as many posts as I can about as many life events as I can, and then I'll just go on living them. And so will you.

posted from Bloggeroid

No comments:

Post a Comment