I'm writing from the shelter of the library, the best place on Main Street to find respite from heat, thirst, thunder and/or lightning. It's been a beautiful past couple of days, but we're apparently supposed to have rain all this week and I got out of work 2 hours later than anticipated only to be threatened by lightning slicing the sky and gathering thunder.
Yesterday Ann and I succeeded in creating the most epic lounge-around Sunday of all time, complete with house cocktails, naked time, dance breaks, hammock time, grooming, Chinese take-out, and chick flicks. This week I have to work a lot because half of the other servers are on vacation, and I've ended up with several extra hours per day even from my original beefed-up schedule. So I'm a little anxious about that, but I also love my work and it's good to bulk up my bank accounts before things get torn up again. I might finally be able to renew my American passport, after a year of having only up-to-date Ecuadorian ID...
But yes, I do love my job, and it shows. Almost every day someone tells me good luck in my future endeavors. On Saturday someone burst out during a wine tasting, "See, now, you're the kind of person that gives me hope for the future!" I also got over-the-top verbal thanks for "taking such good care of us," and note on a credit card receipt with a star by my name and a note that said, "nice service!" It's really nice to know I'm doing a good job, and while the industry measures success in tip percentage of sales, I appreciate the direct positive feedback. Customer service seems to be a good place for me. Note taken.
On the home front, we're having a lot of visitors in the next couple of weeks: Sarah (who roomed with both Ann and I over the past two years) and Stephen are showing up tonight after Indian dinner out with Eric; this weekend, my steady college friend Lisa will most likely spend some time with us; next week my old friend Alex will take a Greyhound out from Amsterdam, and Grampa and Thomas will stay for a few nights when they drop off my car! Playing almost constant hostess seems daunting from now, but it will be fun to have all those people see my life here. Apologies in advance for having a life, i.e. I will have to work a lot. But I'll take good care of you all.
I got an offer to rent a room from one of my coworkers if I end up sticking around here come September, which takes one issue off the table. I'd still need another job, although that's the case either way. While my most touted woe about the prospect of leaving Wisconsin is the prospect of leaving all Wisconsin's wonderful microbreweries, my most pressing woe is the prospect of leaving my Bizz, my mainstay: Ann (despite the fact that anyone who has seen us together on our home turf might think we really can't stand each other, just because of our banter). I also feel this pang in my chest whenever the guy at the Chinese restaurant says, "Oh, welcome to the area!" or when Tony stops at the kitchen window at the restaurant to say, "I just decided I want to get to know you better, because you're so quiet and I don't know anything about you -- you should come out with us sometimes." Or when Mike and Linda sit at the bar while I wash glasses and tease, "So when are you coming back from Delaware? You're messing up our schedule!" And I realize how many wines I still haven't tasted.
At the same time, the idea of hanging out with my sisters or visiting my brother at school in Boston on a regular basis is a really nice one; I'd love to be able to swing up toward friends back in Amsterdam or at different New York schools without breaking the bank; and of course I couldn't complain about not having to pay rent! I also realized recently that I haven't really talked to my parents in weeks, maybe even a full month, which is weird. There are still things I'd love to learn from them, in fact things I would never have thought to ask about before I'd been living mostly on my own for awhile, and I really do think they're cool. I go back and forth every couple of days between staying out east or staying midwest, feeling like I've set my heart on one thing or the other, and then something changes, I have one conversation or thought and it's totally switched or at least back to the drawing board. This is agonizing.
And yet I've never been happier with my life.
Yesterday Ann and I succeeded in creating the most epic lounge-around Sunday of all time, complete with house cocktails, naked time, dance breaks, hammock time, grooming, Chinese take-out, and chick flicks. This week I have to work a lot because half of the other servers are on vacation, and I've ended up with several extra hours per day even from my original beefed-up schedule. So I'm a little anxious about that, but I also love my work and it's good to bulk up my bank accounts before things get torn up again. I might finally be able to renew my American passport, after a year of having only up-to-date Ecuadorian ID...
But yes, I do love my job, and it shows. Almost every day someone tells me good luck in my future endeavors. On Saturday someone burst out during a wine tasting, "See, now, you're the kind of person that gives me hope for the future!" I also got over-the-top verbal thanks for "taking such good care of us," and note on a credit card receipt with a star by my name and a note that said, "nice service!" It's really nice to know I'm doing a good job, and while the industry measures success in tip percentage of sales, I appreciate the direct positive feedback. Customer service seems to be a good place for me. Note taken.
On the home front, we're having a lot of visitors in the next couple of weeks: Sarah (who roomed with both Ann and I over the past two years) and Stephen are showing up tonight after Indian dinner out with Eric; this weekend, my steady college friend Lisa will most likely spend some time with us; next week my old friend Alex will take a Greyhound out from Amsterdam, and Grampa and Thomas will stay for a few nights when they drop off my car! Playing almost constant hostess seems daunting from now, but it will be fun to have all those people see my life here. Apologies in advance for having a life, i.e. I will have to work a lot. But I'll take good care of you all.
I got an offer to rent a room from one of my coworkers if I end up sticking around here come September, which takes one issue off the table. I'd still need another job, although that's the case either way. While my most touted woe about the prospect of leaving Wisconsin is the prospect of leaving all Wisconsin's wonderful microbreweries, my most pressing woe is the prospect of leaving my Bizz, my mainstay: Ann (despite the fact that anyone who has seen us together on our home turf might think we really can't stand each other, just because of our banter). I also feel this pang in my chest whenever the guy at the Chinese restaurant says, "Oh, welcome to the area!" or when Tony stops at the kitchen window at the restaurant to say, "I just decided I want to get to know you better, because you're so quiet and I don't know anything about you -- you should come out with us sometimes." Or when Mike and Linda sit at the bar while I wash glasses and tease, "So when are you coming back from Delaware? You're messing up our schedule!" And I realize how many wines I still haven't tasted.
At the same time, the idea of hanging out with my sisters or visiting my brother at school in Boston on a regular basis is a really nice one; I'd love to be able to swing up toward friends back in Amsterdam or at different New York schools without breaking the bank; and of course I couldn't complain about not having to pay rent! I also realized recently that I haven't really talked to my parents in weeks, maybe even a full month, which is weird. There are still things I'd love to learn from them, in fact things I would never have thought to ask about before I'd been living mostly on my own for awhile, and I really do think they're cool. I go back and forth every couple of days between staying out east or staying midwest, feeling like I've set my heart on one thing or the other, and then something changes, I have one conversation or thought and it's totally switched or at least back to the drawing board. This is agonizing.
And yet I've never been happier with my life.
A local, free newspaper publishes Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology horoscopes every week. I'm obsessed and you'll see why in the next sentence. Your H-scope for this week: "Sagittarian author Derrick Jensen wrote the book A Language Older Than Words. He weaves together the tale of his abusive childhood with an angry analysis of the damage human beings have done to the earth and each other. It's a wrenching text, but in the end it offers redemption. A review by Publisher's Weekly says that "Jensen's book accomplishes the rare feat of both breaking and mending the reader's heart." I invite you to pursue a similar possibility, Sagittarius. Summon the courage to allow your heart to be broken by a blessed catharsis that will ultimately heal your heart so it's even stronger and smarter than it was before the breaking."
ReplyDeleteYou're more intrepid, courageous, and hopeful than most could even imagine being.
i <3 u