Saturday, March 31, 2012

guest post: things i've learned since i left college


I got an email a few days ago from my friend and St. Olaf classmate Kyle, basically a quick check-in on post-grad life.  The meat of this message was the following list, which pretty much speaks for itself.  And now, without further ado...

Things I've learned since I left college:
  • That nobody is going to be impressed by you bragging about how many hours/week you work. 
  • That college stories seem significantly less funny when you try and tell them to post-college friends.
  • That Sunday is suddenly the best day of the week.
  • That a quick 10 word text from a distant friend means a lot.
  • That you might still feel weird while bringing your 12-pack of beer from the car to your house.
  • That you will realize that you were way more stressed out at St. Olaf than you realized at the time
  • That there are plenty of attractive, smart, and fun people off the Hill, but they are much, much less concentrated.
  • That everybody has a tough adjustment. 
  • That if you come back for Homecoming or for Fest and ask old friends how they are doing, almost invariably they will answer, "I'm fine."
  • That "fine" is not bad. 
  • That St. Olaf was a much stranger place than you thought, when you compare it to the rest of the country.
  • That sometimes you'll be walking across the street and a memory of some dumb thing you did in college will pop into your head, and you will laugh like a fool, and that this is a good thing. 
  • That you're probably not going to stay in touch w/ Olaf friends as well as you want to.
  • That infrequent communication in a long-distance friendship isn't a reflection on the importance or authenticity of that friendship
  • That you will have absolutely no obligations much more frequently, and that this is a wonderful thing.
  • That reading for pleasure is much, much more rewarding than reading for class. 
  • That there may come a time when you have this perverse itch to write an eight page paper, footnotes and all. 
  • That professors really do like it when you keep in touch with them.
  • That your parents are actually fairly wise and cool.
  • That having to make a plan for how to get home at the end of a night is a huge pain in the ass.
  • That St. Olaf was way more homogeneous than you thought, no matter what Admissions says.
  • That bars are way more intimidating when you don't know everybody's name.
  • That the anonymity at these bars is quite nice sometimes.
  • That the food in the Caf was really, really good.
  • That online dating is rough.
  • That spending time alone is not only permissible, but even healthy.
  • That most musical ensembles are much less in tune that the St. Olaf ensembles.
  • That, in all honesty, you're not sure if you would go back to Olaf, even if you could, wonderful as it was.
  • That there is no dream so beautiful as the dream of living within 1/2 mile of your 40 closest friends again.
  • That making new friends is easier once you realize most recent college graduates are looking for new friendships, just like you.
  • That St. Olaf taught you to work hard, to listen, and to question, and to truly seek understanding
  • That your boss may not appreciate the last two, but hey, s/he's the one who hired a Liberal Arts graduate.
  • That the "glass half full/glass half empty" maxim is shockingly true and important to think about every day
  • That some days are just going to suck.
  • That some days aren't.
  • That drinking on a Tuesday night, or a Wednesday, or a Monday, isn't as bad an idea as it was in college. 
  • That drinking on a Sunday night is still a pretty bad idea.
  • That there isn't chapel time, but you can (and should) make chapel time for yourself every day.
  • That happy hour always sounds like a great idea, but then you're just groggy for the rest of the day
  • That you don't need to be happy all the time to be doing well.*
  • That you're really grateful to your professors for teaching you how to think/write/create/whatever.
  • That having a little bit of money is actually pretty fun.
  • That most jobs don't have an interim break.
  • That there are people who went to lower-ranked schools who are way smarter than you. And vice-versa.*
  • That, when thinking back to college, you tend to forget the crappy times and just remember the awesome times.
  • That this selective memory, while pleasant, can be dangerous.
  • That it's good to remind yourself on the days you hate your job that there were days you hated your college classes too. 
  • That St. Olaf will mail you something every two weeks.
  • That, if you give a gift to the college, they will send you a thank-you letter, including a pre-stamped envelope asking for more money
  • That you'll get through whatever you're going through.*
  • That having somebody else clean your bathroom was really nice.
  • That not having to share a bathroom is really nice. 
  • Finally, that "Fram Fram" isn't just the school song. It's the mission that got inside of you during your time on the hill. Forward, Forward. 

Kyle is a fellow band'o'lier (legacy from a haphazard sophomore year spring break trip to New Mexico, before which I really didn't know him) and St. Olaf Class of 2011 graduate.  He is currently doing a year of AmeriCorps service with Admissions Possible in Omaha, Nebraska.  For a quick glimpse into what he's been doing since May 29, 2011, check out the blog post that made my heart soar, with pride for my friend, hope for my classmates, and faith in community.

*Starred comments are the contribution of another 2011 Ole, affectionately known as "JoePa," who is currently studying at Princeton Theological Seminary in New Jersey.

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