state of crisis

When I interviewed for my social media job, the team warned me that life at this firm is a constant state of crisis.  I laughed, because crisis runs in my blood.  Only two days earlier, in a conversation with my parents, my dad had said about some people we know, "She gets exhausted because she thinks he runs in constant crisis mode, and he thinks she's not taking things seriously."  And I said, "I say that about you actually, that you're in constant crisis mode."  And then I had to explain (probably unsuccessfully) how fond I am of that particular quality in my dad -- especially since I have almost definitely inherited at least some of it.  Mostly, I think it shows how much he really, really cares.

Speaking of crisis (how unusual, ha), the first thing I heard when I got into my car this morning (at 7am) was that there was an accident on some major highway.  I passed another one, L. passed one, and B. passed one on our way to meet up for the presentation.  We passed another accident on the way back from the ReStore and Lowe's this afternoon, and a car got totaled right outside the Den tonight while I was working.  The blue flashing lights of the police car sparkled through the rainy windows, just like in the movies.

That's a lot of accidents for one day.

When I turned into my street on my way home from work, early, I saw two cop cars parked in front of a house.  Immediately I said out loud, "That better not ******* be my house!"  Maybe if I was less selfish I would have just been sad for whoever's house it was -- and after my initial adrenaline rush, I was sad for that person; it was a neighbor of ours, about three houses down.  Apparently she decided randomly to come home for lunch today, found her door wide open, and ran into the guy inside her home.  Terrifying.  So she threw her keys at him, he ran, and she chased him up the street yelling for help.

Long story short, the guy was caught, along with an accomplice.  There is some likelihood that this is the same guy/team of guys who robbed our house.  I care less about "justice" than I do about the security of our neighborhood.  It's supposed to be a quiet neighborhood.  Neighbors recall two robberies in the past 15 years.  People grow up here, move back as adults, raise children here.  This is unusual.  Our district, of course, wants to keep it that way.

Delaware has not been doing the best job at convincing me that this state is not normally full of disasters -- that it is not a State of Constant Crisis.  Fortunately I am increasingly charmed by many aspects of the state, and meeting a lot of wonderful people.  But I can't help but wonder...

I have this semi-constant apocalyptic inkling these days -- or, I am acutely aware of The Economic Crisis, Climate Change, Unemployment, The Disintegration of the Family, Terrorism, The Problems With Oil and Gasoline, Cancer, The Rapture, 2012, and so on.  My question, at least since college graduation, has been: is it just me, or is the world falling apart?

Fortunate soul that I am, I spent my free afternoon driving around with people who have been alive twice as long or four times as long as I have -- i.e., they might have some perspective on the Current State of Crisis.

(For the record, I'm not just living at home right now because it's cheap and I can't handle independence.  It's also because my family is pretty cool in general, and I basically haven't lived at home for 6 years now, and during that time I have been making mental lists of things I still want to learn from them.  Case in point.)

Grampi mentioned that he watched his father fight in World War I, his family suffer through the Great Depression (both national and personal Great Depressions), and his brother fight in World War II.  I would say this is a pretty intense prolonged state of crisis.  He did concede, "I could see now, with how fast we can get the news, that it feels more present now than it did before when we had to wait for our headlines.  But these things were probably happening just as much before."

My dad commented that it was not unusual when he was growing up for kids to assume they would die in a nuclear war.  This is wild to me.  Now, he suggested, we worry that we'll die in a terrorist attack.  "We feed on disaster," he said grimly.  "That's why we have reality TV."

Yes, they said, environmental change does seem to be causing fluke natural disasters.  Everyone, even my bosses, readily admits that the economy is taking a toll on our society and our lifestyles.  But also, "your age right now does kind of feel like a major crisis," my dad pointed out.  "You're suddenly having to take all this responsibility, depend on yourself for some things you're not used to and then learning how to depend on other people for those things sometimes."  "It is a pretty big deal," my mom chimed in.

I've decided to give Delaware another chance to prove itself to me.  We may spar a bit, but I think we're learning to get along.  Despite the number of times I've said or thought something's gotta give in the past few years, I don't need to waste my time waiting for something to give.

I should really spell it out on my resume: Just because it's a State of Crisis doesn't mean it's not Business as Usual.  When it comes down to it, you still just have to push through and hope you break the surface for a moment long enough to fill your lungs with good, clean air.