So The sun enters the fiery realm of Sagittarius.
This part of the solar journey brings the longest nights of the year,
nights filled with festivity and exploration, new friendships, travel, reading,
study and passionate work toward the goals we believe
will help ourselves and our loved ones prosper.
How fitting. Just so you're all aware, we are now officially under my sign. (I refuse to acknowledge the apparent horoscopic glitch about all the signs being off by however many months; I was, am, and always will be a Sagg at heart.) So, please celebrate. How could you not, with "nights filled with festivity and exploration" and all that?! I think I'm finally ready for this. Let's hope I haven't missed my chance with Coffeeshopcrush. He seemed less receptive to my halfassed non-advances today.
Either way, he'll have to wait until next week, because I'm tired and cranky already just thinking about 2 days of holiday hostessing...
On the plus side, my new mattress is being delivered tomorrow, and I was just reading "The Entrepreneur's Guide to a Good Night's Sleep." Not that it said anything new, but it just struck me as particularly profound today. Maybe because I somehow managed to trick myself into napping last night, and I feel a little better overall ever since.
I also finally got through my Box of Papers to Sort and Process, and at the very bottom I found two brochures from St. Olaf's Counseling Center, one titled Loneliness and one titled Addictive Relationships. I picked them up at the mental health fair in the spring, stuffed them in the bottom of the box and completely forgot about them until right now--which is pretty ironic considering I probably set them aside with this transition in mind. This is the first time in awhile that I look at these brochures and think, "Maybe someone I know will need these" instead of "I wonder if there's anything in here I don't already know."
To summarize, in case someone I know DOES need these, the loneliness brochure basically says, "Use this time to figure out and enjoy yourself." Check. And the addictive relationships brochure says, "If you know you're in a relationship that's bad for you but you're convincing yourself to stay in it, find a support group and work your way out." Also check. Awesome.
I interrupted the writing of this episode in my life to go to Zumba, speaking of enjoying myself. An hour of busting moves really gets those endorphins going, and driving through a blinding rainstorm to get to the move-busting is almost as inspiring.
By 8pm, the torrential downpour had subsided to a drizzle like a gazillion dancing ladybugs--NOT Asian beetle bites. The kind of drizzle that makes you feel like you're stuck in the movie Push, or maybe American Beauty. I drove to pick up Asha with the window open and Lady Antebellum blaring on the radio.
This is why I moved home. To pick up my sisters when my parents can't, because the conversations I had with my mom when she chauffeured me around in high school were the ones that solidified our relationship.
I tried to listen more than talk. But I realized, my big sister never gave me any love or life advice (probably because I don't have a big sister). I blundered through all that on my own, and figured everything out in hindsight, since I'm always too immersed in the present moment to lift my head and check out the scene. She looked at me as I talked and said, "I never knew of any boyfriend you ever had, but now I realize you dated like 20 guys." Yeah, ok, great. But now I have something to share.
If I could give one piece of advice to everyone I ever meet, it would be this: Forget what you "should" feel in a certain situation or relationship, and spend your time figuring out what you DO feel about it. At least be honest with yourself to avoid digging yourself into a hole, where suddenly one day you look around and realize you can't tell which way is the sky anymore.
This sounds really dark and sad and morbid. But if I was ever lost inside the Earth's crust, I can see the whole sky now, and I can tell when it's sunny and when it's raining. And I'm taking this time to really feel the sun and the rain on my skin, and figure out what I like to do in all kinds of weather.
November has always struck me as a grey month, but this one has been enlightening. I really love it, despite the tempests and the indecisive sunshine, and the total whiteout that will no doubt engulf me on my way north this weekend. Praying for a smooth drive, but I can't wait to go "home."
This is why I moved home. To pick up my sisters when my parents can't, because the conversations I had with my mom when she chauffeured me around in high school were the ones that solidified our relationship.
I tried to listen more than talk. But I realized, my big sister never gave me any love or life advice (probably because I don't have a big sister). I blundered through all that on my own, and figured everything out in hindsight, since I'm always too immersed in the present moment to lift my head and check out the scene. She looked at me as I talked and said, "I never knew of any boyfriend you ever had, but now I realize you dated like 20 guys." Yeah, ok, great. But now I have something to share.
If I could give one piece of advice to everyone I ever meet, it would be this: Forget what you "should" feel in a certain situation or relationship, and spend your time figuring out what you DO feel about it. At least be honest with yourself to avoid digging yourself into a hole, where suddenly one day you look around and realize you can't tell which way is the sky anymore.
This sounds really dark and sad and morbid. But if I was ever lost inside the Earth's crust, I can see the whole sky now, and I can tell when it's sunny and when it's raining. And I'm taking this time to really feel the sun and the rain on my skin, and figure out what I like to do in all kinds of weather.
November has always struck me as a grey month, but this one has been enlightening. I really love it, despite the tempests and the indecisive sunshine, and the total whiteout that will no doubt engulf me on my way north this weekend. Praying for a smooth drive, but I can't wait to go "home."
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