Wednesday, October 26, 2011

vocation (disclaimer:

I am well aware of the mass eye-roll this title will elicit.  Also, having grown up Lutheran, survived and succeeded at St. Olaf College, and conducted intense research for a year on what might as well have been called "the Vocation Project," I am even more acutely aware of the complex historical, lexical, and emotional context surrounding the signifier: vocation.  Keep in mind as you read that I have critically examined the shit out of this word, and I'm choosing to use it anyway.)

The musical director at church is this incredible musician.  You wouldn't believe anybody could spice up the old Lutheran-plain-and-tall liturgy with just a piano riff here and there, a creative hymn choice, or sock-foot organ recessionals.  He'll sit there during communion and just fix his eyes on the altar to time the music perfectly with the religious ritual.  Meanwhile, his fingers are in no way fixed to any particular piano keys.  He transitions between the pre-chosen hymns with these soaring, rippling piano solos.  It may sound mundane, but trust me, it's completely (if subtly) out of this world.

Speaking of music, you might know that I love Delilah.  (In Delaware, she's on 99.5 FM from 7pm to midnight.)  Her voice is so syrupy and soothing, she picks the most hilariously perfect songs to match a caller's situation, and she's just so human -- I actually love that she gives horrible advice sometimes, and that although she's pretty regularly cynical she still makes a whopper of a living giving love advice.  Go figure.  Maybe I'm just jealous of her job.  But she's been doing it forever, and she really speaks to a TON of people.  Nationwide.  And she's been broadcasting nationally for as long as I can remember listening to the radio.

Today I got a regular update email from LinkedIn which shares what my connections have been up to lately as well as job postings I might be interested in.  One of this week's postings was for a Healthcare Research Analyst position, and it suddenly occurred to me (again) that I really love doing research.  Seeing this after I'd spent my morning putting together a report, and enjoyed myself immensely, brought the word vocation to mind.  I Love Making Reports.  And presenting them.  And lucky for me, I get to track data and trends, and report them, all day, every day.  That is my nerdy fact of the day.

My existential crisis of the day involved a "twittervention" from a couple of friends who got me on Twitter in the first place.  I should be embarrassed to admit that I was really quite devastated when I got their messages, and that I spent the whole drive to yoga debating with myself over the trump card: I really love tweeting, but I don't want to alienate the really important people in my life by doing it too much, because when it comes down to it, it's really not that important.  Fortunately, after yoga I was able to distance myself enough from the situation to see it clearly, and to see that it's really not such a dramatic either-or situation.  I can tweet a little less.  It would probably be good for me.

My "vocation" right now is not super clear.  It's like driving in fog, where you've got your headlights on but you can still barely see the stop sign.  That's mostly ok.  I'm learning a lot every single day and things keep happening that make it a little more clear.  Like all the positive messages I've received today from people I work with on different jobs and projects: "you are good at ____."  This is important to hear and to say.  Because it turns out I have not only good report-compiling skills, but some people skills that I really love to use more than most everything else in the world.  And I have been using them, as it turns out, but I haven't been giving them much credit lately and that is a shame.

For some people, it's very clear.  Even Jordan and Delilah probably still struggle from time to time.  And, all things considered, I'm in a pretty good place right now...

Namely, right up the (really gorgeous) street from the best coffee shop of all time, which I would love to link to but it's really not online -- which actually probably just adds to its charm.  Anyway, the crowning moment of today was that I spent the second half of my lunch break getting (incredibly delicious) French Caramel cafe au lait and I got to chat with the guy while he whipped up my delicious drink.  And then he gave me a discount, for no reason, on a two-dollar cup of coffee and I was PUMPED.  Not because I was particularly attached to that 50 cents, but because it was a real-life, real-nice moment.

1 comment:

  1. hey, would you mind warning me at the beginning of your post when you're gonna give me the chills?

    ...it's a little awk to nip out at my favorite coffee shop.

    thx.

    ReplyDelete