I have spent the better part of the past two days flattened by a terrible cough, which before it flattened me turned me into a bit of a zombie at work on Monday and a few days last week.
I have always known that sickness waits for me to wear myself out, and then at my lowest, tiredest point, it strikes. This is what happened this time: I ran myself into the ground; an upper respiratory infection, perforated eardrum, and OTC drug allergy took me out.
I also know that I am strong, and I construct my life primarily in order to keep it that way: mentally, emotionally, physically. It generally works in my favor.
As my doctor grandfather once told me, "Our bodies are amazing and designed to take care of themselves, for the most part. But sometimes they need a little help."
In my case, "a little help" means that a lot of people get on my case about taking it easy and going to a doctor, and then finally someone with medical authority signs a form basically forcing me to reset for a given amount of time. (I meant to write rest instead of reset, but I decided that I liked the implications of that mistake. So I'm leaving it, and I made it the title too.)
Normally I would be racked with anxiety about the world getting on its merry way (or not-so-merry way, as it seems lately) without me, but this time, surprisingly, I'm enjoying my only commute being between my bed, the shower, the kitchen, and the couch... With a lot of coughing interspersed.
I'm not sure why it's different this time. Maybe I'm just getting old and that means being glad for an excuse to take it easy for once.
Maybe it's because of what I found when I went away this weekend.
I flew out to MSP for the wedding of a really important friend from college, and while I was there got to see a bunch of other really important friends. And through all these conversations, and walking paths my feet know well, passing familiar places and through neighborhoods where people fix bikes in the lawn and leave their front doors open, I felt some pieces click into place that had been missing or out of alignment. You can probably tell that I have not been particularly comfortable with my general circumstances lately... But this weekend I started to finally feel at peace with myself, and suddenly a lot of things just made sense. I made sense to myself.
This all sounds very touchy-feely, but there is undeniable value in having good friendships and family relationships, and in those relationships clarifying our own selves and our lives for and with each other.
I'm not quite sure yet where this all is going, where it came from, what it means... But I'm excited to find out. Maybe Day 3 of resetting is just the right environment to start figuring it out.
I have always known that sickness waits for me to wear myself out, and then at my lowest, tiredest point, it strikes. This is what happened this time: I ran myself into the ground; an upper respiratory infection, perforated eardrum, and OTC drug allergy took me out.
I also know that I am strong, and I construct my life primarily in order to keep it that way: mentally, emotionally, physically. It generally works in my favor.
As my doctor grandfather once told me, "Our bodies are amazing and designed to take care of themselves, for the most part. But sometimes they need a little help."
In my case, "a little help" means that a lot of people get on my case about taking it easy and going to a doctor, and then finally someone with medical authority signs a form basically forcing me to reset for a given amount of time. (I meant to write rest instead of reset, but I decided that I liked the implications of that mistake. So I'm leaving it, and I made it the title too.)
Normally I would be racked with anxiety about the world getting on its merry way (or not-so-merry way, as it seems lately) without me, but this time, surprisingly, I'm enjoying my only commute being between my bed, the shower, the kitchen, and the couch... With a lot of coughing interspersed.
I'm not sure why it's different this time. Maybe I'm just getting old and that means being glad for an excuse to take it easy for once.
Maybe it's because of what I found when I went away this weekend.
I flew out to MSP for the wedding of a really important friend from college, and while I was there got to see a bunch of other really important friends. And through all these conversations, and walking paths my feet know well, passing familiar places and through neighborhoods where people fix bikes in the lawn and leave their front doors open, I felt some pieces click into place that had been missing or out of alignment. You can probably tell that I have not been particularly comfortable with my general circumstances lately... But this weekend I started to finally feel at peace with myself, and suddenly a lot of things just made sense. I made sense to myself.
This all sounds very touchy-feely, but there is undeniable value in having good friendships and family relationships, and in those relationships clarifying our own selves and our lives for and with each other.
I'm not quite sure yet where this all is going, where it came from, what it means... But I'm excited to find out. Maybe Day 3 of resetting is just the right environment to start figuring it out.
posted from Bloggeroid
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